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Reviewer: KnowIG ( talk) 11:30, 14 March 2011 (UTC)
Prose needs looking at and a bit of work to it before we get to GA standards. I'll sort it later. KnowIG ( talk) 09:58, 15 March 2011 (UTC)
freshman.Is fresherman not the better word/phrase to use here.
No I'm well aware of it just didn't seem to read as well imo.
In addition to ranking first among team defensemen in scoring. Gives the impression that it's going to be a league high before you state team
How about he was the team's leading defenseman in scoring
career-high. The dashes don't look right in the article but you've used the correct ones
Yeah guess so
After starting off the 2009–10 season slowly. off is redundent
Sweatt's brother, Bill Sweatt,. Shorten the link to Bill.
team history . Team's
how did he do with the Moose.
That's what I was after. I assume there is one than more player for his position, so he got picked on merit.
team's roster and placed on the long-term injured reserve (injured players are not eligible to be sent down to the minors).[15][16]. List needs to be inserted at the end.
No just insert the word list to make the sentence make sense. That's what I was after. e.g. injured reserve list.
has won two gold (2004, 2006), one silver (2009) and two bronze medals (2003, 2005) with the United States. Has redunedent. With the US redundent
Possibley put all the stuff on inline hockey in one paragraph
International ice hockey. One line. Can you expand. Or merge somewhere else until he plays more games
Ok. As I say it can alway be reestablished later when he plays more internationals
brother Bill Sweatt, in Highland Park, Illinois, a drive of an hour-and-a-half away from Elburn. Does the reader really care how far away it was
Reference the awards and your done. KnowIG ( talk) 22:24, 15 March 2011 (UTC)
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Reviewer: KnowIG ( talk) 11:30, 14 March 2011 (UTC)
Prose needs looking at and a bit of work to it before we get to GA standards. I'll sort it later. KnowIG ( talk) 09:58, 15 March 2011 (UTC)
freshman.Is fresherman not the better word/phrase to use here.
No I'm well aware of it just didn't seem to read as well imo.
In addition to ranking first among team defensemen in scoring. Gives the impression that it's going to be a league high before you state team
How about he was the team's leading defenseman in scoring
career-high. The dashes don't look right in the article but you've used the correct ones
Yeah guess so
After starting off the 2009–10 season slowly. off is redundent
Sweatt's brother, Bill Sweatt,. Shorten the link to Bill.
team history . Team's
how did he do with the Moose.
That's what I was after. I assume there is one than more player for his position, so he got picked on merit.
team's roster and placed on the long-term injured reserve (injured players are not eligible to be sent down to the minors).[15][16]. List needs to be inserted at the end.
No just insert the word list to make the sentence make sense. That's what I was after. e.g. injured reserve list.
has won two gold (2004, 2006), one silver (2009) and two bronze medals (2003, 2005) with the United States. Has redunedent. With the US redundent
Possibley put all the stuff on inline hockey in one paragraph
International ice hockey. One line. Can you expand. Or merge somewhere else until he plays more games
Ok. As I say it can alway be reestablished later when he plays more internationals
brother Bill Sweatt, in Highland Park, Illinois, a drive of an hour-and-a-half away from Elburn. Does the reader really care how far away it was
Reference the awards and your done. KnowIG ( talk) 22:24, 15 March 2011 (UTC)