The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: ArcticSeeress ( talk · contribs) 09:29, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
Hey, Sims2aholic8. I'm ArcticSeeress, and I'll be reviewing this article. I see you currently have other reviews in progress, but there probably won't be too much to say here. I made a change to the article by removing a link that seems like a copyright violation (per
WP:LINKVIO). I'll get to reviewing the rest of the article in a bit.
ArcticSeeress (
talk)
09:29, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The contest was organised...). I'd suggest revising this.
Three places in the 1993 Eurovision Song Contest, held on 15 May in Millstreet, Ireland, were provided for countries which had never taken part before, and seven countries ultimately sent entries to be performed and voted on in the televised contest in Slovenia.
Ultimately? What is this word trying to emphasize?
and Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia and Slovenia were chosen...- I'd suggest changing the first "and" here to another conjunction (such as "with") to reduce repetition of the same word.
I may come back to the lead when I've done the rest of the review to see if everything is verified. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 09:58, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
competition organised annually by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) and featuring participants- I'd suggest removing the "and" here, as it is connecting relative clauses of different types (the first being passive, and the second being a gerund).
this increase in interest was the result of many new countries being formed following the breakup of Yugoslavia and dissolution of the Soviet Union and as part of revolutions leading to the fall of communist regimes in Europe and across the world which took place in the late 1980s and early 1990s- A run-on sentence similar to the one in the lead. Please revise.
To accommodate this new interest.... The rest of this sentence is very long. I'd suggest breaking it up.
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:18, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
Another comment:
and Petar Ugrin and Mojmir Sepe serving as musical directors and leading the RTVSLO Revue Orchestra- The word "and" appears three times in roughly fifteen words. Revise to remove repetition. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:31, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
By February 1993 however the...- Add commas before and after "however"
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:48, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The three countries which received the most votes once all countries had voted, and thus progressed to the Eurovision Song Contest 1993, were...
once all countries had voted- Isn't this fairly self-evident?
Estonia, Hungary, Romania and Slovakia, which...- This sentence is long. I'd suggest revising.
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:48, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
These jurors was based in the studio
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:18, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The broadcast was taken- Taken? I'm not sure that is the right word here.
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:18, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
All of the images are relevant and have proper licencing:
I'd suggest adding alt text, but this is not a criterion for good articles. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:38, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll go through the article again after you've made your changes. Good work so far. I'll place the article on hold for now. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:47, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
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history) ·
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Reviewer: ArcticSeeress ( talk · contribs) 09:29, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
Hey, Sims2aholic8. I'm ArcticSeeress, and I'll be reviewing this article. I see you currently have other reviews in progress, but there probably won't be too much to say here. I made a change to the article by removing a link that seems like a copyright violation (per
WP:LINKVIO). I'll get to reviewing the rest of the article in a bit.
ArcticSeeress (
talk)
09:29, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The contest was organised...). I'd suggest revising this.
Three places in the 1993 Eurovision Song Contest, held on 15 May in Millstreet, Ireland, were provided for countries which had never taken part before, and seven countries ultimately sent entries to be performed and voted on in the televised contest in Slovenia.
Ultimately? What is this word trying to emphasize?
and Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia and Slovenia were chosen...- I'd suggest changing the first "and" here to another conjunction (such as "with") to reduce repetition of the same word.
I may come back to the lead when I've done the rest of the review to see if everything is verified. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 09:58, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
competition organised annually by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) and featuring participants- I'd suggest removing the "and" here, as it is connecting relative clauses of different types (the first being passive, and the second being a gerund).
this increase in interest was the result of many new countries being formed following the breakup of Yugoslavia and dissolution of the Soviet Union and as part of revolutions leading to the fall of communist regimes in Europe and across the world which took place in the late 1980s and early 1990s- A run-on sentence similar to the one in the lead. Please revise.
To accommodate this new interest.... The rest of this sentence is very long. I'd suggest breaking it up.
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:18, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
Another comment:
and Petar Ugrin and Mojmir Sepe serving as musical directors and leading the RTVSLO Revue Orchestra- The word "and" appears three times in roughly fifteen words. Revise to remove repetition. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:31, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
By February 1993 however the...- Add commas before and after "however"
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:48, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The three countries which received the most votes once all countries had voted, and thus progressed to the Eurovision Song Contest 1993, were...
once all countries had voted- Isn't this fairly self-evident?
Estonia, Hungary, Romania and Slovakia, which...- This sentence is long. I'd suggest revising.
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 10:48, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
These jurors was based in the studio
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:18, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
The broadcast was taken- Taken? I'm not sure that is the right word here.
ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:18, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
All of the images are relevant and have proper licencing:
I'd suggest adding alt text, but this is not a criterion for good articles. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:38, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll go through the article again after you've made your changes. Good work so far. I'll place the article on hold for now. ArcticSeeress ( talk) 11:47, 2 August 2023 (UTC)