From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 9 January 2020 and 23 May 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Jacobber19, Cm1823.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT ( talk) 22:49, 17 January 2022 (UTC) reply

Professor Feedback

I have some questions about the formatting here and am curious to know how you went about it. I agree with both peer reviewers, otherwise, and think that if you're able to develop the lead and sections as recommended, this would be strengthened.-- T. Danylevich ( talk) 15:45, 13 April 2020 (UTC) reply

Peer Review

I think your group did a really great job of focusing on the important information for this Wikipedia page. However, I would make some adjustments to the lead, which is the first paragraph. The first thing I notice on this page is that Iesha L. Evans is defined in terms of her age and relation to her child. Instead of having that as the first sentence, perhaps you could put information about what she is most known from. This information does not necessarily have to infringe upon what you wrote in the Baton Rouge section, but it should reference it since it seems to be important to understanding why she is important. Additionally, I would briefly expand upon what the protest was about and how it relates to her son's rights. Lastly, if you could expand upon the last comment about her being remembered inaccurately, I think it would help, especially if you address any criticisms she may have faced. KGFerrer ( talk) 21:38, 11 April 2020 (UTC) reply

Peer Review - Jay Deshmukh

I believe that you have a well written excerpt that chronicles, in detail, the journey of the individual and her accomplishments. If I were to make some amends, however, I would do the following: providing a background to the person (perhaps include upbringing, city of birth, education level, other positions held), any formal recognitions she has received, her personal life (including her spouse and any children she may have), any controversies surrounding her, her endorsements, and her lasting legacy (what she will be known as -- whether that be an "activist," or "protester."). I think including these aspects will paint the entire picture of the individual rather than just a moment in time. It will also help readers understand some intangible aspects to her persona, whether that be her upbringing, religion, or family status. I truly hold that this can be a very fruitful and detailed page if you are able to make these minor changes. -Jay Deshmukh — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jaydeshmukh14 ( talkcontribs) 03:28, 12 April 2020 (UTC) reply

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 9 January 2020 and 23 May 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Jacobber19, Cm1823.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT ( talk) 22:49, 17 January 2022 (UTC) reply

Professor Feedback

I have some questions about the formatting here and am curious to know how you went about it. I agree with both peer reviewers, otherwise, and think that if you're able to develop the lead and sections as recommended, this would be strengthened.-- T. Danylevich ( talk) 15:45, 13 April 2020 (UTC) reply

Peer Review

I think your group did a really great job of focusing on the important information for this Wikipedia page. However, I would make some adjustments to the lead, which is the first paragraph. The first thing I notice on this page is that Iesha L. Evans is defined in terms of her age and relation to her child. Instead of having that as the first sentence, perhaps you could put information about what she is most known from. This information does not necessarily have to infringe upon what you wrote in the Baton Rouge section, but it should reference it since it seems to be important to understanding why she is important. Additionally, I would briefly expand upon what the protest was about and how it relates to her son's rights. Lastly, if you could expand upon the last comment about her being remembered inaccurately, I think it would help, especially if you address any criticisms she may have faced. KGFerrer ( talk) 21:38, 11 April 2020 (UTC) reply

Peer Review - Jay Deshmukh

I believe that you have a well written excerpt that chronicles, in detail, the journey of the individual and her accomplishments. If I were to make some amends, however, I would do the following: providing a background to the person (perhaps include upbringing, city of birth, education level, other positions held), any formal recognitions she has received, her personal life (including her spouse and any children she may have), any controversies surrounding her, her endorsements, and her lasting legacy (what she will be known as -- whether that be an "activist," or "protester."). I think including these aspects will paint the entire picture of the individual rather than just a moment in time. It will also help readers understand some intangible aspects to her persona, whether that be her upbringing, religion, or family status. I truly hold that this can be a very fruitful and detailed page if you are able to make these minor changes. -Jay Deshmukh — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jaydeshmukh14 ( talkcontribs) 03:28, 12 April 2020 (UTC) reply


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