Whoops, time got away on me a little bit. It is a long weekend here in NZ, and I will aiming to review this before it ends. Cheers,
Zawed (
talk)
07:00, 26 January 2019 (UTC)reply
The m conversion for the beam dimension recited in text appears to have been rounded up compared to infobox, but no other measurements treated this way?
Fixed, good catch
Service history
"...she was rammed by the barque Loch Trool just after Loch Trool had collided ...": could this sentence be rephrased to avoid the close repetition of Loch Trool?
Done
"...were assigned to form the 3rd Battle Squadron, assigned to the First Fleet, Home Fleet.": as above, could this be rephrased to avoid the close repetition of assigned?
Done
"was Augustus Agar, later V.C. and to become famous for exploits against the Bolsheviks and as captain of the heavy cruiser Dorsetshire in World War II." My suggested change in italics, feels like something missing otherwise.
Good idea
"she was sold for scrapping to": the link for scrapping is actually later in this paragraph, it should be moved to this occurence, its first mention.
Done, and reworded slightly to reduce the repetition of "scrapping"
Notes/references
Note 4 needs to be put into sfn format for consistency with other citations
Whoops, good catch
Other stuff
External links checks out OK
No dab links
No dupe links
Images look appropriately tagged
@
Parsecboy: Excellent work as always, only a few minor points requiring attention. I made a couple of what I thought were straightforward edits as well. Cheers,
Zawed (
talk)
22:34, 27 January 2019 (UTC)reply
Whoops, time got away on me a little bit. It is a long weekend here in NZ, and I will aiming to review this before it ends. Cheers,
Zawed (
talk)
07:00, 26 January 2019 (UTC)reply
The m conversion for the beam dimension recited in text appears to have been rounded up compared to infobox, but no other measurements treated this way?
Fixed, good catch
Service history
"...she was rammed by the barque Loch Trool just after Loch Trool had collided ...": could this sentence be rephrased to avoid the close repetition of Loch Trool?
Done
"...were assigned to form the 3rd Battle Squadron, assigned to the First Fleet, Home Fleet.": as above, could this be rephrased to avoid the close repetition of assigned?
Done
"was Augustus Agar, later V.C. and to become famous for exploits against the Bolsheviks and as captain of the heavy cruiser Dorsetshire in World War II." My suggested change in italics, feels like something missing otherwise.
Good idea
"she was sold for scrapping to": the link for scrapping is actually later in this paragraph, it should be moved to this occurence, its first mention.
Done, and reworded slightly to reduce the repetition of "scrapping"
Notes/references
Note 4 needs to be put into sfn format for consistency with other citations
Whoops, good catch
Other stuff
External links checks out OK
No dab links
No dupe links
Images look appropriately tagged
@
Parsecboy: Excellent work as always, only a few minor points requiring attention. I made a couple of what I thought were straightforward edits as well. Cheers,
Zawed (
talk)
22:34, 27 January 2019 (UTC)reply