With the caveats that I am not a native speaker and not a music expert I am happy to review this against the GA criteria as part of WikiProject Women in Green.
Edwininlondon (
talk)
13:36, 24 April 2021 (UTC)reply
This looks in pretty good shape and will not take long. Nice piece of work! Just a few comments:
It was a bit of a surprise to end up on Jade Bird (album) page from the link "self-titled debut studio album". It would be better to find a way to use Jade Bird in the sentence and use that as link label.
'a triumph' --> single quotes?
This was streamed on 29 May 2020. --> any chance of integrating this into the previous sentence?
separation of her parents, Bird comments --> I would break this very long sentence in 2 by replacing this , with an . I also question the use of the present tense here. Any specific reason?
the likes of --> is this the right tone for an encyclopedia?
Music Week states --> all previous comments were in past tense, why switch to present?
Rolling Stone described her vocals as "raw and robust" and describes --> same thing here, mix of past and present. Check rest of article as well.
Bird avoids the use of co-writers, commenting on the matter "[wanting] --> I'm not sure this works well. Perhaps something simpler like: Bird avoids the use of co-writers. She once explained that "[wanting]
in preview mode I get this error: Warning: Page using Template:Infobox musical artist with unknown parameter "background" (this message is shown only in preview).
With the caveats that I am not a native speaker and not a music expert I am happy to review this against the GA criteria as part of WikiProject Women in Green.
Edwininlondon (
talk)
13:36, 24 April 2021 (UTC)reply
This looks in pretty good shape and will not take long. Nice piece of work! Just a few comments:
It was a bit of a surprise to end up on Jade Bird (album) page from the link "self-titled debut studio album". It would be better to find a way to use Jade Bird in the sentence and use that as link label.
'a triumph' --> single quotes?
This was streamed on 29 May 2020. --> any chance of integrating this into the previous sentence?
separation of her parents, Bird comments --> I would break this very long sentence in 2 by replacing this , with an . I also question the use of the present tense here. Any specific reason?
the likes of --> is this the right tone for an encyclopedia?
Music Week states --> all previous comments were in past tense, why switch to present?
Rolling Stone described her vocals as "raw and robust" and describes --> same thing here, mix of past and present. Check rest of article as well.
Bird avoids the use of co-writers, commenting on the matter "[wanting] --> I'm not sure this works well. Perhaps something simpler like: Bird avoids the use of co-writers. She once explained that "[wanting]
in preview mode I get this error: Warning: Page using Template:Infobox musical artist with unknown parameter "background" (this message is shown only in preview).