Jaguar were approached by racing team owner Tom Walkinshaw and his company TWR in 1981 and encouraged to enter the Jaguar XJS into the European Touring Car Championship, they succeeded in winning the competition in 1984. Either split this or change the comma to a semi-colon.
I've had a look through and made a few changes. If there are any specific issues still troubling you I'll be happy to help address them.
EricCorbett20:03, 28 July 2013 (UTC)reply
In the first sentence of the conception para, they succeeded in winning the competition in 1984 is a complete independent sentence. Either split it out into its own sentence or link it as a related sentence with a semi-colon.
There's actually nothing wrong with that sentence as it stands, but as it's maybe a little too long to parse comfortably I've split it.
EricCorbett12:08, 29 July 2013 (UTC)reply
The relationship of this sentence to the previous one is not clear: The British Leyland/TWR V64V engine, designed for the MG Metro 6R4 was available for Jaguar to use and met the rules for Group C. Was it used by the XJR-10 and -11? If so then rephrase the two sentences to say that it was substituted for the Jaguar V12 after the rules changes.
Link valve, cylinder, differential, turbocharged, stroke, bore on first use
A lot of very short paragraphs. Can some of them be profitably consolidated?
This is pretty peripherally related to the XJ220: where it would be used from 1994 to 2004 for assembly of the Aston Martin DB7.[49] Jaguar and Aston Martin came under the control of the Ford Motor Company by 1994 and there would be a greater sharing of technology between Jaguar and Aston Martin. The first result of this was with the Aston Martin DB7, which was engineered by TWR and JaguarSport, based around the Jaguar XJS platform and designed by TWR Design Director Ian Callum, who would succeed Geoff Lawson as Jaguar's Design Director in 1999.
Sports Car Market is a monthly print magazine, for which we don't normally supply a publisher, just as we don't for a newspaper. I see the article is a little inconsistent in that respect though, so I'll remove all the publishers for printed newspapers and magazines.
EricCorbett12:08, 29 July 2013 (UTC)reply
Note #11 lacks author, publisher.
Standardize the treatment of Moreton. You have a full cite in addition to just author (date), page. Look through your refs for other issues of these types.--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk)
05:13, 29 July 2013 (UTC)reply
Jaguar were approached by racing team owner Tom Walkinshaw and his company TWR in 1981 and encouraged to enter the Jaguar XJS into the European Touring Car Championship, they succeeded in winning the competition in 1984. Either split this or change the comma to a semi-colon.
I've had a look through and made a few changes. If there are any specific issues still troubling you I'll be happy to help address them.
EricCorbett20:03, 28 July 2013 (UTC)reply
In the first sentence of the conception para, they succeeded in winning the competition in 1984 is a complete independent sentence. Either split it out into its own sentence or link it as a related sentence with a semi-colon.
There's actually nothing wrong with that sentence as it stands, but as it's maybe a little too long to parse comfortably I've split it.
EricCorbett12:08, 29 July 2013 (UTC)reply
The relationship of this sentence to the previous one is not clear: The British Leyland/TWR V64V engine, designed for the MG Metro 6R4 was available for Jaguar to use and met the rules for Group C. Was it used by the XJR-10 and -11? If so then rephrase the two sentences to say that it was substituted for the Jaguar V12 after the rules changes.
Link valve, cylinder, differential, turbocharged, stroke, bore on first use
A lot of very short paragraphs. Can some of them be profitably consolidated?
This is pretty peripherally related to the XJ220: where it would be used from 1994 to 2004 for assembly of the Aston Martin DB7.[49] Jaguar and Aston Martin came under the control of the Ford Motor Company by 1994 and there would be a greater sharing of technology between Jaguar and Aston Martin. The first result of this was with the Aston Martin DB7, which was engineered by TWR and JaguarSport, based around the Jaguar XJS platform and designed by TWR Design Director Ian Callum, who would succeed Geoff Lawson as Jaguar's Design Director in 1999.
Sports Car Market is a monthly print magazine, for which we don't normally supply a publisher, just as we don't for a newspaper. I see the article is a little inconsistent in that respect though, so I'll remove all the publishers for printed newspapers and magazines.
EricCorbett12:08, 29 July 2013 (UTC)reply
Note #11 lacks author, publisher.
Standardize the treatment of Moreton. You have a full cite in addition to just author (date), page. Look through your refs for other issues of these types.--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk)
05:13, 29 July 2013 (UTC)reply