I would like to see the lead somewhat longer, and better summarize the article. At minimum, the biography and worship should be mentioned in a lot greater detail. The lead can be twice the current length if possible. There are a number of one- (or two-) sentence paragraphs. These should be merged with other paragraphs. I believe I have addressed this issue through my copyedit—that also fixed the MoS errors. Take a look at the diff of my edit to learn some systematic errors; these included quotes in italics, mixing of BCE/CD and BC/AD (choose one), forced image size, use of a hyphen (-) instead of an emdash (—) for punctuation, and the odd capitalization. Under the performing section, this sentence in uncomprehensable: "Kathak dancer, Shovana Narayan explores Lucknow gharana of Kathak has several performances based on Krishna's life."
A comprehenisve and interesting article; if fixed to match the comments on the lead, the performing arts and the cite template it should pass GA. Arsenikk(talk)16:07, 11 October 2008 (UTC)reply
Removed "Kathak dancer, Shovana Narayan explores Lucknow gharana of Kathak has several performances based on Krishna's life." as UNDUE to the artist. --
Redtigerxyz (
talk)
04:23, 13 October 2008 (UTC)reply
I would like to see the lead somewhat longer, and better summarize the article. At minimum, the biography and worship should be mentioned in a lot greater detail. The lead can be twice the current length if possible. There are a number of one- (or two-) sentence paragraphs. These should be merged with other paragraphs. I believe I have addressed this issue through my copyedit—that also fixed the MoS errors. Take a look at the diff of my edit to learn some systematic errors; these included quotes in italics, mixing of BCE/CD and BC/AD (choose one), forced image size, use of a hyphen (-) instead of an emdash (—) for punctuation, and the odd capitalization. Under the performing section, this sentence in uncomprehensable: "Kathak dancer, Shovana Narayan explores Lucknow gharana of Kathak has several performances based on Krishna's life."
A comprehenisve and interesting article; if fixed to match the comments on the lead, the performing arts and the cite template it should pass GA. Arsenikk(talk)16:07, 11 October 2008 (UTC)reply
Removed "Kathak dancer, Shovana Narayan explores Lucknow gharana of Kathak has several performances based on Krishna's life." as UNDUE to the artist. --
Redtigerxyz (
talk)
04:23, 13 October 2008 (UTC)reply