Karl Wilhelm von Dieskau, (9 August 1701 in Kontoppe, part of the Prussian Neumark–14 August 1777 in Berlin); just the date range is enough, no need of geographical details done
Link lieutenant general done
Why "a campaign in Hungary" is separately mentioned? done
Section 1;
Period of his father, (16727–1762) is unnecessary, it is out of context I left his dates in
a daughter of I struck out "a" but it changes the meaning. And the German was specific that she was a daughter, not the only daughter.
General Field Marshal? Is he a general or field marshal? Both of them are two different ranks, or it is a special case? Anyway, link whatever it is. fixed.
Section 2;
Dieskau entered the Prussian military -> Dieskau joined the Prussian military done
Link bombardier done
Comma (,) after "On 12 April 1727" done
he was raised to second lieutenant; I suggest "promoted" over "raised" done
Dieskau's military career modeled that of other Junker sons. military career modeled that of other Junker sons; recheck the use of punctuation removed
The context on Junkers is a bit out of context, cut it down removed
Section 2.1;
Not only were there not enough guns, but "also" their quality was poor done
This made the gun unreliable -> This made their guns unreliable done
Field Marshal Samuel von Schmettau done
What is "number artillery"? No. of units, the men, the guns or what? Make it clearer done
at which time the king had given him a magnificent tobacco pot -> and also the king had given him a magnificent tobacco pot at the same time done
Dieskau was appointed Lieutenant-Colonel -> Dieskau was promoted
lieutenant colonel on; it is a rank not a position, one gets promoted not appointed done
20 April 20 1755; check this done
and on 28 February 1757,[5] finally colonel ->
colonel on 28 February 1757
Link major general and lieutenant general done
3‐pound gun; check this correct done yes it is
Nothing about the Equestrian statue of Frederick the Great and Frederick the Great's vaunted artillery is mentioned in the prose. But it is in the lead, fix this. done
Karl Wilhelm von Dieskau, (9 August 1701 in Kontoppe, part of the Prussian Neumark–14 August 1777 in Berlin); just the date range is enough, no need of geographical details done
Link lieutenant general done
Why "a campaign in Hungary" is separately mentioned? done
Section 1;
Period of his father, (16727–1762) is unnecessary, it is out of context I left his dates in
a daughter of I struck out "a" but it changes the meaning. And the German was specific that she was a daughter, not the only daughter.
General Field Marshal? Is he a general or field marshal? Both of them are two different ranks, or it is a special case? Anyway, link whatever it is. fixed.
Section 2;
Dieskau entered the Prussian military -> Dieskau joined the Prussian military done
Link bombardier done
Comma (,) after "On 12 April 1727" done
he was raised to second lieutenant; I suggest "promoted" over "raised" done
Dieskau's military career modeled that of other Junker sons. military career modeled that of other Junker sons; recheck the use of punctuation removed
The context on Junkers is a bit out of context, cut it down removed
Section 2.1;
Not only were there not enough guns, but "also" their quality was poor done
This made the gun unreliable -> This made their guns unreliable done
Field Marshal Samuel von Schmettau done
What is "number artillery"? No. of units, the men, the guns or what? Make it clearer done
at which time the king had given him a magnificent tobacco pot -> and also the king had given him a magnificent tobacco pot at the same time done
Dieskau was appointed Lieutenant-Colonel -> Dieskau was promoted
lieutenant colonel on; it is a rank not a position, one gets promoted not appointed done
20 April 20 1755; check this done
and on 28 February 1757,[5] finally colonel ->
colonel on 28 February 1757
Link major general and lieutenant general done
3‐pound gun; check this correct done yes it is
Nothing about the Equestrian statue of Frederick the Great and Frederick the Great's vaunted artillery is mentioned in the prose. But it is in the lead, fix this. done