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Kavyansh.Singh (
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04:38, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
Nominator:
ErnestKrause (
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00:35, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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{{TOC limit|2}}
, so even with 16 section, it doesn't look bulky. –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk)
17:55, 11 December 2021 (UTC)@ ErnestKrause – Would appreciate if you address these suggestion first (especially adding more academic work, which I think will take some time), then I'll continue with my section-wise review. – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 14:01, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Early life and education
at Belle Grove Plantation near→ "at Belle Grove plantation near" (fixed linking)
who grew up on a plantation— 'on' seems odd
Madison learned mathematics, geography, and— do we need to link math and geo?
was a leading member of the American Whig Society— our article calls it 'American Whig–Cliosophic Society'.
During his time in Princeton, his closest friend was— replace the second 'his' with Madison
Madison began to study law books on his own in 1773.— can remove 'on his own'
Madison asked Princeton friend— "he asked ..."
at his home Montpelier in Virginia— should remove 'Virginia'
American Revolution and Articles of Confederation
King George III— should pipe out 'King' from the link.
not only to freedom of religion, but also— remove the comma
closed-mindedness and unquestioning obedience to the authority of the state.— are the words 'closed-mindedness' and 'unquestioning obedience' directly taken from the source? Can they be rephrase to be more neutral/encyclopedic?
until his election as→ " until he was elected as"
independent nation, no longer under the Crown or British rule.— I feel that mentioning 'independent nation' and 'no longer under the Crown or British rule' is almost same. Can remove the latter.
amended by Committee— missing definite article
The country faced a difficult war→ "
becoming a legislative workhorse and a master of parliamentary coalition building— in which author's/historian's opinion?
Father of the Constitution
He was also profoundly concerned— remove 'profoundly'
and political theory, and— remove the comma
Enlightenment— why capitalized?
highly concerned Madison— Suggesting to remove 'highly'.
experiments by virtue of its size→ "experiments by
twenty-five years— can write it numerically as well (25); but all it needs is to be consistent.
and his desire to fight the proposal played a major role in motivating Madison to return to Congress in 1787.— Needs attribution as to who believed this.
1785 [[Mount Vernon Conference]]
→ "[[Mount Vernon Conference|1785 Mount Vernon Conference]]
"1786 Annapolis Convention— same as above, pipe 1786 inside the link.
he joined with Alexander Hamilton— "he joined with
After winning election— missing definite article
Madison ensured that George Washington— Either 'Washington' or 'General Washington', but not 'George Washington' (first-name was already mentioned before)
who was influential in the critical state of Pennsylvania— why was Pennsylvania a 'critical state'?
Before a quorum was reached— can link quorum (I'm not sure, but it may be a jargon for normal readers)
and present the Virginia Plan. The Virginia Plan was(emphasis mine) — repetitive
United States Senate and the United States House of Representatives→ "
U.S. Senate— U.S. v. United States (consistency needed)
Nonetheless, with the→ "
Though the Virginia Plan was an outline rather than a draft of a possible constitution, and though it was— repetition of 'though'
two hundred times— either '200 times' or 'two-hundred times' (but still, all the number needs is to be consistent throughout the article)
took the lead in the Convention ... he always comes— add a non-breaking space before the ellipsis
as an historical record→ "as
In Federalist No. 10— specify that it is an article
number of citizens... who— add a non-breaking space before the ellipsis
aggregate interest of the community" [58] Madison— missing a full-stop
was jettisoned— a complicated word here, can simplify
During the convention, Madison's Council of Revision was jettisoned, each state was given equal representation in the Senate, and the state legislatures, rather than the House of Representatives, were given the power to elect members of the Senate.→ "During the convention, Madison's Council of Revision was jettisoned and each state was given an equal representation in the Senate and the state legislatures rather than the House of Representatives, and were given the power to elect members of the Senate."
president of the United States— mentioning 'United States' seems extraneous.
insufficiently "disinterested"— try to prevent one-word-quote
Though Madison lost most of his battles over how to amend the Virginia Plan,— battles?
in the process he increasingly shifted— add a comma after 'process'
fellow Congressmen— lowercase 'C'
events deteriorated until the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War of 1775–83— 'American Revolutionary War' is linked again
of the lands between the Appalachian Mountains and the Mississippi River— 'Mississippi River' is linked again
In response, Alexander Hamilton and John Jay began— 'John Jay' is already linked before. Also, both Jay and Hamilton are already mantionned, we do not need the first name again
Federalist No. 10, Madison's first contribution— 'Federalist No. 10' is linked again
Madison states→ "He states"
Edmund Randolph and George Mason→ "
New York, the second-largest state and a bastion of anti-federalism, would likely not ratify it without Virginia, and Virginia's exclusion from the new government would disqualify George Washington from being the first president.— quite a few issues: (1) why would New York not rectify the Constitution without Virginia? (2) remove the comma after 'anti-federalism' (3) repetition of Virginia (4) we do not need the first name of Washington again (5) the reader doesn't know that Washington is going to the first president
made up their mind about how to vote→ "made up their mind
with Edmund Randolph— remove the first name
and Washington won the country's first [[United States presidential election|presidential election]].
→ and Washington won the country's [[1788–89 United States presidential election|first presidential election]].
as The Federalist Papers in the span of six months,— remove 'in span of'
In Federalist 10, Madison describes the dangers posed by factions, and argues— remove the comma
Congressman and party leader (1789–1801)
New York to resume→ "New York and resumed"
At the request of Washington→ "On Washington's request"
U.S. Senate— mentioning U.S. seems extraneous
allies of Patrick Henry— the first name is already mentioned before
for his own political career— remove own
the U.S. House of Representatives— can remove U.S.
and Henry recruited a strong challenger to Madison in the person of James Monroe.→ "and Henry recruited Monroe, a strong challenger to Madison."
prior to ratification— replace with 'before'
who looked to Madison— "who considered Madison"
1st Congress— "first Congress"
Alexander Hamilton— he first name is already mentioned before
congressional opponents→ "Congressional opponents"
the federal capital district of Washington, D.C.— "district of Washington, D.C." or "district of Columbia"? And is it is D.C., add a comma after it.
on the Potomac River— linked again
1st Congress— same as previously mentioned
the United States Bill of Rights— can remove United States
two hundred amendments→ "two-hundred amendments"
Constitution, but had— remove the comma
but passage of the→ "but the passage of the"
Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton, broadly— at this point, the reader already knows that he is Alexander Hamilton, and he was Secretary of the Treasury. Better write is as "Hamilton" or "Secretary Hamilton"
at the expense of the State's by— doesn't flow well
; after a period of consideration— can start a new sentence here
his own faction— remove 'own'
aristocratic monarchy— missing a definite article
into Democratic-Republican Party— should be de-linked and instead linked to its prior instance.
the 1792 United States presidential election— can remove United States
electoral vote margin— "electoral-vote margin"
without British manufactures— "without British manufacturers" (added 'r')
one Democratic-Republican wrote that— does any source tells who?
Adams's Cabinet members— lowercase 'C', and does the source tell which particular member(s)?
as the XYZ Affair took place→ "as the XYZ Affair
Republican editors— what does 'Republican' refer here? 'Republican' with 'R' capitalized is understood today as the Republican Party.
giving government the— missing a definite article
his Virginia Resolutions— already linked before
In 1799, after Patrick Henry announced— Remove the first name
Madison won election— missing a definite article
on its enumerated powers, and— remove the comma
Because Jefferson and Burr→ "As Jefferson ..."
Marriage and family
a 26-year-old widow, previously wife of John Todd→ "a 26-year-old widow
Aaron Burr— just Burr
in spring 1794— MOS:SEASON discourages the use of seasons to refer to particular period of the year.
traveled to Harewood, Virginia for— See MOS:GEOCOMMA
Madison enjoyed a strong relationship with his wife, and she became his political partnerand
Madison was an introspective individual who deeply relied on his wife,seem a bit too similar.
the First Lady of the United States— per MOS:JOBTITLE, lowercase. (also I wouldn't expect the reader to know that James Madison would be president, so they may be confused about the first lady mention, but not a big dea here.
role in the social affairs of the nation.— uncited?
Secretary of State (1801–1809)
as Secretary of State→ "as the secretary of state"
Gallatin did, however, convince→ "Gallatin, however, did convince"
ad settled as far west as the Mississippi River— 'Mississippi River' overlinked
only by Native Americans— remove 'only'
dispatched James Monroe→ sent Monroe
Monroe and ambassador— comma after 'Monroe'
Robert R. Livingston negotiated— overlinked
in exchange for $15 million— suggesting to use Template:inflation
Chesapeake–Leopard affair
totally banned— remove 'totally'
recruited James Monroe— remove the first name
Vice President George Clinton— oveelinked
At a height of only five feet, four inches (163 cm), and never weighing more than 100 pounds (45 kg), Madison became the most diminutive president. Madison was small in stature, had bright blue eyes, a strong demeanor, and was known to be humorous at small gatherings. Madison suffered from serious illnesses, nervousness, and was often exhausted after periods of stress. Madison often feared for the worst and was a hypochondriac. However, Madison was in good health, while he lived a long life, without the common maladies of his times.— all this belongs to 'personal life' section. (rename 'Marriage and family' to 'Personal life')
Will continue later with President James Madison! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 18:47, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
Presidency (1809–1817)
inaugurated President of the United States— see MOS:JOBTITLE, and remove "United States"
from his sometimes rival and sometimes friend, James Monroe,— 'from his sometimes rival and sometimes friend', I don't think this is necessary. De-link Monroe, and remove his first name.
Vice President George Clinton— de-link, remove first name
Madison's Cabinet was very weak.— according to whome? we need inline attribution
Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin— de-link, remove first name
not to fight Congress— fight?
as Secretary of State,
to be Secretary of State, etc. — de-capitalize, add definite article
Madison did most of the job of→ " Madison performed most of the job of"
and were largely unremarkable or incompetent.— according to whome? we need inline attribution
many Americans, Madison included,→ "many Americans including Madison"
ended in dismal failure.— remove dismal
in New York City— missing a definite article
British force captured Fort Niagara— see MOS:SOB
where the delegates asked for→ "where they asked for"
($109,121.79 for year 2020)— why italicized?
3 million acres of land— need conversion to km² as well
20 million acres of land— same as the previous comment for conversion
Wilkinson was cleared again— possibly rephrase
protection of a corrupt General— should be label him as "corrupt"? I'll say no.
With the support of Madison and Jefferson,— repetition
Ready for next set of edit comments when available. ErnestKrause ( talk) 16:19, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
Retirement, national leader, and elder statesman (1817–1836)
though the university was primarily Jefferson's initiative— un-needed, I think
The issue of greatest importance at this convention was apportionment.→ "Apportionment was the central issue at the convention."
this "straightening out"— who said this?
Jefferson criticizing Lafayette— our article calls him "Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette"
but even forged Jefferson's handwriting as well.— we have both 'even' and 'as well' here ...
writes that,→ "wrote that,"
Death
In a remarkable coincidence— it is remarkable, but I think we should let the reader decide it. I'll suggest to remove 'remarkable'
former presidents Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe had all died on the fourth of July.— this might confuse some that all three died the same day (same year) ...
His Last will and testament— why capitalized?
as well as $30,000 to his wife— suggesting to add Template:inflation
her own death— we have both 'her' and 'own'
Political and religious views
first stint— would "first term" be better?
The historian Gordon S. Wood— remove 'the'
"Slavery"
and he viewed the institution→ "and he viewed slavery"
During the revolutionary war— shouldn't 'R' be capitalized. I see it capitalized throughout the article.
Madison initially opposed the 20-year ban on ending the international slave trade, it is understood, and the following quote
"Twenty years will produce all the mischief that can be apprehended from the liberty to import slaves. So long a term will be more dishonorable to the National character than to say nothing about it in the Constitution."does not add anything significant.
"It ought to be considered ...;so great a majority of the Union."— the quote is long enough to justify a block-quote, but I doubt whether the quote is useful
in the United States House of Representatives→ "in the
of the Three-Fifths Compromise→ "of the Three-fifths Compromise"
Madison was president of the American Colonization Society, which founded the settlement of Liberia for former slaves.→ "Madison served as the president of the American Colonization Society, which founded the settlement of Liberia for former slaves."
Madison was unable to separate himself from the institution of domestic slavery.— according to whom?
Although Madison had championed a republican form of government,— championed is WP:POV
Madison's political views landed somewhere between John C. Calhoun's separation nullification and Daniel Webster's nationalism consolidation.:
Madison's political views→ "his political views"
between John C. Calhoun's— remove the first name.
a republican form of governmentv.
his advocacy of Republican government— A 'Republican' with a capital 'R' refers to the Republican Party. With a small 'r', it refers to the broader concept of Republic. Clarification is needed in both of these instances.
"all the humanity and kindness of consistent with their necessary subordination and work".— we'll need a citation immediately after a quote.
to Washington D.C.,
in Washington D.C— it should be "Washington, D.C."
to serve as President Jefferson's Secretary of State,— "to serve as the secretary of state of President Jefferson,"
Paul Jennings(various instances) — remove the first name
“garden-variety slaveholder"— fix the quote marks (“ to ")
Legacy
Historian J.C.A. Stagg— spacing?
as the fourth president of the United States,— "United States" seems exranous
... an overarching national order"— we'll need a citation immediately after a quote.
The historian Garry Wills— remove 'the'
wartime President— lowercase
unresolved...Although— A non-breaking space before the ellipsis, and a space after it.
Montpelier, his family's plantation— specify 'Madison'
including Madison County, Alabama and— MOS:GEOCOMMA after 'Alabama'
@ ErnestKrause – The above comments need clarification, then we'll be almost done! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 16:08, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
The slavery section, a sub-section no less, is the biggest section in the entire article, and whose topic is given much more coverage than even Madison's presidency or the War of 1812 -- issues that effected the fate of the entire nation far more than Madison's ownership of slaves. Recommend that this section be scaled down considerably. -- Gwillhickers ( talk) 19:02, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
– Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 08:36, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
""Securing the State": James— quote inside quote should take single quotation mark
Ketcham (1971), James Madison, pp. 509–15— inconsistent with other sfns
Wood, 2009, pp. 682–683.— sane as above
Banning 1995, pp. 7–9, 161, 165, 167, 228–31, 296–98, 326–27, 330–33, 345–46, 359–61, 371.— sane as above
Banning 1995, pp. 78–79.— sane as above
Once all these changes and the previously remaining changes are made, I'll take a look, make few minor changes, and I think we'll be good to pass this! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 08:01, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
Okay, I have now again read the article, and I think it is GA level. Significant changes have been made, and the article is improved. Congrats on the GA! As to further changes to attain FA level, I'll see what I can do. Thanks for your work! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 18:35, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer:
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk ·
contribs)
04:38, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
Nominator:
ErnestKrause (
talk ·
contribs) at
00:35, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
---|
|
Overall: |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
{{TOC limit|2}}
, so even with 16 section, it doesn't look bulky. –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk)
17:55, 11 December 2021 (UTC)@ ErnestKrause – Would appreciate if you address these suggestion first (especially adding more academic work, which I think will take some time), then I'll continue with my section-wise review. – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 14:01, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Early life and education
at Belle Grove Plantation near→ "at Belle Grove plantation near" (fixed linking)
who grew up on a plantation— 'on' seems odd
Madison learned mathematics, geography, and— do we need to link math and geo?
was a leading member of the American Whig Society— our article calls it 'American Whig–Cliosophic Society'.
During his time in Princeton, his closest friend was— replace the second 'his' with Madison
Madison began to study law books on his own in 1773.— can remove 'on his own'
Madison asked Princeton friend— "he asked ..."
at his home Montpelier in Virginia— should remove 'Virginia'
American Revolution and Articles of Confederation
King George III— should pipe out 'King' from the link.
not only to freedom of religion, but also— remove the comma
closed-mindedness and unquestioning obedience to the authority of the state.— are the words 'closed-mindedness' and 'unquestioning obedience' directly taken from the source? Can they be rephrase to be more neutral/encyclopedic?
until his election as→ " until he was elected as"
independent nation, no longer under the Crown or British rule.— I feel that mentioning 'independent nation' and 'no longer under the Crown or British rule' is almost same. Can remove the latter.
amended by Committee— missing definite article
The country faced a difficult war→ "
becoming a legislative workhorse and a master of parliamentary coalition building— in which author's/historian's opinion?
Father of the Constitution
He was also profoundly concerned— remove 'profoundly'
and political theory, and— remove the comma
Enlightenment— why capitalized?
highly concerned Madison— Suggesting to remove 'highly'.
experiments by virtue of its size→ "experiments by
twenty-five years— can write it numerically as well (25); but all it needs is to be consistent.
and his desire to fight the proposal played a major role in motivating Madison to return to Congress in 1787.— Needs attribution as to who believed this.
1785 [[Mount Vernon Conference]]
→ "[[Mount Vernon Conference|1785 Mount Vernon Conference]]
"1786 Annapolis Convention— same as above, pipe 1786 inside the link.
he joined with Alexander Hamilton— "he joined with
After winning election— missing definite article
Madison ensured that George Washington— Either 'Washington' or 'General Washington', but not 'George Washington' (first-name was already mentioned before)
who was influential in the critical state of Pennsylvania— why was Pennsylvania a 'critical state'?
Before a quorum was reached— can link quorum (I'm not sure, but it may be a jargon for normal readers)
and present the Virginia Plan. The Virginia Plan was(emphasis mine) — repetitive
United States Senate and the United States House of Representatives→ "
U.S. Senate— U.S. v. United States (consistency needed)
Nonetheless, with the→ "
Though the Virginia Plan was an outline rather than a draft of a possible constitution, and though it was— repetition of 'though'
two hundred times— either '200 times' or 'two-hundred times' (but still, all the number needs is to be consistent throughout the article)
took the lead in the Convention ... he always comes— add a non-breaking space before the ellipsis
as an historical record→ "as
In Federalist No. 10— specify that it is an article
number of citizens... who— add a non-breaking space before the ellipsis
aggregate interest of the community" [58] Madison— missing a full-stop
was jettisoned— a complicated word here, can simplify
During the convention, Madison's Council of Revision was jettisoned, each state was given equal representation in the Senate, and the state legislatures, rather than the House of Representatives, were given the power to elect members of the Senate.→ "During the convention, Madison's Council of Revision was jettisoned and each state was given an equal representation in the Senate and the state legislatures rather than the House of Representatives, and were given the power to elect members of the Senate."
president of the United States— mentioning 'United States' seems extraneous.
insufficiently "disinterested"— try to prevent one-word-quote
Though Madison lost most of his battles over how to amend the Virginia Plan,— battles?
in the process he increasingly shifted— add a comma after 'process'
fellow Congressmen— lowercase 'C'
events deteriorated until the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War of 1775–83— 'American Revolutionary War' is linked again
of the lands between the Appalachian Mountains and the Mississippi River— 'Mississippi River' is linked again
In response, Alexander Hamilton and John Jay began— 'John Jay' is already linked before. Also, both Jay and Hamilton are already mantionned, we do not need the first name again
Federalist No. 10, Madison's first contribution— 'Federalist No. 10' is linked again
Madison states→ "He states"
Edmund Randolph and George Mason→ "
New York, the second-largest state and a bastion of anti-federalism, would likely not ratify it without Virginia, and Virginia's exclusion from the new government would disqualify George Washington from being the first president.— quite a few issues: (1) why would New York not rectify the Constitution without Virginia? (2) remove the comma after 'anti-federalism' (3) repetition of Virginia (4) we do not need the first name of Washington again (5) the reader doesn't know that Washington is going to the first president
made up their mind about how to vote→ "made up their mind
with Edmund Randolph— remove the first name
and Washington won the country's first [[United States presidential election|presidential election]].
→ and Washington won the country's [[1788–89 United States presidential election|first presidential election]].
as The Federalist Papers in the span of six months,— remove 'in span of'
In Federalist 10, Madison describes the dangers posed by factions, and argues— remove the comma
Congressman and party leader (1789–1801)
New York to resume→ "New York and resumed"
At the request of Washington→ "On Washington's request"
U.S. Senate— mentioning U.S. seems extraneous
allies of Patrick Henry— the first name is already mentioned before
for his own political career— remove own
the U.S. House of Representatives— can remove U.S.
and Henry recruited a strong challenger to Madison in the person of James Monroe.→ "and Henry recruited Monroe, a strong challenger to Madison."
prior to ratification— replace with 'before'
who looked to Madison— "who considered Madison"
1st Congress— "first Congress"
Alexander Hamilton— he first name is already mentioned before
congressional opponents→ "Congressional opponents"
the federal capital district of Washington, D.C.— "district of Washington, D.C." or "district of Columbia"? And is it is D.C., add a comma after it.
on the Potomac River— linked again
1st Congress— same as previously mentioned
the United States Bill of Rights— can remove United States
two hundred amendments→ "two-hundred amendments"
Constitution, but had— remove the comma
but passage of the→ "but the passage of the"
Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton, broadly— at this point, the reader already knows that he is Alexander Hamilton, and he was Secretary of the Treasury. Better write is as "Hamilton" or "Secretary Hamilton"
at the expense of the State's by— doesn't flow well
; after a period of consideration— can start a new sentence here
his own faction— remove 'own'
aristocratic monarchy— missing a definite article
into Democratic-Republican Party— should be de-linked and instead linked to its prior instance.
the 1792 United States presidential election— can remove United States
electoral vote margin— "electoral-vote margin"
without British manufactures— "without British manufacturers" (added 'r')
one Democratic-Republican wrote that— does any source tells who?
Adams's Cabinet members— lowercase 'C', and does the source tell which particular member(s)?
as the XYZ Affair took place→ "as the XYZ Affair
Republican editors— what does 'Republican' refer here? 'Republican' with 'R' capitalized is understood today as the Republican Party.
giving government the— missing a definite article
his Virginia Resolutions— already linked before
In 1799, after Patrick Henry announced— Remove the first name
Madison won election— missing a definite article
on its enumerated powers, and— remove the comma
Because Jefferson and Burr→ "As Jefferson ..."
Marriage and family
a 26-year-old widow, previously wife of John Todd→ "a 26-year-old widow
Aaron Burr— just Burr
in spring 1794— MOS:SEASON discourages the use of seasons to refer to particular period of the year.
traveled to Harewood, Virginia for— See MOS:GEOCOMMA
Madison enjoyed a strong relationship with his wife, and she became his political partnerand
Madison was an introspective individual who deeply relied on his wife,seem a bit too similar.
the First Lady of the United States— per MOS:JOBTITLE, lowercase. (also I wouldn't expect the reader to know that James Madison would be president, so they may be confused about the first lady mention, but not a big dea here.
role in the social affairs of the nation.— uncited?
Secretary of State (1801–1809)
as Secretary of State→ "as the secretary of state"
Gallatin did, however, convince→ "Gallatin, however, did convince"
ad settled as far west as the Mississippi River— 'Mississippi River' overlinked
only by Native Americans— remove 'only'
dispatched James Monroe→ sent Monroe
Monroe and ambassador— comma after 'Monroe'
Robert R. Livingston negotiated— overlinked
in exchange for $15 million— suggesting to use Template:inflation
Chesapeake–Leopard affair
totally banned— remove 'totally'
recruited James Monroe— remove the first name
Vice President George Clinton— oveelinked
At a height of only five feet, four inches (163 cm), and never weighing more than 100 pounds (45 kg), Madison became the most diminutive president. Madison was small in stature, had bright blue eyes, a strong demeanor, and was known to be humorous at small gatherings. Madison suffered from serious illnesses, nervousness, and was often exhausted after periods of stress. Madison often feared for the worst and was a hypochondriac. However, Madison was in good health, while he lived a long life, without the common maladies of his times.— all this belongs to 'personal life' section. (rename 'Marriage and family' to 'Personal life')
Will continue later with President James Madison! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 18:47, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
Presidency (1809–1817)
inaugurated President of the United States— see MOS:JOBTITLE, and remove "United States"
from his sometimes rival and sometimes friend, James Monroe,— 'from his sometimes rival and sometimes friend', I don't think this is necessary. De-link Monroe, and remove his first name.
Vice President George Clinton— de-link, remove first name
Madison's Cabinet was very weak.— according to whome? we need inline attribution
Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin— de-link, remove first name
not to fight Congress— fight?
as Secretary of State,
to be Secretary of State, etc. — de-capitalize, add definite article
Madison did most of the job of→ " Madison performed most of the job of"
and were largely unremarkable or incompetent.— according to whome? we need inline attribution
many Americans, Madison included,→ "many Americans including Madison"
ended in dismal failure.— remove dismal
in New York City— missing a definite article
British force captured Fort Niagara— see MOS:SOB
where the delegates asked for→ "where they asked for"
($109,121.79 for year 2020)— why italicized?
3 million acres of land— need conversion to km² as well
20 million acres of land— same as the previous comment for conversion
Wilkinson was cleared again— possibly rephrase
protection of a corrupt General— should be label him as "corrupt"? I'll say no.
With the support of Madison and Jefferson,— repetition
Ready for next set of edit comments when available. ErnestKrause ( talk) 16:19, 18 December 2021 (UTC)
Retirement, national leader, and elder statesman (1817–1836)
though the university was primarily Jefferson's initiative— un-needed, I think
The issue of greatest importance at this convention was apportionment.→ "Apportionment was the central issue at the convention."
this "straightening out"— who said this?
Jefferson criticizing Lafayette— our article calls him "Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette"
but even forged Jefferson's handwriting as well.— we have both 'even' and 'as well' here ...
writes that,→ "wrote that,"
Death
In a remarkable coincidence— it is remarkable, but I think we should let the reader decide it. I'll suggest to remove 'remarkable'
former presidents Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe had all died on the fourth of July.— this might confuse some that all three died the same day (same year) ...
His Last will and testament— why capitalized?
as well as $30,000 to his wife— suggesting to add Template:inflation
her own death— we have both 'her' and 'own'
Political and religious views
first stint— would "first term" be better?
The historian Gordon S. Wood— remove 'the'
"Slavery"
and he viewed the institution→ "and he viewed slavery"
During the revolutionary war— shouldn't 'R' be capitalized. I see it capitalized throughout the article.
Madison initially opposed the 20-year ban on ending the international slave trade, it is understood, and the following quote
"Twenty years will produce all the mischief that can be apprehended from the liberty to import slaves. So long a term will be more dishonorable to the National character than to say nothing about it in the Constitution."does not add anything significant.
"It ought to be considered ...;so great a majority of the Union."— the quote is long enough to justify a block-quote, but I doubt whether the quote is useful
in the United States House of Representatives→ "in the
of the Three-Fifths Compromise→ "of the Three-fifths Compromise"
Madison was president of the American Colonization Society, which founded the settlement of Liberia for former slaves.→ "Madison served as the president of the American Colonization Society, which founded the settlement of Liberia for former slaves."
Madison was unable to separate himself from the institution of domestic slavery.— according to whom?
Although Madison had championed a republican form of government,— championed is WP:POV
Madison's political views landed somewhere between John C. Calhoun's separation nullification and Daniel Webster's nationalism consolidation.:
Madison's political views→ "his political views"
between John C. Calhoun's— remove the first name.
a republican form of governmentv.
his advocacy of Republican government— A 'Republican' with a capital 'R' refers to the Republican Party. With a small 'r', it refers to the broader concept of Republic. Clarification is needed in both of these instances.
"all the humanity and kindness of consistent with their necessary subordination and work".— we'll need a citation immediately after a quote.
to Washington D.C.,
in Washington D.C— it should be "Washington, D.C."
to serve as President Jefferson's Secretary of State,— "to serve as the secretary of state of President Jefferson,"
Paul Jennings(various instances) — remove the first name
“garden-variety slaveholder"— fix the quote marks (“ to ")
Legacy
Historian J.C.A. Stagg— spacing?
as the fourth president of the United States,— "United States" seems exranous
... an overarching national order"— we'll need a citation immediately after a quote.
The historian Garry Wills— remove 'the'
wartime President— lowercase
unresolved...Although— A non-breaking space before the ellipsis, and a space after it.
Montpelier, his family's plantation— specify 'Madison'
including Madison County, Alabama and— MOS:GEOCOMMA after 'Alabama'
@ ErnestKrause – The above comments need clarification, then we'll be almost done! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 16:08, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
The slavery section, a sub-section no less, is the biggest section in the entire article, and whose topic is given much more coverage than even Madison's presidency or the War of 1812 -- issues that effected the fate of the entire nation far more than Madison's ownership of slaves. Recommend that this section be scaled down considerably. -- Gwillhickers ( talk) 19:02, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
– Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 08:36, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
""Securing the State": James— quote inside quote should take single quotation mark
Ketcham (1971), James Madison, pp. 509–15— inconsistent with other sfns
Wood, 2009, pp. 682–683.— sane as above
Banning 1995, pp. 7–9, 161, 165, 167, 228–31, 296–98, 326–27, 330–33, 345–46, 359–61, 371.— sane as above
Banning 1995, pp. 78–79.— sane as above
Once all these changes and the previously remaining changes are made, I'll take a look, make few minor changes, and I think we'll be good to pass this! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 08:01, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
Okay, I have now again read the article, and I think it is GA level. Significant changes have been made, and the article is improved. Congrats on the GA! As to further changes to attain FA level, I'll see what I can do. Thanks for your work! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 18:35, 4 January 2022 (UTC)