A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
I am having some difficulty reading through the article's prose, am thinking some of it might be the phrasing - am going to give this another proofing-run to see if I can set it out a little better for the nominator.
Shearonink (
talk)
04:02, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
Hi
Shearonink, thanks for taking this on. Just letting you know I'm here if you want to discuss problems with the article. You mention prose, I'd be happy to have a look at examples.
Nortonius (
talk)
10:43, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
@
Nortonius: This morning (after some sleep) I re-read it a few times and in general I think the prose is fine - a little sleep does wonders for comprehension. There are a few minor issues in the "The bellfounders" section:
but he noted that Thomas was recorded as a churchwarden this should probably be but he noted that a Thomas Hatch was recorded as a churchwarden
A bell cast in 1602 for the church at Waltham, Kent, bears Thomas Hatch's foundry stamp of a bell on a shield with the letters "T" and "H" on either side. But it also bears the legend Iosephvs Hatch Me Fecit, or "Joseph Hatch made me", in reference to Thomas Hatch's son Joseph.
Using 'But" to begin a sentence (despite what some have been taught) is perfectly fine grammatically, but I think the sentences flow a little better without that full stop of a period coupled with "But". Perhaps the sentences could be adjusted to something along the lines of:
A bell cast in 1602 for the church at Waltham, Kent, bears Thomas Hatch's foundry stamp of a bell on a shield with the letters "T" and "H" on either side, but the bell [making it clear that the sentence's subordinate clause is referring to the bell and not the inscription] also bears the legend Iosephvs Hatch Me Fecit, or "Joseph Hatch made me", in reference to Thomas Hatch's son Joseph.
or maybe
A bell cast in 1602 for the Waltham, Kent, church bears two inscriptions - Thomas Hatch's foundry stamp of a bell on a shield with the letters "T" and "H" on either side plus the legend Iosephvs Hatch Me Fecit or "Joseph Hatch made me", in reference to Thomas Hatch's son Joseph.
Frankly, I am uncertain as to what punctuation would be used with this second adjusted example - if a semi-colon or a dash would be better. Let's discuss.
Shearonink (
talk)
17:03, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
Hi
Shearonink, yes sleep makes a huge difference! :o) I'm now at the end of a long and busy day and am in need of sleep myself, I've had a quick think about your queries and they seem perfectly reasonable to me but I'll get some sleep before I check in again tomorrow and almost certainly make changes along the lines you suggest. Cheers for now.
Nortonius (
talk)
21:48, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
One sleep later:
Your first point is a good one: I've followed the source too closely and your suggestion is more accurate IMHO. Another pair of eyes often helps.
If
William Blake can write "
And did those feet ...", then I'm not afraid of starting sentences with "and" or "but"! But I'm happy to oblige here, and think your first suggestion is both fine and avoids any worry about punctuation.
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
I am having some difficulty reading through the article's prose, am thinking some of it might be the phrasing - am going to give this another proofing-run to see if I can set it out a little better for the nominator.
Shearonink (
talk)
04:02, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
Hi
Shearonink, thanks for taking this on. Just letting you know I'm here if you want to discuss problems with the article. You mention prose, I'd be happy to have a look at examples.
Nortonius (
talk)
10:43, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
@
Nortonius: This morning (after some sleep) I re-read it a few times and in general I think the prose is fine - a little sleep does wonders for comprehension. There are a few minor issues in the "The bellfounders" section:
but he noted that Thomas was recorded as a churchwarden this should probably be but he noted that a Thomas Hatch was recorded as a churchwarden
A bell cast in 1602 for the church at Waltham, Kent, bears Thomas Hatch's foundry stamp of a bell on a shield with the letters "T" and "H" on either side. But it also bears the legend Iosephvs Hatch Me Fecit, or "Joseph Hatch made me", in reference to Thomas Hatch's son Joseph.
Using 'But" to begin a sentence (despite what some have been taught) is perfectly fine grammatically, but I think the sentences flow a little better without that full stop of a period coupled with "But". Perhaps the sentences could be adjusted to something along the lines of:
A bell cast in 1602 for the church at Waltham, Kent, bears Thomas Hatch's foundry stamp of a bell on a shield with the letters "T" and "H" on either side, but the bell [making it clear that the sentence's subordinate clause is referring to the bell and not the inscription] also bears the legend Iosephvs Hatch Me Fecit, or "Joseph Hatch made me", in reference to Thomas Hatch's son Joseph.
or maybe
A bell cast in 1602 for the Waltham, Kent, church bears two inscriptions - Thomas Hatch's foundry stamp of a bell on a shield with the letters "T" and "H" on either side plus the legend Iosephvs Hatch Me Fecit or "Joseph Hatch made me", in reference to Thomas Hatch's son Joseph.
Frankly, I am uncertain as to what punctuation would be used with this second adjusted example - if a semi-colon or a dash would be better. Let's discuss.
Shearonink (
talk)
17:03, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
Hi
Shearonink, yes sleep makes a huge difference! :o) I'm now at the end of a long and busy day and am in need of sleep myself, I've had a quick think about your queries and they seem perfectly reasonable to me but I'll get some sleep before I check in again tomorrow and almost certainly make changes along the lines you suggest. Cheers for now.
Nortonius (
talk)
21:48, 21 March 2017 (UTC)reply
One sleep later:
Your first point is a good one: I've followed the source too closely and your suggestion is more accurate IMHO. Another pair of eyes often helps.
If
William Blake can write "
And did those feet ...", then I'm not afraid of starting sentences with "and" or "but"! But I'm happy to oblige here, and think your first suggestion is both fine and avoids any worry about punctuation.