The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"The track was released on 23 October 2000 in the United Kingdom by Virgin Records as the lead single from Forever, as a double A-side single with "Holler". Incorporate the double A-side in a different way. It's a bit tacked on/run-on
"which some critics believed it was" -> remove it
Last sentence of first para add what's in italics: "Group member Melanie..."
Scotland is part of the UK, so it's odd to refer to it as "internationally" here
add a colon after "on two of their concert tours"
Background and release
Instead of "the former", mention him by name "Darkchild"
Add/repeat the relevant inline citation after Darkchild's quote
Remove the wikilink on Melanie Chisholm. Is it appropriate to instead refer to her as Mel C? Isn't that more recognizable?
I had this same doubt when writing this article. I've changed to her stage name Melanie C for this and other occurrences throughout the article Alexreach me!14:24, 12 August 2023 (UTC)reply
"however, months later, a representative for the group stated that the first single had not been chosen yet." <- it doesn't feel necessary to mention that someone may have been misinformed or wasn't prepared to talk about it, especially since what was previously said was true. I think you're trying to say that both were lead singles since it was a double-A?
Everything in the first paragraph is ref 18, so you just the one in-line citation at the end of the paragraph.
Critical reception
The article for
Sputnikmusic was just deleted and as part of that process, editors pointed out that it may not have a reputable site. Suggest removing.
Commercial performance
"during the first day on sale" -? during its first day on sale
"selling" -> having sold
"on its first week" -> during its first week
The NME ref (#40) clarifies that it is in fact a UK record. That wasn't obvious before. You should clarify this.
General comment about "Chisholm" again instead of the more recognizable Melanie C or Mel C. Ignore this if that's not the typical convention, but it feels to me like a Madonna situation where you use their commonly known name not their last name.
The sentence beginning with "Chisholm's 11th..." <- once again, is this just UK?
Scotland separate from UK again?
Fix ref order for the 5 refs in a row.
"...for another week, becoming..." add and after the comma
Music video
"filmed within two days in summer 2000, being directed" -> change within to in, and being to and was.
"clip" -> use video since it's not just a snippet
Note to self that the synopsis does not need a ref since there is no analysis present.
Live performances
Add something to emphasize the time difference between performances.
colon before the concert tours
I had forgotten who Halliwell was by this point in the article. But also does that mean 4 sang or 5?
The way this is written, you shouldn't introduce the two tours by name prior to explaining them. It's so short that it feels repetitive. Instead, put a period after "their concert tours", name the first, have the three or so sentences about it followed by the intro and sentences about the other.
The reception of the Spice World tour appears to be about the song itself, not the tour or performance. It's almost more about legacy since it's 20 years later?
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"The track was released on 23 October 2000 in the United Kingdom by Virgin Records as the lead single from Forever, as a double A-side single with "Holler". Incorporate the double A-side in a different way. It's a bit tacked on/run-on
"which some critics believed it was" -> remove it
Last sentence of first para add what's in italics: "Group member Melanie..."
Scotland is part of the UK, so it's odd to refer to it as "internationally" here
add a colon after "on two of their concert tours"
Background and release
Instead of "the former", mention him by name "Darkchild"
Add/repeat the relevant inline citation after Darkchild's quote
Remove the wikilink on Melanie Chisholm. Is it appropriate to instead refer to her as Mel C? Isn't that more recognizable?
I had this same doubt when writing this article. I've changed to her stage name Melanie C for this and other occurrences throughout the article Alexreach me!14:24, 12 August 2023 (UTC)reply
"however, months later, a representative for the group stated that the first single had not been chosen yet." <- it doesn't feel necessary to mention that someone may have been misinformed or wasn't prepared to talk about it, especially since what was previously said was true. I think you're trying to say that both were lead singles since it was a double-A?
Everything in the first paragraph is ref 18, so you just the one in-line citation at the end of the paragraph.
Critical reception
The article for
Sputnikmusic was just deleted and as part of that process, editors pointed out that it may not have a reputable site. Suggest removing.
Commercial performance
"during the first day on sale" -? during its first day on sale
"selling" -> having sold
"on its first week" -> during its first week
The NME ref (#40) clarifies that it is in fact a UK record. That wasn't obvious before. You should clarify this.
General comment about "Chisholm" again instead of the more recognizable Melanie C or Mel C. Ignore this if that's not the typical convention, but it feels to me like a Madonna situation where you use their commonly known name not their last name.
The sentence beginning with "Chisholm's 11th..." <- once again, is this just UK?
Scotland separate from UK again?
Fix ref order for the 5 refs in a row.
"...for another week, becoming..." add and after the comma
Music video
"filmed within two days in summer 2000, being directed" -> change within to in, and being to and was.
"clip" -> use video since it's not just a snippet
Note to self that the synopsis does not need a ref since there is no analysis present.
Live performances
Add something to emphasize the time difference between performances.
colon before the concert tours
I had forgotten who Halliwell was by this point in the article. But also does that mean 4 sang or 5?
The way this is written, you shouldn't introduce the two tours by name prior to explaining them. It's so short that it feels repetitive. Instead, put a period after "their concert tours", name the first, have the three or so sentences about it followed by the intro and sentences about the other.
The reception of the Spice World tour appears to be about the song itself, not the tour or performance. It's almost more about legacy since it's 20 years later?
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.