A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Lead
no concern - nice work.
History
"He ran the country's first pencil factory in Midtown East" - You mean it was the first pencil factory anywhere in the country, right? I suggest "In Midtown East, he ran the country's first pencil factory from..."
Design
"The serene courtyard garden" - Is this adjective necessary? If kept, I think it should be attributed to the writer of ref #2.
"Though, common to startups,[12] the building follows an open plan " - Awkward structure here. I suggest "The building follows an open plan common to startups,[12] ... to share, though there are alternative..."
Construction and opening
"The architect gave a public tour..." - I suggest using Sondresen's name here.
@
Argento Surfer, thanks! Addressed the above. Re: repeating the architect's name, I prefer to use the generalized term when the name isn't necessary—unless, of course, the issue is the ambiguity of the phrase "the architect", given the other designers involved. I don't think it would be, though. (I wouldn't expect the general reader to remember Sondresen as the architect several paragraphs later.) Anyway, added clarification. Appreciate the review, czar02:39, 14 April 2018 (UTC)reply
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Lead
no concern - nice work.
History
"He ran the country's first pencil factory in Midtown East" - You mean it was the first pencil factory anywhere in the country, right? I suggest "In Midtown East, he ran the country's first pencil factory from..."
Design
"The serene courtyard garden" - Is this adjective necessary? If kept, I think it should be attributed to the writer of ref #2.
"Though, common to startups,[12] the building follows an open plan " - Awkward structure here. I suggest "The building follows an open plan common to startups,[12] ... to share, though there are alternative..."
Construction and opening
"The architect gave a public tour..." - I suggest using Sondresen's name here.
@
Argento Surfer, thanks! Addressed the above. Re: repeating the architect's name, I prefer to use the generalized term when the name isn't necessary—unless, of course, the issue is the ambiguity of the phrase "the architect", given the other designers involved. I don't think it would be, though. (I wouldn't expect the general reader to remember Sondresen as the architect several paragraphs later.) Anyway, added clarification. Appreciate the review, czar02:39, 14 April 2018 (UTC)reply