The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"Doja Cat" → "Amala Ratna Zandile Dlamini, known professionally as
Doja Cat" with the WL
Explain how "Mooo!" set the tone for her career
In the second sentence, was Amala part of the revival, or a separate thing?
"the general public began taking her seriously as a musician" → "her music generated attention beyond the form of Internet memes"
"Doja Cat told the Los Angeles Times"
"finishing up her next album as well as a nine-month concert tour" was she finishing up the tour or announcing it?
"In July 2019, Doja Cat first revealed the album's title and began sharing minor details about it in a number of other interviews from then on." → "Doja Cat revealed the album's title in July 2019, and began sharing minor details in subsequent interviews."
"She also has stated" → "She has also stated"
Switch the order of refs for the sentence ending "songwriting improved significantly"
Don't 100% agree with the first one as I've never seen anything like that in a non-BLP good article, or even any article at all. It also isn't very relevant to the article. Other than that, its all done!
HeyitsBentalk 18:02, 14 April 2021 (UTC)reply
Music and lyrics
* After "hip-hop", move [19] (the Clash review) to the front of that string of references
Was noted by whom for its versatility, etc? (probably music critics, right?)
As demonstrated by an abundant usage of salacious double-entendres and declaratives in addition to frequent pop-culture references, the record was described as a witty, irreverent, transgressive encapsulation of her abilities. Not neutral and also close paraphrasing.
"Complex" → "Joshua Espinoza of Complex"
""hefty dose of humor."" → ""hefty dose of humor"." per
MOS:LQ
A fully rap song in "Rules" follows, which Nerisha Penrose of Elle found to be influenced by Kendrick Lamar, with Doja Cat making statements such as "Said play with my pussy, but don't play my emotions". A bit hard to read.
""in her most serious form."" → ""in her most serious form"." per
MOS:LQ
""with a sultry pop diva croon."" → ""with a sultry pop diva croon"." per
MOS:LQ
Delink "Juicy" and Tyga, as they were already linked in the background section
There's still a [citation needed] tag next to "After the song was sent to US Rhythmic radio"
"messing with cops" → "pranking police officers"
"on the Billboard Bubbling Under Hot 100 chart"
"The album's fourth single, titled "Cyber Sex" was released on November 7, 2019 along with the release of the album, and the former's music video." → "The fourth single and music video, "Cyber Sex", were released on November 7, 2019, the same day as Hot Pink."
Comma after "social media platform TikTok"
"it jumped to a higher peak" need more specification
Didn't
Plini say he was going to sue her for using a sample of his music for the MTV Europe performance?
The current paragraphs are a little bulky
@
Kncny11: not sure I follow. I can't find any reliable sources about the whole Plini thing. Also are the paragraphs not supposed to be large?
versacespaceleave a message! 02:09, 13 April 2021 (UTC)reply
The number of times "Say So" is performed is supported by that paragraph as a whole. Does it count as
WP:OR if I simply counted how many times the song was mentioned in that exact paragraph? Also I added the Plini thing and cited it but I think it could be worded better.
HeyitsBentalk 18:16, 14 April 2021 (UTC)reply
Critical reception
* "based on 6 reviews" → "based on six reviews" per
MOS:NUMBERS
* "Hot Pink was released on November 7, 2019, a Thursday morning, often considered unconventional because Friday is traditionally Global Release Day." → "Hot Pink was released on Thursday, November 7, 2019. The decision was unconventional, as Friday is often
Global Release Day for new music."
I want to reduce the repetition of "week" in the third sentence, but I'm not sure how
the phrase "selling 37,000 album-equivalent units" still has a [cn] tag.
Replace colon with a period for the sentence ending "Class of 2020 program"
"... in the United States. "Say So" was..." → "... in the United States, while "Say So" was..."
Earwig score turns up a little high, but that's really just because the Consequence of Sound quote is so long.
Sorry for taking so long on this! Pfizer shot knocked me flat on my ass. Thank you for your patience. I'm going to put this review on hold so that changes can be made. Kncny11(shoot) 17:32, 12 April 2021 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"Doja Cat" → "Amala Ratna Zandile Dlamini, known professionally as
Doja Cat" with the WL
Explain how "Mooo!" set the tone for her career
In the second sentence, was Amala part of the revival, or a separate thing?
"the general public began taking her seriously as a musician" → "her music generated attention beyond the form of Internet memes"
"Doja Cat told the Los Angeles Times"
"finishing up her next album as well as a nine-month concert tour" was she finishing up the tour or announcing it?
"In July 2019, Doja Cat first revealed the album's title and began sharing minor details about it in a number of other interviews from then on." → "Doja Cat revealed the album's title in July 2019, and began sharing minor details in subsequent interviews."
"She also has stated" → "She has also stated"
Switch the order of refs for the sentence ending "songwriting improved significantly"
Don't 100% agree with the first one as I've never seen anything like that in a non-BLP good article, or even any article at all. It also isn't very relevant to the article. Other than that, its all done!
HeyitsBentalk 18:02, 14 April 2021 (UTC)reply
Music and lyrics
* After "hip-hop", move [19] (the Clash review) to the front of that string of references
Was noted by whom for its versatility, etc? (probably music critics, right?)
As demonstrated by an abundant usage of salacious double-entendres and declaratives in addition to frequent pop-culture references, the record was described as a witty, irreverent, transgressive encapsulation of her abilities. Not neutral and also close paraphrasing.
"Complex" → "Joshua Espinoza of Complex"
""hefty dose of humor."" → ""hefty dose of humor"." per
MOS:LQ
A fully rap song in "Rules" follows, which Nerisha Penrose of Elle found to be influenced by Kendrick Lamar, with Doja Cat making statements such as "Said play with my pussy, but don't play my emotions". A bit hard to read.
""in her most serious form."" → ""in her most serious form"." per
MOS:LQ
""with a sultry pop diva croon."" → ""with a sultry pop diva croon"." per
MOS:LQ
Delink "Juicy" and Tyga, as they were already linked in the background section
There's still a [citation needed] tag next to "After the song was sent to US Rhythmic radio"
"messing with cops" → "pranking police officers"
"on the Billboard Bubbling Under Hot 100 chart"
"The album's fourth single, titled "Cyber Sex" was released on November 7, 2019 along with the release of the album, and the former's music video." → "The fourth single and music video, "Cyber Sex", were released on November 7, 2019, the same day as Hot Pink."
Comma after "social media platform TikTok"
"it jumped to a higher peak" need more specification
Didn't
Plini say he was going to sue her for using a sample of his music for the MTV Europe performance?
The current paragraphs are a little bulky
@
Kncny11: not sure I follow. I can't find any reliable sources about the whole Plini thing. Also are the paragraphs not supposed to be large?
versacespaceleave a message! 02:09, 13 April 2021 (UTC)reply
The number of times "Say So" is performed is supported by that paragraph as a whole. Does it count as
WP:OR if I simply counted how many times the song was mentioned in that exact paragraph? Also I added the Plini thing and cited it but I think it could be worded better.
HeyitsBentalk 18:16, 14 April 2021 (UTC)reply
Critical reception
* "based on 6 reviews" → "based on six reviews" per
MOS:NUMBERS
* "Hot Pink was released on November 7, 2019, a Thursday morning, often considered unconventional because Friday is traditionally Global Release Day." → "Hot Pink was released on Thursday, November 7, 2019. The decision was unconventional, as Friday is often
Global Release Day for new music."
I want to reduce the repetition of "week" in the third sentence, but I'm not sure how
the phrase "selling 37,000 album-equivalent units" still has a [cn] tag.
Replace colon with a period for the sentence ending "Class of 2020 program"
"... in the United States. "Say So" was..." → "... in the United States, while "Say So" was..."
Earwig score turns up a little high, but that's really just because the Consequence of Sound quote is so long.
Sorry for taking so long on this! Pfizer shot knocked me flat on my ass. Thank you for your patience. I'm going to put this review on hold so that changes can be made. Kncny11(shoot) 17:32, 12 April 2021 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.