Thank you for reviewing! I'm not the nominator, but I will try to fix up some issues. I hope you don't mind, but I added a level three header to your prose comments beneath the check list to make editing just that section easier.
Liquidluck (
talk)
18:44, 23 October 2009 (UTC)reply
Usage of {{cite web}} and {{cite news}} templates are encouraged where the content is from web or webnews respectively. A large part of the dance section is unreferenced and hence fails
WP:NOR
similar to the "Macarena"[3] or the "Funky Chicken".[3] --> First of all a singular reference at the end of the line should do, and secondly include the date of release of the singles in brackets after the names.
The Macarena was released in 1995, but The Funky Chicken doesn't have a release date- it was just popular in the 1950's. Should the brackets be added for the Macarena at the risk of making the sentence appear asymmetric (for lack of a better word)?
Liquidluck (
talk)
18:44, 23 October 2009 (UTC)reply
The collaborators referred to the song by the working title "The Project" for a while before naming it the "Hoedown Throwdown". The filmmakers also nicknamed the song "Miley’s Macarena" --> The song was known as "The Project", as well as "Miley's Macarena" before Hoedown Throwdown was chosen as the official name for it.
#The whole first paragraph is unreferenced. And completely full of
fancruft.
We don't need a line by line connotation of how to do the HT. Also it doesnot have any source hence I assume that the process or the method of dancing didnot receive that much of third party notability. So it either should be trimmed to three lines or consider removing it altogether.
--Legolas(talk2me)05:43, 26 October 2009 (UTC)reply
Removed unsourced info on the first paragraph. --
Ipodnano05 (
talk) 00:07, 27 October 2009 (UTC
Throughout the evening, Cyrus and Simms broke down each dance move --> broke down?
Cyrus explained the dance requires --> Cyrus explained the dance required
Ann Donahue of Billboard says that by chance she found out "exactly how Cyrus' legion of preteen female fans is learning the dance: YouTube onscreen, phone to ear, someone on phone offering encouragement amid occasional peals of laughter." -->
WP:UNDUE
#The song received mediocre airplay due to it not being released for mainstream radio and only Radio Disney. --> source?
The then scaled to new --> ???
The song also peaked at number twenty-nine the canceled Pop 100 chart --> ???
In Canada, the song peaked at number fifteen for the week ending May 2, 2009 --> The week is not necessary.
Australian ARIA Singles Chart --> Doesnot mean anything. Its Australian Singles Chart only as discussed at
WP:CHARTS.
after three weeks of finding new peaks --> delete
New Zealand RIANZ Singels chart --> see above
"find new peaks for four weeks, until settling for " --> delete
IT entered the --> MoS
on the week ending May 7, 2009 debuted and peaked at number ten --> It debuted on the Irish Singles Chart at number ??? and peaked at number ten. --> Please keep these kind of lines as simple as possible.
#Remove the word promotional. You don't have to make it explicit.
The song's promotional music video, directed by Peter Chelsom, is an excerpt from Hannah Montana: The Movie that premiered on February 16, 2008 on Disney Channel --> not clear what is the word that referring to. Rephrase.
These are all I found at present. Very poor structure of the prose. The material here is fine but its teh prose that hinders its appeal. Concerned editor please clean it up and address my concerns within the future seven days. 09:45, 23 October 2009 (UTC)
Thank you for reviewing! I'm not the nominator, but I will try to fix up some issues. I hope you don't mind, but I added a level three header to your prose comments beneath the check list to make editing just that section easier.
Liquidluck (
talk)
18:44, 23 October 2009 (UTC)reply
Usage of {{cite web}} and {{cite news}} templates are encouraged where the content is from web or webnews respectively. A large part of the dance section is unreferenced and hence fails
WP:NOR
similar to the "Macarena"[3] or the "Funky Chicken".[3] --> First of all a singular reference at the end of the line should do, and secondly include the date of release of the singles in brackets after the names.
The Macarena was released in 1995, but The Funky Chicken doesn't have a release date- it was just popular in the 1950's. Should the brackets be added for the Macarena at the risk of making the sentence appear asymmetric (for lack of a better word)?
Liquidluck (
talk)
18:44, 23 October 2009 (UTC)reply
The collaborators referred to the song by the working title "The Project" for a while before naming it the "Hoedown Throwdown". The filmmakers also nicknamed the song "Miley’s Macarena" --> The song was known as "The Project", as well as "Miley's Macarena" before Hoedown Throwdown was chosen as the official name for it.
#The whole first paragraph is unreferenced. And completely full of
fancruft.
We don't need a line by line connotation of how to do the HT. Also it doesnot have any source hence I assume that the process or the method of dancing didnot receive that much of third party notability. So it either should be trimmed to three lines or consider removing it altogether.
--Legolas(talk2me)05:43, 26 October 2009 (UTC)reply
Removed unsourced info on the first paragraph. --
Ipodnano05 (
talk) 00:07, 27 October 2009 (UTC
Throughout the evening, Cyrus and Simms broke down each dance move --> broke down?
Cyrus explained the dance requires --> Cyrus explained the dance required
Ann Donahue of Billboard says that by chance she found out "exactly how Cyrus' legion of preteen female fans is learning the dance: YouTube onscreen, phone to ear, someone on phone offering encouragement amid occasional peals of laughter." -->
WP:UNDUE
#The song received mediocre airplay due to it not being released for mainstream radio and only Radio Disney. --> source?
The then scaled to new --> ???
The song also peaked at number twenty-nine the canceled Pop 100 chart --> ???
In Canada, the song peaked at number fifteen for the week ending May 2, 2009 --> The week is not necessary.
Australian ARIA Singles Chart --> Doesnot mean anything. Its Australian Singles Chart only as discussed at
WP:CHARTS.
after three weeks of finding new peaks --> delete
New Zealand RIANZ Singels chart --> see above
"find new peaks for four weeks, until settling for " --> delete
IT entered the --> MoS
on the week ending May 7, 2009 debuted and peaked at number ten --> It debuted on the Irish Singles Chart at number ??? and peaked at number ten. --> Please keep these kind of lines as simple as possible.
#Remove the word promotional. You don't have to make it explicit.
The song's promotional music video, directed by Peter Chelsom, is an excerpt from Hannah Montana: The Movie that premiered on February 16, 2008 on Disney Channel --> not clear what is the word that referring to. Rephrase.
These are all I found at present. Very poor structure of the prose. The material here is fine but its teh prose that hinders its appeal. Concerned editor please clean it up and address my concerns within the future seven days. 09:45, 23 October 2009 (UTC)