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Reviewer: Epicgenius ( talk · contribs) 21:20, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
Full review to come.
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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Lead:
There are no shops in the hamlet, but there is an ancient churchyard with some surviving stonework from a medieval church, a listed village hall that is used for religious services and private events, and a short distance along the coast is an Iron Age dun, largely rebuilt in the early 20th century, which is a scheduled monument.- There are two things I would suggest, but they aren't required. I'd recommend splitting this into a new paragraph, and dividing the sentence into two.
More comments later. epicgenius ( talk) 21:20, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
since the early medieval period.- Is there a link to the "Early medieval period"?
Name
from that of its ruined medieval church, but the history of the church's dedication is not clear.- Not an issue, but I think the "Kirk" part of the name comes from the word for "church", if I remember correctly.
George Chalmers however, in his account of Scottish history Caledonia, indicates that it was named for the apostle St Andrew, the patron saint of Scotland,- Would it make sense to split this to a new paragraph?
apostle St Andrew- I suggest rewording this to prevent consecutive links, per Wikipedia:SEAOFBLUE
and R. C. Reid, a fellow of the Society of Antiquaries of Scotland, argued that the original name of the church must have been lost because the prefix 'Kirk' is not one that would have been used at the time when Ionian monks were active in the area.- I would suggest splitting the bit about Reid to its own sentence. Maybe combine it with the next sentence too.
Location
Climate
considerably higher than Kirkandrews which is around 10 metres (33 ft) above sea level- I suggest splitting this to another sentence; the rest of it seems to be discussing Dundrennan's location. Or maybe moving this bit to "Location" (which would then have to be renamed "Geography").
History
in the form of is a 1st-century BCE dun- typo
This structure, shows signs of reuse in the late first millennium- The comma may be unnecessary.
coastline to the north-west,
south west Scotland, etc. - The intercardinal directions should be consistently formatted. Either use hyphens, spaces, or nothing in between.
and another one some miles away- I suppose "one" would be unnecessary here, i.e. "and another some miles away"
brother to Ralph de Champaign, constable of Roxburgh Castle.- I think this can be rephrased or condensed somewhat, e.g. "brother to Roxburgh Castle's constable Ralph de Champaign". The reason I mention this is because of the use of two commas, which may seem to signify that "brother to Ralph de Champaign" is a parenthetical or clarifying phrase.
the earthworks of which stronghold survive- "Stronghold" would also be unnecessary because the word was previously mentioned in the previous phrase.
It passed to his son, also named Robert, and then to his daughter Margaret and her husband, Bernard de Rippelay, a Northumbrian nobleman- I would reword this too because the last two commas also may be interpreted as a clarifying phrase. E.g. "and her husband, a Northumbrian nobleman named Bernard de Rippelay".
and go on to explain that it previously been a centre of smuggling but that customs officers had seized all the village's boats and broken up the racket, leaving the inhabitants with no means of making an income- First, I would consider whether to make this its own sentence. Second, are you able to narrow down the period when this was a smuggling hub?
all in a distinctive and unusual style- any specific style?
include a folly known as the Toy Fort,[32] Corseyard Farm, a dairy built to resemble a large castle tower,[33] and within Kirkandrews itself a village hall known as Kirkandrews Kirk.[34]- Since this is a serial list with a comma within the list item, I would change the commas after "Toy Fort" and "castle tower" to semicolons.
More later. epicgenius ( talk) 15:51, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Kirkandrews today
The first building the road comes to is Kirkandrews Kirk- "the road comes to" is somewhat awkward in this context. Would it be better to say something like "the road approaches" or "the road passes"?
and since Lance Corporal Francis James Elms, who died in October 1918 during First World War, is buried there, the churchyard is registered as a Commonwealth War Grave.- Not a big issue, but "since" can mean one of two things here: "because of", or "from the time that". It may be good to change this to "because".
It is built on a rocky promontory, with inner and outer walls, it is the only known example in Galloway of this type of structure, which is more common in Argyll and the Outer Hebrides.- this is a run-on sentence. It could probably be split after "inner and outer walls", or the comma after that phrase can be turned into a semicolon.
The outer wall, roughly 2.7 metres (8.9 ft) thick, encloses an area of 39 metres (128 ft) by 20 metres (66 ft), with entrances to the north-east and south-east. The inner enclosure is approximately 18 metres (59 ft) by 11 metres (36 ft), and there are steps up to the top of the walls in the north east corner- there are inconsistencies in whether the intercardinal directions are spaced or hyphenated.
That's it for prose. I'll take a look at the refs next. epicgenius ( talk) 15:57, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
I didn't see significant issues here. The article seems to be focused on the main aspects of the topic, and neutrally presented. epicgenius ( talk) 16:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
Spot checks (optional):
Since a lot of the references are offline, and since this is intended to be lighter touch than FAC, I'm going to AGF on these references. But the online ones I checked are verifiable. epicgenius ( talk) 16:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
All of the above issues have been resolved, so I think this meets the Good Article criteria now. epicgenius ( talk) 16:34, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Epicgenius ( talk · contribs) 21:20, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
Full review to come.
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
---|
|
Overall: |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Lead:
There are no shops in the hamlet, but there is an ancient churchyard with some surviving stonework from a medieval church, a listed village hall that is used for religious services and private events, and a short distance along the coast is an Iron Age dun, largely rebuilt in the early 20th century, which is a scheduled monument.- There are two things I would suggest, but they aren't required. I'd recommend splitting this into a new paragraph, and dividing the sentence into two.
More comments later. epicgenius ( talk) 21:20, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
since the early medieval period.- Is there a link to the "Early medieval period"?
Name
from that of its ruined medieval church, but the history of the church's dedication is not clear.- Not an issue, but I think the "Kirk" part of the name comes from the word for "church", if I remember correctly.
George Chalmers however, in his account of Scottish history Caledonia, indicates that it was named for the apostle St Andrew, the patron saint of Scotland,- Would it make sense to split this to a new paragraph?
apostle St Andrew- I suggest rewording this to prevent consecutive links, per Wikipedia:SEAOFBLUE
and R. C. Reid, a fellow of the Society of Antiquaries of Scotland, argued that the original name of the church must have been lost because the prefix 'Kirk' is not one that would have been used at the time when Ionian monks were active in the area.- I would suggest splitting the bit about Reid to its own sentence. Maybe combine it with the next sentence too.
Location
Climate
considerably higher than Kirkandrews which is around 10 metres (33 ft) above sea level- I suggest splitting this to another sentence; the rest of it seems to be discussing Dundrennan's location. Or maybe moving this bit to "Location" (which would then have to be renamed "Geography").
History
in the form of is a 1st-century BCE dun- typo
This structure, shows signs of reuse in the late first millennium- The comma may be unnecessary.
coastline to the north-west,
south west Scotland, etc. - The intercardinal directions should be consistently formatted. Either use hyphens, spaces, or nothing in between.
and another one some miles away- I suppose "one" would be unnecessary here, i.e. "and another some miles away"
brother to Ralph de Champaign, constable of Roxburgh Castle.- I think this can be rephrased or condensed somewhat, e.g. "brother to Roxburgh Castle's constable Ralph de Champaign". The reason I mention this is because of the use of two commas, which may seem to signify that "brother to Ralph de Champaign" is a parenthetical or clarifying phrase.
the earthworks of which stronghold survive- "Stronghold" would also be unnecessary because the word was previously mentioned in the previous phrase.
It passed to his son, also named Robert, and then to his daughter Margaret and her husband, Bernard de Rippelay, a Northumbrian nobleman- I would reword this too because the last two commas also may be interpreted as a clarifying phrase. E.g. "and her husband, a Northumbrian nobleman named Bernard de Rippelay".
and go on to explain that it previously been a centre of smuggling but that customs officers had seized all the village's boats and broken up the racket, leaving the inhabitants with no means of making an income- First, I would consider whether to make this its own sentence. Second, are you able to narrow down the period when this was a smuggling hub?
all in a distinctive and unusual style- any specific style?
include a folly known as the Toy Fort,[32] Corseyard Farm, a dairy built to resemble a large castle tower,[33] and within Kirkandrews itself a village hall known as Kirkandrews Kirk.[34]- Since this is a serial list with a comma within the list item, I would change the commas after "Toy Fort" and "castle tower" to semicolons.
More later. epicgenius ( talk) 15:51, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Kirkandrews today
The first building the road comes to is Kirkandrews Kirk- "the road comes to" is somewhat awkward in this context. Would it be better to say something like "the road approaches" or "the road passes"?
and since Lance Corporal Francis James Elms, who died in October 1918 during First World War, is buried there, the churchyard is registered as a Commonwealth War Grave.- Not a big issue, but "since" can mean one of two things here: "because of", or "from the time that". It may be good to change this to "because".
It is built on a rocky promontory, with inner and outer walls, it is the only known example in Galloway of this type of structure, which is more common in Argyll and the Outer Hebrides.- this is a run-on sentence. It could probably be split after "inner and outer walls", or the comma after that phrase can be turned into a semicolon.
The outer wall, roughly 2.7 metres (8.9 ft) thick, encloses an area of 39 metres (128 ft) by 20 metres (66 ft), with entrances to the north-east and south-east. The inner enclosure is approximately 18 metres (59 ft) by 11 metres (36 ft), and there are steps up to the top of the walls in the north east corner- there are inconsistencies in whether the intercardinal directions are spaced or hyphenated.
That's it for prose. I'll take a look at the refs next. epicgenius ( talk) 15:57, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
I didn't see significant issues here. The article seems to be focused on the main aspects of the topic, and neutrally presented. epicgenius ( talk) 16:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
Spot checks (optional):
Since a lot of the references are offline, and since this is intended to be lighter touch than FAC, I'm going to AGF on these references. But the online ones I checked are verifiable. epicgenius ( talk) 16:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
All of the above issues have been resolved, so I think this meets the Good Article criteria now. epicgenius ( talk) 16:34, 14 August 2020 (UTC)