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Hello, I will be reviewing this article. Check back soon for my full review! Good luck! CarpetCrawler ( talk) 08:07, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
I REALLY hate having to do this, because this article is nicely sourced, with an excellent summary and some very good information. However, I have a few concerns. They are as follows.
- "Her father was a West Coast scenester in the 1960s.[4]" You might want to wikify "scenester" as some people may not know who a scenester is.
- "She enrolled in at the Music Academy of the West in Santa Barbara, and studied Italian opera for a little while.[9]" Wikify "Music Academy of the West"
- The paragraph about her dating Travis McCoy is placed randomly in the "Early life" section. I'm pretty sure they weren't dating before she began her career. Maybe there's a better place to put that tidbit? The
- However, the biggest problem with the article is the prose. It's well-written, but there are some spelling errors, and a lot of grammar issues. The sentence structure in some places is confusing. Here are a few examples that I had found.
- The whole article could use a good copyeditor. There are some mistakes in grammar that I had noticed pointed out above, but I am not a true copyeditor. I suggest heading over to the Copyeditor section of the Peer Review page, and having someone over there take a closer look at the article. The users over there do a fantastic job closely scrutinizing articles.
- "After signing to Capitol Records, Katy Perry began recording for her official mainstream debut album, and establishing her image was one of the immediate concerns of her management." This needs a reference.
- "On June 12, 2008, Katy Perry appeared as herself on the daytime soap opera, The Young and the Restless, who poses for the cover of the fictional magazine, Restless Style." This also needs a citation, but you could just use the Cite Episode template for this one.
- "She later launched her first headlining tour, the Hello Katy Tour, in January 2008.[13]" Do you mean 2009?
- "Katy Perry was nominated in five categories at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, including Best New Artist and Best Female Video, but unfortunately she lost for Britney Spears.[19]" Change "unfortunately", as it is not NPOV.
Since there are many mistakes in this article, I unfortunately have to fail the article at this time. However, I feel that after you've had an editor or two copyedit the article, you would easily pass this GA review process the second time around. If you feel that I have incorrectly reviewed this article, then feel free to visit the Good Article Reassessment Page and voice your concerns. Good luck with the next review! CarpetCrawler ( talk) 01:29, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
Done -- Efe ( talk) 03:27, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
Watch
Hello, I will be reviewing this article. Check back soon for my full review! Good luck! CarpetCrawler ( talk) 08:07, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
I REALLY hate having to do this, because this article is nicely sourced, with an excellent summary and some very good information. However, I have a few concerns. They are as follows.
- "Her father was a West Coast scenester in the 1960s.[4]" You might want to wikify "scenester" as some people may not know who a scenester is.
- "She enrolled in at the Music Academy of the West in Santa Barbara, and studied Italian opera for a little while.[9]" Wikify "Music Academy of the West"
- The paragraph about her dating Travis McCoy is placed randomly in the "Early life" section. I'm pretty sure they weren't dating before she began her career. Maybe there's a better place to put that tidbit? The
- However, the biggest problem with the article is the prose. It's well-written, but there are some spelling errors, and a lot of grammar issues. The sentence structure in some places is confusing. Here are a few examples that I had found.
- The whole article could use a good copyeditor. There are some mistakes in grammar that I had noticed pointed out above, but I am not a true copyeditor. I suggest heading over to the Copyeditor section of the Peer Review page, and having someone over there take a closer look at the article. The users over there do a fantastic job closely scrutinizing articles.
- "After signing to Capitol Records, Katy Perry began recording for her official mainstream debut album, and establishing her image was one of the immediate concerns of her management." This needs a reference.
- "On June 12, 2008, Katy Perry appeared as herself on the daytime soap opera, The Young and the Restless, who poses for the cover of the fictional magazine, Restless Style." This also needs a citation, but you could just use the Cite Episode template for this one.
- "She later launched her first headlining tour, the Hello Katy Tour, in January 2008.[13]" Do you mean 2009?
- "Katy Perry was nominated in five categories at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, including Best New Artist and Best Female Video, but unfortunately she lost for Britney Spears.[19]" Change "unfortunately", as it is not NPOV.
Since there are many mistakes in this article, I unfortunately have to fail the article at this time. However, I feel that after you've had an editor or two copyedit the article, you would easily pass this GA review process the second time around. If you feel that I have incorrectly reviewed this article, then feel free to visit the Good Article Reassessment Page and voice your concerns. Good luck with the next review! CarpetCrawler ( talk) 01:29, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
Done -- Efe ( talk) 03:27, 6 March 2009 (UTC)