"He played in 35 games, starting 23, during his college career" - should be worded as He played in 35 games, and started 23 of them, during his college career Done
Early years
"He was named Second Team All-Northwest District his junior year and First Team All-Northwest District his senior year." - Here is an improvement Pughsley was named VSecond Team All-Northwest District in his junior year and later First Team All-Northwest District in his senior year Done
Merge the third and fourth paragraphs together to avoid having one sentence paragrphs. Done
College career
"In 2011, he played in the final two games of the year and made a start at left guard in the season finale." - The following year, Pughsley played in the final two games of the year and made a start at
left guard in the season finale. Done
"He played in 11 games, starting 10, in 2012." - reword to Pughsley played in 11 games, and started ten of those, in 2012 Done
"He was also one of eight recipients of the team's Harry "Doc" Smith Award," - He was also one of the eight participatns of the Akron Zips' Harry "Doc" Smith Award
"He played in 35 games, starting 23, during his college career." - should be worded as During his college career, he played in 35 games, and started 23 of them. Done
Professional career
NFLDraftScout.com and NFL.com must be italicized Done
Dallas Cowboys
"He reverted to injured reserve on May 28." - better to change this to He reverted to injured reserve six days later Done
Kansas City Chiefs
"He was released by the Chiefs on November 5, signed to the team's practice squad on November 10, released on November 15, signed to the practice squad on November 19, released on November 26, signed to the practice squad on November 29, released on December 6, signed to the practice squad on December 13, released on December 20 and signed to the practice squad on December 26." - either split up this sentence or shorten it
I'm not sure there is a way to shorten it. Splitting it up might make the sentences seem kind of repetitive like "He was released by the Chiefs on November 5 and signed to the team's practice squad on November 10. He was released on November 15 and signed to the practice squad on November 19." Thoughts?
WikiOriginal-9 (
talk)
17:22, 12 November 2017 (UTC)reply
"He was waived on September 1, 2017, during final roster cutdowns." - change this sentence to read Pugsley was waved during final roster cutdowns on September 1, 2017 Done
References
Citations 33, 34, 35 and 36 lack an access date. Please add them Done
"He played in 35 games, starting 23, during his college career" - should be worded as He played in 35 games, and started 23 of them, during his college career Done
Early years
"He was named Second Team All-Northwest District his junior year and First Team All-Northwest District his senior year." - Here is an improvement Pughsley was named VSecond Team All-Northwest District in his junior year and later First Team All-Northwest District in his senior year Done
Merge the third and fourth paragraphs together to avoid having one sentence paragrphs. Done
College career
"In 2011, he played in the final two games of the year and made a start at left guard in the season finale." - The following year, Pughsley played in the final two games of the year and made a start at
left guard in the season finale. Done
"He played in 11 games, starting 10, in 2012." - reword to Pughsley played in 11 games, and started ten of those, in 2012 Done
"He was also one of eight recipients of the team's Harry "Doc" Smith Award," - He was also one of the eight participatns of the Akron Zips' Harry "Doc" Smith Award
"He played in 35 games, starting 23, during his college career." - should be worded as During his college career, he played in 35 games, and started 23 of them. Done
Professional career
NFLDraftScout.com and NFL.com must be italicized Done
Dallas Cowboys
"He reverted to injured reserve on May 28." - better to change this to He reverted to injured reserve six days later Done
Kansas City Chiefs
"He was released by the Chiefs on November 5, signed to the team's practice squad on November 10, released on November 15, signed to the practice squad on November 19, released on November 26, signed to the practice squad on November 29, released on December 6, signed to the practice squad on December 13, released on December 20 and signed to the practice squad on December 26." - either split up this sentence or shorten it
I'm not sure there is a way to shorten it. Splitting it up might make the sentences seem kind of repetitive like "He was released by the Chiefs on November 5 and signed to the team's practice squad on November 10. He was released on November 15 and signed to the practice squad on November 19." Thoughts?
WikiOriginal-9 (
talk)
17:22, 12 November 2017 (UTC)reply
"He was waived on September 1, 2017, during final roster cutdowns." - change this sentence to read Pugsley was waved during final roster cutdowns on September 1, 2017 Done
References
Citations 33, 34, 35 and 36 lack an access date. Please add them Done