Hello! I'll be reviewing this article to help reduce the good article nomination backlog and to gain points in the
WP:WIKICUP. Although quid pro quo is not required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of articles in need of review
here. — GhostRiver17:48, 15 March 2022 (UTC)reply
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
Infobox and lede
I'd rephrase the first paragarph so that it's "... was an American baseball executive. When she inherited the St. Louis Cardinals of the National League in 1911, she became the first woman to own a Major League Baseball franchise."
"Britton's father and uncle, Stanley Robison," → "Frank Robison and his brother Stanley" or some other such change to avoid the awkward syntax where it sounds like her father and uncle are the same person (in this case Stanley)
It also doesn't directly specify in the newspaper article that Uncle Stanley took over the Cardinals upon his brother's death, only that Frank resigned the presidency in 1906 and Stanley is "currently" president
I took out "became the sole owner" as it's not explicitly in sources. Frank resigned the team presidency in 1906 and Stanley succeeded him as team president, but they both remained co-owners until Frank's death
"while leaving Britton's mother the other one-fourth" → "while the other one-fourth went to Britton's mother"
Done
The whole part about the "original will" doesn't specify what the source does, that this is a purported original will and testament
Added "purported"
owner meetings where other owners any way to rephrase to reduce repetition?
Removed the first "owner"
Throughout this section,
MOS:LARGENUM should be followed, rounding these "current dollar terms"
Done
1914-1917
See above about the numbers
Done
""squandered her means to such an extent that her property was imperiled."" → ""squandered her means to such an extent that her property was imperiled"." per
MOS:LQ
Done
"Britton became ready" → "Britton was willing"
Done
"The conditions at Robison Field had deteriorated"
Done
Later life
See
MOS:SEAOFBLUE above for "Philadelphia, Pennsylvania"
Done. For Boston MA too.
Mention that she died of an illness as per NYT source
Done
References
Good
General comments
Images are all public domain and obviously relevant
Per
MOS:CAPTION, the last image should not have a period at the end of the caption, as it's a sentence fragment
Putting on hold for now. As always, please feel free to ping me if you have any questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver20:00, 20 March 2022 (UTC)reply
Muboshgu Sorry for the wait. Bipolar is a pain in the ass. I'm passing this now, as the one quibble I have doesn't really affect GA. While saying the NL "eliminated" the Spiders is consistent with the source, I think the phrasing is awkward for those unfamiliar with that era of MLB, and wouldn't mind the clarification that they were demoted to the minors (albeit with another source). Like I said, does not imminently affect anything as it's coherent with the source, but something to consider. In any case, passing now! — GhostRiver20:34, 1 April 2022 (UTC)reply
Hello! I'll be reviewing this article to help reduce the good article nomination backlog and to gain points in the
WP:WIKICUP. Although quid pro quo is not required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of articles in need of review
here. — GhostRiver17:48, 15 March 2022 (UTC)reply
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
Infobox and lede
I'd rephrase the first paragarph so that it's "... was an American baseball executive. When she inherited the St. Louis Cardinals of the National League in 1911, she became the first woman to own a Major League Baseball franchise."
"Britton's father and uncle, Stanley Robison," → "Frank Robison and his brother Stanley" or some other such change to avoid the awkward syntax where it sounds like her father and uncle are the same person (in this case Stanley)
It also doesn't directly specify in the newspaper article that Uncle Stanley took over the Cardinals upon his brother's death, only that Frank resigned the presidency in 1906 and Stanley is "currently" president
I took out "became the sole owner" as it's not explicitly in sources. Frank resigned the team presidency in 1906 and Stanley succeeded him as team president, but they both remained co-owners until Frank's death
"while leaving Britton's mother the other one-fourth" → "while the other one-fourth went to Britton's mother"
Done
The whole part about the "original will" doesn't specify what the source does, that this is a purported original will and testament
Added "purported"
owner meetings where other owners any way to rephrase to reduce repetition?
Removed the first "owner"
Throughout this section,
MOS:LARGENUM should be followed, rounding these "current dollar terms"
Done
1914-1917
See above about the numbers
Done
""squandered her means to such an extent that her property was imperiled."" → ""squandered her means to such an extent that her property was imperiled"." per
MOS:LQ
Done
"Britton became ready" → "Britton was willing"
Done
"The conditions at Robison Field had deteriorated"
Done
Later life
See
MOS:SEAOFBLUE above for "Philadelphia, Pennsylvania"
Done. For Boston MA too.
Mention that she died of an illness as per NYT source
Done
References
Good
General comments
Images are all public domain and obviously relevant
Per
MOS:CAPTION, the last image should not have a period at the end of the caption, as it's a sentence fragment
Putting on hold for now. As always, please feel free to ping me if you have any questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver20:00, 20 March 2022 (UTC)reply
Muboshgu Sorry for the wait. Bipolar is a pain in the ass. I'm passing this now, as the one quibble I have doesn't really affect GA. While saying the NL "eliminated" the Spiders is consistent with the source, I think the phrasing is awkward for those unfamiliar with that era of MLB, and wouldn't mind the clarification that they were demoted to the minors (albeit with another source). Like I said, does not imminently affect anything as it's coherent with the source, but something to consider. In any case, passing now! — GhostRiver20:34, 1 April 2022 (UTC)reply