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I'm hoping to review this for GA in the next few days, but here are some pointers:
References need to be combined
Lead needs to be two paragraphs long
'After The War -> 'Post-War'
Also in the years directly following the war, the people of South Farms made Morris both the Justice of the Peace and a Selectman. Also is in the wrong place, should be after 'the people of South Farms'
Article name should just be 'James Morris' without his rank, as it obviously changed during his service.
'Later Life' is rather skimpy and more detail would be nice
'The Academy' -> 'Morrison Academy'
I also wouldn't start off with the rank of Major in the lead, as he wasn't always a Major in the army! Perhaps put it at the end of the first lead section, something like 'Morris achieved the rank of Major in the Continental Army'.
Thanks for the notes. I have done all of these except expand the Later Life section as I can find no more relevant information to include. --
Burnsie510 (
talk)
22:39, 17 June 2008 (UTC)reply
Excellent work! Well, the section says that During the "second war with Great Britain," at the age of 61, Morris was commissioned as a First Major of the Second Regiment of Volunteers in the State of Connecticut.[35]. Can you find anything out about what he did as a Major in that regiment, perhaps?
Skinny87 (
talk)
23:13, 17 June 2008 (UTC)reply
I checked that passage and that is literally all that is said about it. It is only included to explain why he was called Major James Morris in the book. I can find nothing else in any other source about this period in his life either. --
Burnsie510 (
talk)
00:16, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
This article's Good Article promotion has been put on hold. During review, some issues were discovered that can be resolved without a major re-write. This is how the article, as of June 18, 2008, compares against the
six good article criteria:
1. Well written?: Minor Fail
A few minor gramatical problems:
On January 3, 1781, Morris was freed as part of a prisoner exchange. - Does the citation say who he was exchanged for, even just a rank?
he received an unsolicited ensign's commission in the Connecticut militia, which he accepted. - If it was unsolicited, why did he receive it?
Specifically, Morris's company of light infantry provided support to the forlorn hope stealth force commanded by Colonel Alexander Hamilton. - From my knowledge of Napoleonic War practices, Folorn Hopes were rarely stealthy formations, considering what they were tasked with doing. 'Stealthy' should be removed.
It is at this point in Morris's life that he accepts that he would never realize his early dream of becoming a minister - Mixture of tenses - should be 'accepted'
2. Factually accurate?: Pass
All areas cited per pre-GA comments made by this reviewer
3. Broad in coverage?: Pass
Passes, considering the lack of material to be found on such a relatively obscure figure.
4. Neutral point of view?: Pass
Passes, no problems
5. Article stability? Pass
Passes, article is stable, no editwars
6. Images?: Pass
No problems here
Please address these matters soon and then leave a note here showing how they have been resolved. After 48 hours the article should be
reviewed again. If these issues are not addressed within 7 days, the article may be failed without further notice. Thank you for your work so far. Just fix these points, and the article can be passed to GA status.
Skinny87 (
talk)
16:50, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
Well Written Issues
Prisoner Exchaged: No information available as to whom James Morris was exchanged for.
Unsolicited Commission: "Within a few months, however, he received an unsolicited Ensign's commission in the Connecticut militia which he accepted on the advice of Dr. Bellamy." (Strong 1976, p. 14) only information available.
Forlorn Hope: "I then had the command of the first Company at the head of the column that supported the Forlorn Hope. Not a man was killed in the Forlorn Hope; they were so near the Fort before they were discovered that the Enemy overshot them and the whole firing fell upon the main body." (Keefer 1947, p. 25) I believe this qualifies as stealth, but could be persuaded.
My only real issue is that the way it is worded makes it sound like a tagline from a B-Movie, 'Folorn Hope Stealth Force' starring Chuck Norris! Perhaps omitting stealh force from where they are at present, and adding them at the end of the sentence as a note that it was a success due to its stealthy nature which surprised the British defenders. Solve this, I think, and it can be passed!
Skinny87 (
talk)
17:27, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
I hadn't considered that image and I think you are right (however, if he is available I do think Chuck Norris would be perfect to play the lead in James Morris: The Movie). As it is somewhat tangential to the topic anyway I simply removed the "stealth force" phrase. Thanks again. --
Burnsie510 (
talk)
21:24, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
I'm not suggesting this should be delisted or anything like it, but as a person with some experience of writing biography GAs, I have some suggestions that may help this article in future GA reassessments.
The article has quite a few paragraphs formed from one or two sentences that are only a line or so long. All of these should be expanded or merged to form longer, more reader friendly paragraphs.
"to live full time in Bethlehem and studying with Dr. Joseph Bellamy." - do you mean "and to study under Dr. Joseph"? This would make more sense grammatically.
"commanded this army in the Battle of Germantown, where the American forces were defeated a day late" - This seems to suggest they were defeated a day after the battle? This needs to be clarified.
"It is at this point in Morris's life that he" - "It was at this point" double check the use of tenses in the article to ensure they are correct.
Don't wikilink single years (i.e. 1790)
The later life and legacy sections are basically lists of things. You need to convert them to readable, coherent prose, probably in a single section, preferably with a greater level of detail, especially concerning his memoirs.
The quotations have no place in the article unless they are incorporated into the text concerning a specific issue. That is what
Wikiquote is for. Delete them from here and put them there.
The article is not bad and has the bare bones of a really nice piece. It does however need more work in my opinion. Regards--
Jackyd101 (
talk)
00:13, 19 June 2008 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of WikiProject United States, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of topics relating to the
United States of America on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the ongoing discussions.
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Connecticut, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Connecticut on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.ConnecticutWikipedia:WikiProject ConnecticutTemplate:WikiProject ConnecticutConnecticut articles
This article is within the scope of the Military history WikiProject. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project and see a
list of open tasks. To use this banner, please see the
full instructions.Military historyWikipedia:WikiProject Military historyTemplate:WikiProject Military historymilitary history articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
join the project and
contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
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education and
education-related topics on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.EducationWikipedia:WikiProject EducationTemplate:WikiProject Educationeducation articles
I'm hoping to review this for GA in the next few days, but here are some pointers:
References need to be combined
Lead needs to be two paragraphs long
'After The War -> 'Post-War'
Also in the years directly following the war, the people of South Farms made Morris both the Justice of the Peace and a Selectman. Also is in the wrong place, should be after 'the people of South Farms'
Article name should just be 'James Morris' without his rank, as it obviously changed during his service.
'Later Life' is rather skimpy and more detail would be nice
'The Academy' -> 'Morrison Academy'
I also wouldn't start off with the rank of Major in the lead, as he wasn't always a Major in the army! Perhaps put it at the end of the first lead section, something like 'Morris achieved the rank of Major in the Continental Army'.
Thanks for the notes. I have done all of these except expand the Later Life section as I can find no more relevant information to include. --
Burnsie510 (
talk)
22:39, 17 June 2008 (UTC)reply
Excellent work! Well, the section says that During the "second war with Great Britain," at the age of 61, Morris was commissioned as a First Major of the Second Regiment of Volunteers in the State of Connecticut.[35]. Can you find anything out about what he did as a Major in that regiment, perhaps?
Skinny87 (
talk)
23:13, 17 June 2008 (UTC)reply
I checked that passage and that is literally all that is said about it. It is only included to explain why he was called Major James Morris in the book. I can find nothing else in any other source about this period in his life either. --
Burnsie510 (
talk)
00:16, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
This article's Good Article promotion has been put on hold. During review, some issues were discovered that can be resolved without a major re-write. This is how the article, as of June 18, 2008, compares against the
six good article criteria:
1. Well written?: Minor Fail
A few minor gramatical problems:
On January 3, 1781, Morris was freed as part of a prisoner exchange. - Does the citation say who he was exchanged for, even just a rank?
he received an unsolicited ensign's commission in the Connecticut militia, which he accepted. - If it was unsolicited, why did he receive it?
Specifically, Morris's company of light infantry provided support to the forlorn hope stealth force commanded by Colonel Alexander Hamilton. - From my knowledge of Napoleonic War practices, Folorn Hopes were rarely stealthy formations, considering what they were tasked with doing. 'Stealthy' should be removed.
It is at this point in Morris's life that he accepts that he would never realize his early dream of becoming a minister - Mixture of tenses - should be 'accepted'
2. Factually accurate?: Pass
All areas cited per pre-GA comments made by this reviewer
3. Broad in coverage?: Pass
Passes, considering the lack of material to be found on such a relatively obscure figure.
4. Neutral point of view?: Pass
Passes, no problems
5. Article stability? Pass
Passes, article is stable, no editwars
6. Images?: Pass
No problems here
Please address these matters soon and then leave a note here showing how they have been resolved. After 48 hours the article should be
reviewed again. If these issues are not addressed within 7 days, the article may be failed without further notice. Thank you for your work so far. Just fix these points, and the article can be passed to GA status.
Skinny87 (
talk)
16:50, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
Well Written Issues
Prisoner Exchaged: No information available as to whom James Morris was exchanged for.
Unsolicited Commission: "Within a few months, however, he received an unsolicited Ensign's commission in the Connecticut militia which he accepted on the advice of Dr. Bellamy." (Strong 1976, p. 14) only information available.
Forlorn Hope: "I then had the command of the first Company at the head of the column that supported the Forlorn Hope. Not a man was killed in the Forlorn Hope; they were so near the Fort before they were discovered that the Enemy overshot them and the whole firing fell upon the main body." (Keefer 1947, p. 25) I believe this qualifies as stealth, but could be persuaded.
My only real issue is that the way it is worded makes it sound like a tagline from a B-Movie, 'Folorn Hope Stealth Force' starring Chuck Norris! Perhaps omitting stealh force from where they are at present, and adding them at the end of the sentence as a note that it was a success due to its stealthy nature which surprised the British defenders. Solve this, I think, and it can be passed!
Skinny87 (
talk)
17:27, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
I hadn't considered that image and I think you are right (however, if he is available I do think Chuck Norris would be perfect to play the lead in James Morris: The Movie). As it is somewhat tangential to the topic anyway I simply removed the "stealth force" phrase. Thanks again. --
Burnsie510 (
talk)
21:24, 18 June 2008 (UTC)reply
I'm not suggesting this should be delisted or anything like it, but as a person with some experience of writing biography GAs, I have some suggestions that may help this article in future GA reassessments.
The article has quite a few paragraphs formed from one or two sentences that are only a line or so long. All of these should be expanded or merged to form longer, more reader friendly paragraphs.
"to live full time in Bethlehem and studying with Dr. Joseph Bellamy." - do you mean "and to study under Dr. Joseph"? This would make more sense grammatically.
"commanded this army in the Battle of Germantown, where the American forces were defeated a day late" - This seems to suggest they were defeated a day after the battle? This needs to be clarified.
"It is at this point in Morris's life that he" - "It was at this point" double check the use of tenses in the article to ensure they are correct.
Don't wikilink single years (i.e. 1790)
The later life and legacy sections are basically lists of things. You need to convert them to readable, coherent prose, probably in a single section, preferably with a greater level of detail, especially concerning his memoirs.
The quotations have no place in the article unless they are incorporated into the text concerning a specific issue. That is what
Wikiquote is for. Delete them from here and put them there.
The article is not bad and has the bare bones of a really nice piece. It does however need more work in my opinion. Regards--
Jackyd101 (
talk)
00:13, 19 June 2008 (UTC)reply