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Reviewer: Eewilson ( talk · contribs) 09:29, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
I'm picking this up for review and reading through it first, making minor (uncontroversial) punctuation corrections to avoid just listing them, and jotting down other notes. You don't need to ping
me here because I am watching this page. Please use bullet points when adding replies (easier for me to find), and please don't strike out text to signify you have finished. I prefer the done
and related templates. Will get back with you soon! —
Eewilson (
talk)
09:29, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
Her elder sister, Edith, known as "Betty" to her friends and family, had married the author Michael Sadleir in 1914. Sadleir was the only son of Sir Michael Ernest Sadler, the then Vice‑chancellor of the University of Leeds. In 1919, she studied general zoology as a research student at the Citadel Hill Laboratory of the Marine Biological Association, Plymouth. Her close friend, Annie Redman King, was a Ray Lankester investigator at the laboratory, researching enzymes of the reproductive organs of echinoderms. [a] In January 1922, while living with her parents in the vicarage at Huddersfield, she was appointed a research assistant in the botany department at the University of Leeds.In the paragraph which references Redman King (
where Redman King was warden), you could simply say, "where friend Annie Redman King was warden" or "where family friend Annie Redman King was warden" or something similar. Think on it.
She had met him after he had been appointed reader in mathematical analysis at the University of Leeds in 1926.That could perhaps come first, then the sentence about him following her to Cambridge, etc. Also, does the sudden death of Frank Ramsey matter in this context? Your call on that.
Jane Ingham died at Cambridge on 10 September 1982....How did she die? Of what? Are there additional details that could be used?
— Eewilson ( talk) 10:52, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
— Eewilson ( talk) 03:53, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
They married at Donhead St Andrew on 16 May 1890.Who married? This sentence directly follows one about her maternal grandparents, but I think it is about her parents.
I have more, but the internet is being weird so going to save before I lose this. — Eewilson ( talk) 14:06, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
She spent the war years in Princeton, New Jersey, with her two sons....Was Albert stuck in the US as well? I lost track.
Around 1922, Tupper‑Carey sat for a portrait by William Roberts...to
"shrieks of laughter" from the audienceis great stuff but needs to move outside of that location. It looks like the section "Leeds and postgraduate life" is ten years of her life, Leeds time mixed with other time. I suggest the following
In February 1930, Tupper‑Carey joined the Imperial Bureau of Plant and Crop Genetics as a translator and scientific officer.This looks like the official start of her career (unless she was doing paid work from 1928–1929 at Leeds, as I inquired about, above).
I'll wait to hear from you again unless I get another brainstorm. — Eewilson ( talk) 19:22, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
Jumping back to the lead for a moment. Per MOS:INTRO, the lead should be less technical, saving details for later in the article. Somewhere in the Wikipedia documentation I read that most people don't read past the lead, so it should be understandible to the vast majority of readers. With that said, I make the following suggestions:
Ingham and Priestley were the first to isolate cell walls from meristematic tissues in Vicia faba (broad beans). They fractionated the isolated walls, analysed the fractions and concluded that the meristematic cells had walls containing protein. She also studied the cork cambium in trees and water absorption at the endodermis in the growing points of plant roots.Probably replace here with non-technical words.
Take a look and see what you come up with then we'll look at it again. — Eewilson ( talk) 04:54, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
If you wish to use the tree and find it confusing, I'd be glad to make any changes if that would be easier. Just let me know.
I am looking forward to delving into the article updates today! Great work. — Eewilson ( talk) 17:02, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
Good evening or morning or whatever it is where you are! I fear I have led you astray and away from Summary style (I'm really bad about writing oh so many details.) This is looking very good. Three things for now. First, I'm wondering if her name should be used as "Ingham" throughout the article rather than "Tupper-Carey"? Currently, there seems to be a use of both. In the very beginning, obviousy giving her birth name makes sense, but going with what the MOS says as well as seeing some other articles and what they do, it seems likely that Ingham would be what should be used if that was the name she was known most by (other than in her academic writings). And when Albert is mentioned, he is called by given name. In the Publications section, rather than the mask for her name, it would then need to be the actual name on the publication since that would be different than Jane Ingham. I hope that made sense. I don't claim to be a good writer on talk pages. :) Second, good information on her siblings and I say keep the first names in the article, but likely too much with their full dates, marriages, etc., unless sister Betty stays relevant to the article. Stay focused on your subject — Jane Ingham, a clear summary of her life, why she is notable, and such. Third, in the lead, I'd take out the part in the first sentence about her parents (unless they are notable, but they don't have articles, so perhaps not) and go straight in the first sentence into "most notable for..." or similar wording. — Eewilson ( talk) 02:49, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
Good early morning here (6:30 am US Eastern)! Good stuff! Jumping right in.
I did a little bit of prose tweaking. The following remains with questions of relevance and others. I will use bold in the quote followed by my comments.
1. She was taught French by Marie Noémie Camille Maury and demonstrated an early aptitude for the language. In 1908, she won a preliminary degree in French...
. (I changed "In 1908" to "At the age of ten".)
Am I reading this correctly in that she was only ten years old at the time? Was that young, implying that she was a prodigy (not just an early aptitude) in foreign language? (Although "prodigy" would be POV unless you reference or quote a reliable source.) Was this test and preliminary degree normally given to older students? (That you could add.) Was she the first girl to receive such a thing? (And that.) I think, if available, this information could add to the reader's understanding of Ingham.
2. Ambiguity as well as questioning the relevance of the following parts in bold. You don't necessarily need to remove the latter, but if not, add something to let the reader know why this is relevant.
In the same year, 1919, she studied general zoology at the Citadel Hill Laboratory of the Marine Biological Association, Plymouth.
(I added the 1919 part here because I had removed it from the previous sentence for flow.)
That's fine, but next
She was working there with her close friend, Annie Redman King, née Peniston, who was investigating enzymes in echinoderms as a Ray Lankester investigator.
Does Redman King's maiden name matter here?
You may want to use a different word than "investigate" in one of those locations to avoid redundancy. E.g., "...who was studying enzymes...".
Redman King was warden of Weetwood Hall, the former University of Leeds hall of residence, from 1919 to 1948. She had gained her First Class Bachelor of Science Honours degree in botany in 1913 and became an assistant lecturer and demonstrator in the zoology department at the University of Leeds.
The "she" is ambiguous. Should "first class" and "honours" be capitalized
Furthermore, why the information about Redman King? Was she a childhood friend? Did she meet her at Leeds and they became a lifelong friends (Annie was at her very small wedding)? That's important. Within the part I quoted, I think you may be intending to introduce up what led Ingham to Leeds, Weetwood Hall, and to study a bit of general zoology at the Citadel Hill Laboratory of the Marine Biological Association, Plymouth. What I mean by that is that it looks like maybe she had become friends with Redman King at Leeds, or known her from childhood, followed her to Leeds and/or to become a sub-warden at Weetwood Hall, and then followed her to Citadel Hill Laboratory. Is that accurate? If so, that can be clarified, not necessarily using my words, but something to let the reader know why Redman King is important to Ingham's education and life.
More later. — Eewilson ( talk) 11:25, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
You are very welcome! I like the changes. I'm going to try to see if I can get the tree to squish a bit so it doesn't exceed the Wikipedia page width. Then I'll give Lead through Education one final read and move on to Career (again). — Eewilson ( talk) 15:30, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
Leeds
Priestley had accepted the chair of botany at Leeds University in 1911, in succession to Professor Vernon Herbert Blackman.Relevancy? You could just say he was the chair of the botany department, because her being assistant to the chair is a bigger deal than assistant to a "regular" professor. But when he became chair and why likely doesn't matter for this article.
She carried out a long series of investigations into the structure of cell walls that theorised when cellulose is first produced by plants.Does this sentence need restructuring? "She theorised ____ about the production of cellulose by plants and carried out a long series of investigations about this subject." Or something like that.
A grant from the John Innes Horticultural Research Institute at Merton Park, Surrey, helped fund some of her research into propagating plant material in the orchard, garden, and greenhouse facilities available at Weetwood Hall.Did she apply for the grand and receive it? Was it hard to get? Is this sentence (or maybe only part of it) relevant?
She and Priestley were the first to isolate cell walls from meristematic tissues in Vicia faba (broad beans). They fractionated the isolated walls, analysed the fractions for protein, cellulose, and pectin, and concluded that the meristematic cells had walls containing protein. They also studied the differences in shoot and root development, and the role of the cork cambium in plants.Just take a look at the structure of the paragraph as well as the points that need to be presented and see what would be best.
...at a degree ceremony held in Leeds Town Hall.Relevant? If not, remove that part of the sentence. I also think moving this sentence from the beginning of the second paragraph to the end of the first paragraph may make sense.
She was also a skilled microscopist, and when Reginald Dawson Preston, the biophysicist, joined the Botany Department in July 1929, she taught him how to cut and stain sections. She would use panchromatic plates, with colour screens, to photograph sections of cortical cells in etiolated broad beans, stained with Nile blue sulphate in glycerine.Did she self-teach this skill? Did she develop this method? Was her teaching it to Preston something that helped his career and work? Did she use this method during her research? Might work that in somewhere when talking about it. If she had an important impact on Preston, or if there is something published that he said about her, could use that. I think it is important not just to report facts but also to import the relevancy of facts. I can make a list of hundreds of thousands of things I have done in my life, but what effect did they have and which are "notable" and to whom? (I know. I'm writing too much.).
Cambridge
The bureau was housed in a few rooms at the Plant Breeding Institute, in the School of Agriculture, Downing Street, Cambridge.Relevancy? There may be. I am afraid being from the US and having never been to the UK, I cannot vouch for relevancy of locations. But as I read it, it seems "Plant Breeding Institute" and "Cambridge" may be relevant, that "School of Agriculture" is implied with "Plant Breeding Institute" (especially because it is Wikilinked), and "Downing Street" is not important, unless there was another Plant Breeding Institute with Cambridge on another street.
More later. — Eewilson ( talk) 19:08, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
I adore the changes you have made to those two sections (Education and Career)! (If adore isn't an appropriate emotion for Wikipedia GA reviews, then it should be.) It reads so well now. I think you are getting the gist. If you wish then to continue along this theme in the "Personal life" section, go ahead. I think it could use some of the same work. (I adore the blue quote box and the quote in it. Keep that for sure!)
Oh, I moved the photo of Tupper Carey back to the right side to avoid sandwiching the text in case of a smaller window ( MOS:SANDWICH).
— Eewilson ( talk) 05:57, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
You'll likely notice, but you have a Cite error showing up at the bottom of the References section. I don't want to get in there and clean it up because I know you are working right now, and I don't want to interrupt your edits.
— Eewilson ( talk) 06:10, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
I just noticed a pronoun issue in "Early life" in the paragraph about Ingham's father and Ingham's father's father (Tupper Carey). Read it over and sort it out, or sort me out if I'm the confused one.
Oh! I just remembered. When you mention that she was baptized, would you say that she was baptized Anglican and Wikilink it? (Unless it was another religion.) I think the clarification could be helpful.
I think removing the photo you did was fine either way. I have no opinion on that! — Eewilson ( talk) 07:33, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
Latest changes:
In the same year, she performed as Philaminte in the school's production of three scenes from Molière's Les Femmes Savantes.Great place to put that sentence. It works well.
— Eewilson ( talk) 09:00, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
I still haven't gotten my nap. :)
At first, the lack of pressure within these bridges resulted in the formation of callus-like tissue, and the cambial initials, by repeated division, come to resemble ray cells.Should it be "came"?
Xylem and phloem is eventually formed in the horizontal portion of the bridge with its tracheary elements extended in a horizontal direction.Should "is" be removed?
Frederic Wood, in Wood (1926), questioned their results and concluded that less than 0.001% of protein was found in the cell walls of the plants examined. Tripp, Moore & Rollins (1951), Dieckert & Snowden (1960), and King & Bayley (1963), found protein in the cells but were unable to rule out the possibility of cytoplasmic contamination.[42]Are you citing Wood (1926), Tripp, Moore & Rollins (1951), Dieckert & Snowden (1960), and King & Bayley (1963)? Or does your citation (currently number 42, Lamport, Derek Thomas Anthony (1965)) cite them? If you are citing them, they should be as normal inline citations with a number. If you are not and you just want to give information about the authors who questioned their results (the latter important), then determine what is relevant and prune accordingly. If you do give author names, it will need to include the typical "<nationality> <profession>" as in "British botanist" then full name, which may be a bit much, so see what you can come up with.
The nutation curvature of the hypocotyl was investigated and the number of cells in ten layers of cortex (outside and inside) in the curve was determined using microtome sectioning.A bit awkward to read.
Okay, take a look at those things when you can, and I'll check in later. — Eewilson ( talk) 19:01, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
Great job on the changes to Legacy! A few things I have seen and even modified today:
Questions/issues:
Alan Pars, godfather to their sons, later recommended Albert for an Admiralty post in America knowing that Ingham and the children were still there.can it be followed by another sentence that tells us how long they stayed in the US? If you have that information, that is. When did they return to Cambridge?
Minor things I did:
Don't worry if photos "run over" to another section. As much as we try, with different screen resolutions, browsers, font sizes, window widths, and all, we can really only see it on what we use. I did, however, use the Clear template at the end of the Legacy section so that all images would end before Publications begin.
Also, author-date citations such as (Grichard 2021) or Grichard, 2021, etc., are definitely used in scientific literature! However, they are now just deprecated on Wikipedia for the reasons stated.
I'm going to give it another full read tonight then I'll be getting in-depth into the sources. Save the best (hardest) for last. I will need to ask you to email me copies of the locked source documents. You can do that through Wikipedia. If it doesn't let you attach files, we'll go to regular email from there unless you object, in which case we can figure out another way. I probably won't have the brains to get into the references until tomorrow and doubt I'll finish them in one day.
Great job!
— Eewilson ( talk) 22:41, 6 October 2021 (UTC)
Good evening! I'm getting ready to start the reference review. Now that the prose is all cleaned up and likely stable, you may want to read the article from scratch, then decide if you want to make any adjustments to the lead based on what is in the article. I have a hint about that. When I read an article I am working on using my phone once in awhile, I see things that may be confusing or unclear (or even spelling or grammatical errors!) which I didn't notice before. It may help or not, but try that. More later! — Eewilson ( talk) 21:32, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
1. The following citation link takes me to a description of the archived baptism register but does not take me to the register.
2. Resolution in these three files is too low so that when I enlarge them, they are distorted enough to be unreadable:
3. "She was the third daughter of Helen Mary Tupper‑Carey (1864–1938), née Chapman, and Albert Darell (1866–1943)."
4. "Helen Mary was the eldest daughter of Reverend Horace Edward Chapman, a former rector of Donhead St Andrew, and Adelaide Maria, née Fletcher."
5. "Albert Darell Tupper-Carey graduated in 1888 with second class honours in modern history, and in the following year, he obtained a second class in theology. After training at Cuddesdon Theological College, he was ordained in 1890 and became curate of Leeds. In 1898, he was appointed head of Christ Church Mission, Poplar, London, and in 1901, he was appointed rector of St Margaret's Church, Lowestoft. In 1910, he was appointed canon residentiary of York, and in 1917, he became vicar of Huddersfield."
That's a start. Still quite a bit to go. — Eewilson ( talk) 23:23, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
Do you suppose that East Africa should, instead of being linked to today's East Africa, be linked to the historical British East Africa, which was the colony at the time? Eewilson ( talk) 01:58, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
Hello! Jumping right in to some thoughts. If two sources say the same thing, you don't need to use both of them for the facts you are citing. Choose the best one (e.g., for graduation information, perhaps choose a source from the university paper rather than the local newspaper). If two (three, etc.) citations at the end of a sentence cite different facts from a sentence, place the citation directly after the fact, even if it is in the middle of a sentence, and before you move on to the next fact. I'd like for you to go through these and sort them out before I get any deeper into the review (so I don't have to try to sort them out). Can you do this? Let me know if you have questions, or if I am not making sense. Eewilson ( talk) 20:23, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
Cite error: There are <ref group=lower-alpha>
tags or {{efn}}
templates on this page, but the references will not show without a {{reflist|group=lower-alpha}}
template or {{notelist}}
template (see the
help page).
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Reviewer: Eewilson ( talk · contribs) 09:29, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
I'm picking this up for review and reading through it first, making minor (uncontroversial) punctuation corrections to avoid just listing them, and jotting down other notes. You don't need to ping
me here because I am watching this page. Please use bullet points when adding replies (easier for me to find), and please don't strike out text to signify you have finished. I prefer the done
and related templates. Will get back with you soon! —
Eewilson (
talk)
09:29, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
Her elder sister, Edith, known as "Betty" to her friends and family, had married the author Michael Sadleir in 1914. Sadleir was the only son of Sir Michael Ernest Sadler, the then Vice‑chancellor of the University of Leeds. In 1919, she studied general zoology as a research student at the Citadel Hill Laboratory of the Marine Biological Association, Plymouth. Her close friend, Annie Redman King, was a Ray Lankester investigator at the laboratory, researching enzymes of the reproductive organs of echinoderms. [a] In January 1922, while living with her parents in the vicarage at Huddersfield, she was appointed a research assistant in the botany department at the University of Leeds.In the paragraph which references Redman King (
where Redman King was warden), you could simply say, "where friend Annie Redman King was warden" or "where family friend Annie Redman King was warden" or something similar. Think on it.
She had met him after he had been appointed reader in mathematical analysis at the University of Leeds in 1926.That could perhaps come first, then the sentence about him following her to Cambridge, etc. Also, does the sudden death of Frank Ramsey matter in this context? Your call on that.
Jane Ingham died at Cambridge on 10 September 1982....How did she die? Of what? Are there additional details that could be used?
— Eewilson ( talk) 10:52, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
— Eewilson ( talk) 03:53, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
They married at Donhead St Andrew on 16 May 1890.Who married? This sentence directly follows one about her maternal grandparents, but I think it is about her parents.
I have more, but the internet is being weird so going to save before I lose this. — Eewilson ( talk) 14:06, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
She spent the war years in Princeton, New Jersey, with her two sons....Was Albert stuck in the US as well? I lost track.
Around 1922, Tupper‑Carey sat for a portrait by William Roberts...to
"shrieks of laughter" from the audienceis great stuff but needs to move outside of that location. It looks like the section "Leeds and postgraduate life" is ten years of her life, Leeds time mixed with other time. I suggest the following
In February 1930, Tupper‑Carey joined the Imperial Bureau of Plant and Crop Genetics as a translator and scientific officer.This looks like the official start of her career (unless she was doing paid work from 1928–1929 at Leeds, as I inquired about, above).
I'll wait to hear from you again unless I get another brainstorm. — Eewilson ( talk) 19:22, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
Jumping back to the lead for a moment. Per MOS:INTRO, the lead should be less technical, saving details for later in the article. Somewhere in the Wikipedia documentation I read that most people don't read past the lead, so it should be understandible to the vast majority of readers. With that said, I make the following suggestions:
Ingham and Priestley were the first to isolate cell walls from meristematic tissues in Vicia faba (broad beans). They fractionated the isolated walls, analysed the fractions and concluded that the meristematic cells had walls containing protein. She also studied the cork cambium in trees and water absorption at the endodermis in the growing points of plant roots.Probably replace here with non-technical words.
Take a look and see what you come up with then we'll look at it again. — Eewilson ( talk) 04:54, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
If you wish to use the tree and find it confusing, I'd be glad to make any changes if that would be easier. Just let me know.
I am looking forward to delving into the article updates today! Great work. — Eewilson ( talk) 17:02, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
Good evening or morning or whatever it is where you are! I fear I have led you astray and away from Summary style (I'm really bad about writing oh so many details.) This is looking very good. Three things for now. First, I'm wondering if her name should be used as "Ingham" throughout the article rather than "Tupper-Carey"? Currently, there seems to be a use of both. In the very beginning, obviousy giving her birth name makes sense, but going with what the MOS says as well as seeing some other articles and what they do, it seems likely that Ingham would be what should be used if that was the name she was known most by (other than in her academic writings). And when Albert is mentioned, he is called by given name. In the Publications section, rather than the mask for her name, it would then need to be the actual name on the publication since that would be different than Jane Ingham. I hope that made sense. I don't claim to be a good writer on talk pages. :) Second, good information on her siblings and I say keep the first names in the article, but likely too much with their full dates, marriages, etc., unless sister Betty stays relevant to the article. Stay focused on your subject — Jane Ingham, a clear summary of her life, why she is notable, and such. Third, in the lead, I'd take out the part in the first sentence about her parents (unless they are notable, but they don't have articles, so perhaps not) and go straight in the first sentence into "most notable for..." or similar wording. — Eewilson ( talk) 02:49, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
Good early morning here (6:30 am US Eastern)! Good stuff! Jumping right in.
I did a little bit of prose tweaking. The following remains with questions of relevance and others. I will use bold in the quote followed by my comments.
1. She was taught French by Marie Noémie Camille Maury and demonstrated an early aptitude for the language. In 1908, she won a preliminary degree in French...
. (I changed "In 1908" to "At the age of ten".)
Am I reading this correctly in that she was only ten years old at the time? Was that young, implying that she was a prodigy (not just an early aptitude) in foreign language? (Although "prodigy" would be POV unless you reference or quote a reliable source.) Was this test and preliminary degree normally given to older students? (That you could add.) Was she the first girl to receive such a thing? (And that.) I think, if available, this information could add to the reader's understanding of Ingham.
2. Ambiguity as well as questioning the relevance of the following parts in bold. You don't necessarily need to remove the latter, but if not, add something to let the reader know why this is relevant.
In the same year, 1919, she studied general zoology at the Citadel Hill Laboratory of the Marine Biological Association, Plymouth.
(I added the 1919 part here because I had removed it from the previous sentence for flow.)
That's fine, but next
She was working there with her close friend, Annie Redman King, née Peniston, who was investigating enzymes in echinoderms as a Ray Lankester investigator.
Does Redman King's maiden name matter here?
You may want to use a different word than "investigate" in one of those locations to avoid redundancy. E.g., "...who was studying enzymes...".
Redman King was warden of Weetwood Hall, the former University of Leeds hall of residence, from 1919 to 1948. She had gained her First Class Bachelor of Science Honours degree in botany in 1913 and became an assistant lecturer and demonstrator in the zoology department at the University of Leeds.
The "she" is ambiguous. Should "first class" and "honours" be capitalized
Furthermore, why the information about Redman King? Was she a childhood friend? Did she meet her at Leeds and they became a lifelong friends (Annie was at her very small wedding)? That's important. Within the part I quoted, I think you may be intending to introduce up what led Ingham to Leeds, Weetwood Hall, and to study a bit of general zoology at the Citadel Hill Laboratory of the Marine Biological Association, Plymouth. What I mean by that is that it looks like maybe she had become friends with Redman King at Leeds, or known her from childhood, followed her to Leeds and/or to become a sub-warden at Weetwood Hall, and then followed her to Citadel Hill Laboratory. Is that accurate? If so, that can be clarified, not necessarily using my words, but something to let the reader know why Redman King is important to Ingham's education and life.
More later. — Eewilson ( talk) 11:25, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
You are very welcome! I like the changes. I'm going to try to see if I can get the tree to squish a bit so it doesn't exceed the Wikipedia page width. Then I'll give Lead through Education one final read and move on to Career (again). — Eewilson ( talk) 15:30, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
Leeds
Priestley had accepted the chair of botany at Leeds University in 1911, in succession to Professor Vernon Herbert Blackman.Relevancy? You could just say he was the chair of the botany department, because her being assistant to the chair is a bigger deal than assistant to a "regular" professor. But when he became chair and why likely doesn't matter for this article.
She carried out a long series of investigations into the structure of cell walls that theorised when cellulose is first produced by plants.Does this sentence need restructuring? "She theorised ____ about the production of cellulose by plants and carried out a long series of investigations about this subject." Or something like that.
A grant from the John Innes Horticultural Research Institute at Merton Park, Surrey, helped fund some of her research into propagating plant material in the orchard, garden, and greenhouse facilities available at Weetwood Hall.Did she apply for the grand and receive it? Was it hard to get? Is this sentence (or maybe only part of it) relevant?
She and Priestley were the first to isolate cell walls from meristematic tissues in Vicia faba (broad beans). They fractionated the isolated walls, analysed the fractions for protein, cellulose, and pectin, and concluded that the meristematic cells had walls containing protein. They also studied the differences in shoot and root development, and the role of the cork cambium in plants.Just take a look at the structure of the paragraph as well as the points that need to be presented and see what would be best.
...at a degree ceremony held in Leeds Town Hall.Relevant? If not, remove that part of the sentence. I also think moving this sentence from the beginning of the second paragraph to the end of the first paragraph may make sense.
She was also a skilled microscopist, and when Reginald Dawson Preston, the biophysicist, joined the Botany Department in July 1929, she taught him how to cut and stain sections. She would use panchromatic plates, with colour screens, to photograph sections of cortical cells in etiolated broad beans, stained with Nile blue sulphate in glycerine.Did she self-teach this skill? Did she develop this method? Was her teaching it to Preston something that helped his career and work? Did she use this method during her research? Might work that in somewhere when talking about it. If she had an important impact on Preston, or if there is something published that he said about her, could use that. I think it is important not just to report facts but also to import the relevancy of facts. I can make a list of hundreds of thousands of things I have done in my life, but what effect did they have and which are "notable" and to whom? (I know. I'm writing too much.).
Cambridge
The bureau was housed in a few rooms at the Plant Breeding Institute, in the School of Agriculture, Downing Street, Cambridge.Relevancy? There may be. I am afraid being from the US and having never been to the UK, I cannot vouch for relevancy of locations. But as I read it, it seems "Plant Breeding Institute" and "Cambridge" may be relevant, that "School of Agriculture" is implied with "Plant Breeding Institute" (especially because it is Wikilinked), and "Downing Street" is not important, unless there was another Plant Breeding Institute with Cambridge on another street.
More later. — Eewilson ( talk) 19:08, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
I adore the changes you have made to those two sections (Education and Career)! (If adore isn't an appropriate emotion for Wikipedia GA reviews, then it should be.) It reads so well now. I think you are getting the gist. If you wish then to continue along this theme in the "Personal life" section, go ahead. I think it could use some of the same work. (I adore the blue quote box and the quote in it. Keep that for sure!)
Oh, I moved the photo of Tupper Carey back to the right side to avoid sandwiching the text in case of a smaller window ( MOS:SANDWICH).
— Eewilson ( talk) 05:57, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
You'll likely notice, but you have a Cite error showing up at the bottom of the References section. I don't want to get in there and clean it up because I know you are working right now, and I don't want to interrupt your edits.
— Eewilson ( talk) 06:10, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
I just noticed a pronoun issue in "Early life" in the paragraph about Ingham's father and Ingham's father's father (Tupper Carey). Read it over and sort it out, or sort me out if I'm the confused one.
Oh! I just remembered. When you mention that she was baptized, would you say that she was baptized Anglican and Wikilink it? (Unless it was another religion.) I think the clarification could be helpful.
I think removing the photo you did was fine either way. I have no opinion on that! — Eewilson ( talk) 07:33, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
Latest changes:
In the same year, she performed as Philaminte in the school's production of three scenes from Molière's Les Femmes Savantes.Great place to put that sentence. It works well.
— Eewilson ( talk) 09:00, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
I still haven't gotten my nap. :)
At first, the lack of pressure within these bridges resulted in the formation of callus-like tissue, and the cambial initials, by repeated division, come to resemble ray cells.Should it be "came"?
Xylem and phloem is eventually formed in the horizontal portion of the bridge with its tracheary elements extended in a horizontal direction.Should "is" be removed?
Frederic Wood, in Wood (1926), questioned their results and concluded that less than 0.001% of protein was found in the cell walls of the plants examined. Tripp, Moore & Rollins (1951), Dieckert & Snowden (1960), and King & Bayley (1963), found protein in the cells but were unable to rule out the possibility of cytoplasmic contamination.[42]Are you citing Wood (1926), Tripp, Moore & Rollins (1951), Dieckert & Snowden (1960), and King & Bayley (1963)? Or does your citation (currently number 42, Lamport, Derek Thomas Anthony (1965)) cite them? If you are citing them, they should be as normal inline citations with a number. If you are not and you just want to give information about the authors who questioned their results (the latter important), then determine what is relevant and prune accordingly. If you do give author names, it will need to include the typical "<nationality> <profession>" as in "British botanist" then full name, which may be a bit much, so see what you can come up with.
The nutation curvature of the hypocotyl was investigated and the number of cells in ten layers of cortex (outside and inside) in the curve was determined using microtome sectioning.A bit awkward to read.
Okay, take a look at those things when you can, and I'll check in later. — Eewilson ( talk) 19:01, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
Great job on the changes to Legacy! A few things I have seen and even modified today:
Questions/issues:
Alan Pars, godfather to their sons, later recommended Albert for an Admiralty post in America knowing that Ingham and the children were still there.can it be followed by another sentence that tells us how long they stayed in the US? If you have that information, that is. When did they return to Cambridge?
Minor things I did:
Don't worry if photos "run over" to another section. As much as we try, with different screen resolutions, browsers, font sizes, window widths, and all, we can really only see it on what we use. I did, however, use the Clear template at the end of the Legacy section so that all images would end before Publications begin.
Also, author-date citations such as (Grichard 2021) or Grichard, 2021, etc., are definitely used in scientific literature! However, they are now just deprecated on Wikipedia for the reasons stated.
I'm going to give it another full read tonight then I'll be getting in-depth into the sources. Save the best (hardest) for last. I will need to ask you to email me copies of the locked source documents. You can do that through Wikipedia. If it doesn't let you attach files, we'll go to regular email from there unless you object, in which case we can figure out another way. I probably won't have the brains to get into the references until tomorrow and doubt I'll finish them in one day.
Great job!
— Eewilson ( talk) 22:41, 6 October 2021 (UTC)
Good evening! I'm getting ready to start the reference review. Now that the prose is all cleaned up and likely stable, you may want to read the article from scratch, then decide if you want to make any adjustments to the lead based on what is in the article. I have a hint about that. When I read an article I am working on using my phone once in awhile, I see things that may be confusing or unclear (or even spelling or grammatical errors!) which I didn't notice before. It may help or not, but try that. More later! — Eewilson ( talk) 21:32, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
1. The following citation link takes me to a description of the archived baptism register but does not take me to the register.
2. Resolution in these three files is too low so that when I enlarge them, they are distorted enough to be unreadable:
3. "She was the third daughter of Helen Mary Tupper‑Carey (1864–1938), née Chapman, and Albert Darell (1866–1943)."
4. "Helen Mary was the eldest daughter of Reverend Horace Edward Chapman, a former rector of Donhead St Andrew, and Adelaide Maria, née Fletcher."
5. "Albert Darell Tupper-Carey graduated in 1888 with second class honours in modern history, and in the following year, he obtained a second class in theology. After training at Cuddesdon Theological College, he was ordained in 1890 and became curate of Leeds. In 1898, he was appointed head of Christ Church Mission, Poplar, London, and in 1901, he was appointed rector of St Margaret's Church, Lowestoft. In 1910, he was appointed canon residentiary of York, and in 1917, he became vicar of Huddersfield."
That's a start. Still quite a bit to go. — Eewilson ( talk) 23:23, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
Do you suppose that East Africa should, instead of being linked to today's East Africa, be linked to the historical British East Africa, which was the colony at the time? Eewilson ( talk) 01:58, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
Hello! Jumping right in to some thoughts. If two sources say the same thing, you don't need to use both of them for the facts you are citing. Choose the best one (e.g., for graduation information, perhaps choose a source from the university paper rather than the local newspaper). If two (three, etc.) citations at the end of a sentence cite different facts from a sentence, place the citation directly after the fact, even if it is in the middle of a sentence, and before you move on to the next fact. I'd like for you to go through these and sort them out before I get any deeper into the review (so I don't have to try to sort them out). Can you do this? Let me know if you have questions, or if I am not making sense. Eewilson ( talk) 20:23, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
Cite error: There are <ref group=lower-alpha>
tags or {{efn}}
templates on this page, but the references will not show without a {{reflist|group=lower-alpha}}
template or {{notelist}}
template (see the
help page).