Petty, and won't hold up promotion, but pick use of the
serial comma, or not. Don't switch between. (see "when he became District Engineer of the Washington District, in charge of
Potomac River watershed, northwestern
Chesapeake Bay, and the
Washington, D.C., water supply." and, earlier "Panama Canal Zone, Guam and the Philippines")
"he
Panama Canal Zone in May 1910, after which he was posted to
Rock Island, Illinois, in May 1910," I see that both happened in May 1910. Is there a time frame for how long he was in Panama?
"The headquarters of the Mississippi River Commission moved from St Louis to Vicksburg, where it was located at the centre of the flood area but well above the level of the river. " is there a year for this?
"had commanding the Pacific Ports of Embarkation," perhaps you meant "had commanded the Pacific Ports of Embarkation," or "was commanding the Pacific Ports of Embarkation,"?
"While the logistical arrangements for D-Day proceeded well, although nobody congratulated Lee on the achievement." Also be careful here about editorializing. I am sure that somebody congratulated him somewhere. Also, it reads like a sentence fragment.
Sources do not need to be repeated in the same paragraph ( i.e. 17 in the first para of Retirement and honors, 17 in first para of post war career, and 4 in the third para of Early military engineer career.)
The book is reliable. It is by a reputable publisher, and I know where everything comes from. The Wikipedia was only used for the biography of Robert Ruark. See my review of the book in the Bugle.
Hawkeye7(discuss)02:53, 5 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Petty, and won't hold up promotion, but pick use of the
serial comma, or not. Don't switch between. (see "when he became District Engineer of the Washington District, in charge of
Potomac River watershed, northwestern
Chesapeake Bay, and the
Washington, D.C., water supply." and, earlier "Panama Canal Zone, Guam and the Philippines")
"he
Panama Canal Zone in May 1910, after which he was posted to
Rock Island, Illinois, in May 1910," I see that both happened in May 1910. Is there a time frame for how long he was in Panama?
"The headquarters of the Mississippi River Commission moved from St Louis to Vicksburg, where it was located at the centre of the flood area but well above the level of the river. " is there a year for this?
"had commanding the Pacific Ports of Embarkation," perhaps you meant "had commanded the Pacific Ports of Embarkation," or "was commanding the Pacific Ports of Embarkation,"?
"While the logistical arrangements for D-Day proceeded well, although nobody congratulated Lee on the achievement." Also be careful here about editorializing. I am sure that somebody congratulated him somewhere. Also, it reads like a sentence fragment.
Sources do not need to be repeated in the same paragraph ( i.e. 17 in the first para of Retirement and honors, 17 in first para of post war career, and 4 in the third para of Early military engineer career.)
The book is reliable. It is by a reputable publisher, and I know where everything comes from. The Wikipedia was only used for the biography of Robert Ruark. See my review of the book in the Bugle.
Hawkeye7(discuss)02:53, 5 May 2018 (UTC)reply