"It lives all across the forested region of north-eastern South America." The subject of "It" is unclear, because the previous sentence was talking about the other member of the genus
I'm going to stop here, as there are prose problems like the examples I've given throughout the article. I ask that the nominator spend some time and carefully copyedit the text. As it is, the article does not meet
criterion 1a.
Sasata (
talk)
04:17, 26 October 2013 (UTC)reply
link Carl Linnaeus, type species, generic, specific name
Done
"which expresses its habit of nesting on rock walls, unlike the Andean Cock-of-the-rock. the underlined part could be trimmed as the last clause isn't part of the etymology.
Done
"altitude of 300 to 2000 meters." give conversion
Done
"In Guianan Cock-of-the-Rock has distinctive territorial markings" fix
Done
"Males usually take dominance of an area on the ground in forests, although they sometimes they occupy middle strata." fix
"Three quarters (75%) of the fruit eaten by the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock at one study site was either black or red colored fruit." was->were=
Done
the second paragraph of the diet subsection could be trimmed of the repetitive first sentence and integrated in the previous paragraph
Done
"Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds around the early months of the year and lays its eggs around March." think this needs a definite
article; clumsy repetition of "around"
Done
"Small snakes, reptiles, insects and frogs are occasionally also found to be parts of the diet of the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock." awkward, how about replacing "are occasionally also found to be parts of the diet" with "are occasionally found in the diet"
Done
"The males do not clean this court, but when they fly the dirt and other debris on the forest floor will be blown around." I cannot fathom why this would be important.
"When this occurs, the females tap the males from behind and insemination quickly follows." How the latter part follows from the former, I don't understand.
Ok, I see it this behavior is partially explained in the following subsection, but the organization is somewhat confusing here (there is duplicated material in subsection "Breeding" and "Male mating behavior").
Want me to trim all later mentioned info from Male mating behaviour or Breeding?
The second paragraph of "Breeding" is written confusingly. "The hens engaged in a “pool–comparison” tactic, meaning that females chose males of higher rank in courtship." who is male rank determined by the female? How do the females know which males are "lower ranking"?
"Thus, with a smaller frequency of attacks on the smaller group, the smaller group" repetitive
Done
"The female lays 1 or 2 eggs" spell out numbers less than 10, per MoS
Done
link incubate
Done
"However, females will make repairs" unnecessary however
Done
section and subsection titles should be lower case
Done
link fitness
Done
"The Guianan Cock–of–the–rock is on the menu of many species of predators." prose too informal
Done
the eagle and falcon predators should be linked
Done
"In a study by Nicholas B. West it was found that" this type of information usually isn't necessary for an encyclopedia article and can be trimmed without loss
The entire description section is sourced to
this webpage, but none of the cited information is on this page. Same with the next citation to this page. And the next ....
Source: "... and may have gathered information on lek geometry, territory density, and the location of activity centers on the lek." Article: "The court quality is determined by the lek geometry, territory density and location of activity in the center of the lek." Apart from the source being too closely paraphrased, I think the meaning has been altered incorrectly.
Done I think.
"The males each have their own court on the forest floor, and this is where they make their courts." ?
Done
how about splitting that large lead into two paragraphs?
done
"The males plumage is bright orange and have" fix grammar
done
"The Guianan Cock-of-the-rock lives all across the forested region"
done
"north-eastern South America" don't think this needs to be hyphenated
done
March is overlinked
done
"The females chose a male" chose->choose
done
"male to male competition" needs hyphenation
done
link iris
done
"Both sexes of this species also have"
done
"The one-year-old juvenile males look similar to an adult female, but has" fix grammar
done
"They have a total length of approximately 30 centimetres" who? The juvenile females?
done
"However, the two species of cock-of-the-rock are allopatric, and therefore do not meet with one another." However not necessary (there is no contrast)
done
there's still a problem with American/British English spelling consistency (both color/coloration and colour, for example, also behavior & behaviour, labor, etc.)
done
the final three sentences of the 1st paragraph of taxonomy and etymology don't belong there (probably better in description)
done
what work did Linnaeus publish the original description in? Any chance of a citation & link (all of his major works are online)?
I couldn't find anything.
are there no historical synonyms for the species?
don't think so
"which expresses its habit" expresses -> express
done
"The diet of the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock consists mainly of fruits. They are frugivorous." combine sentences (they essentially say the same thing)
done
link canopy
done
"either black or red coloured fruit." ->"either black- or red-coloured fruit."
done
who is Gilliard
done
"As noted above, the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock is primarily frugivorous in adulthood." This short paragraph should be combined with the previous (similar information is presented) with duplicate information trimmed. The sentence referred to previously does not indicate any cchange in dietary habits with age... is this something that should be mentioned?
done
"Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds around the early months of the year and lays its eggs near or during March." suggest "Guianan Cock-of-the-rocks breed early in the year, and females lay their eggs around March."
"The males each have their own area on the forest floor, and this is where they make their courts." suggest "The males each have their own area on the forest floor where they make their courts."
done
There's a lot of short sentences throughout the text, which makes the flow quite staccato. I suggest going through the article again and finding instances where neighboring sentences discussing similar ideas can be joined. Some examples:
got a few.
"The size of each court is about 1 metre (3.3 ft) in diameter. The next bird is often about 3 metres (9.8 ft) away." -> "The size of each court is about 1 metre (3 ft) in diameter, and the next bird is often about 3 metres (10 ft) away." (note also I reduced the sig figs in the output; these values are approximations)
done
"The females and males live separately. Only when it is time to mate do females fly over to observe and choose a male." -> "The females and males live separately; only during mating season do females fly over leks to observe and choose a male."
done
"lower ranking single males" needs a hyphen
done
"The rankings were determined by where they courts were positioned in the lek, the more central they were the more successful and higher ranking the male was." suggest "The rankings were determined by where the courts were positioned in the lek: courts that were more centrally placed indicated more successful and higher-ranking males."
done
"towards larger more centrally" comma after larger
done
"The smaller of the two
cocks-of-the-rocks(the other being Andean Cock-of-the-rock)" remove link (already linked previously), capitalize, & trim unnecessary (already explained)
done.
There is still redundant information in the first two paragraphs of "Male mating behaviour" (repeated in the previous section)
done
"The males also have a variety"
done
"Often Guianan Cock–of–the–rock males engage in courtship disruption practices." -> "Males often engage in courtship disruption practices."
done
"In lower intensity disruptions", "Higher intensity disruptions" needs hyphens
done
"male Guianan Cock–of–the–rocks usually directed its" -> "males usually directed their"
done
"uncommon event which had little effect if any at all on" -> "uncommon event that had little, if any, effect on"
done
"likely because of the fact that older more experienced" -> "probably because older, more experienced"
done
link sex drive
done
"Due to the fact that Guianan Cock–of–the–rock forms large leks" -> "Because Guianan Cock–of–the–rocks form large leks"
done
"Since no attempted breedings Guianan Cock-of-the-rock" missing word
done
link Cotingidae
done
incubate linked twice in close succession
done
"The ideal nesting sites for this species can usually be sought out" -> "The ideal nesting sites for this species are usually located"
done
"and plant material being deposited into the crevices."
done
"This bright coloration provides a sexual advantage for the males, increasing their likelihood of successfully mating." Don't all males have the same coloring? How is this an advantage (or rather, over whom is this an advantage?)
no need for subsections in the small "Conservation" section
done
"The Guianan Cock–of–the–rock is part of the diet of many species of predators. It also plays a key role in the environment it lives in by dispersing seeds from fruit it ingests." this is info already discussed above
done
link vocalization
done
page #for ref 25? Why don't the birds call out when there's a snake?
ref didn't support the info.
Ok, after reviewing the article again, I think it meets the
criteria for Good Article. All images are appropriately licensed, the prose is ok, and I've checked enough sources to convince myself that the sources are being represented correctly and paraphrasing is adequate. Thanks for putting up with my slow review! Passing now, cheers.
Sasata (
talk)
15:47, 19 December 2013 (UTC)reply
"It lives all across the forested region of north-eastern South America." The subject of "It" is unclear, because the previous sentence was talking about the other member of the genus
I'm going to stop here, as there are prose problems like the examples I've given throughout the article. I ask that the nominator spend some time and carefully copyedit the text. As it is, the article does not meet
criterion 1a.
Sasata (
talk)
04:17, 26 October 2013 (UTC)reply
link Carl Linnaeus, type species, generic, specific name
Done
"which expresses its habit of nesting on rock walls, unlike the Andean Cock-of-the-rock. the underlined part could be trimmed as the last clause isn't part of the etymology.
Done
"altitude of 300 to 2000 meters." give conversion
Done
"In Guianan Cock-of-the-Rock has distinctive territorial markings" fix
Done
"Males usually take dominance of an area on the ground in forests, although they sometimes they occupy middle strata." fix
"Three quarters (75%) of the fruit eaten by the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock at one study site was either black or red colored fruit." was->were=
Done
the second paragraph of the diet subsection could be trimmed of the repetitive first sentence and integrated in the previous paragraph
Done
"Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds around the early months of the year and lays its eggs around March." think this needs a definite
article; clumsy repetition of "around"
Done
"Small snakes, reptiles, insects and frogs are occasionally also found to be parts of the diet of the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock." awkward, how about replacing "are occasionally also found to be parts of the diet" with "are occasionally found in the diet"
Done
"The males do not clean this court, but when they fly the dirt and other debris on the forest floor will be blown around." I cannot fathom why this would be important.
"When this occurs, the females tap the males from behind and insemination quickly follows." How the latter part follows from the former, I don't understand.
Ok, I see it this behavior is partially explained in the following subsection, but the organization is somewhat confusing here (there is duplicated material in subsection "Breeding" and "Male mating behavior").
Want me to trim all later mentioned info from Male mating behaviour or Breeding?
The second paragraph of "Breeding" is written confusingly. "The hens engaged in a “pool–comparison” tactic, meaning that females chose males of higher rank in courtship." who is male rank determined by the female? How do the females know which males are "lower ranking"?
"Thus, with a smaller frequency of attacks on the smaller group, the smaller group" repetitive
Done
"The female lays 1 or 2 eggs" spell out numbers less than 10, per MoS
Done
link incubate
Done
"However, females will make repairs" unnecessary however
Done
section and subsection titles should be lower case
Done
link fitness
Done
"The Guianan Cock–of–the–rock is on the menu of many species of predators." prose too informal
Done
the eagle and falcon predators should be linked
Done
"In a study by Nicholas B. West it was found that" this type of information usually isn't necessary for an encyclopedia article and can be trimmed without loss
The entire description section is sourced to
this webpage, but none of the cited information is on this page. Same with the next citation to this page. And the next ....
Source: "... and may have gathered information on lek geometry, territory density, and the location of activity centers on the lek." Article: "The court quality is determined by the lek geometry, territory density and location of activity in the center of the lek." Apart from the source being too closely paraphrased, I think the meaning has been altered incorrectly.
Done I think.
"The males each have their own court on the forest floor, and this is where they make their courts." ?
Done
how about splitting that large lead into two paragraphs?
done
"The males plumage is bright orange and have" fix grammar
done
"The Guianan Cock-of-the-rock lives all across the forested region"
done
"north-eastern South America" don't think this needs to be hyphenated
done
March is overlinked
done
"The females chose a male" chose->choose
done
"male to male competition" needs hyphenation
done
link iris
done
"Both sexes of this species also have"
done
"The one-year-old juvenile males look similar to an adult female, but has" fix grammar
done
"They have a total length of approximately 30 centimetres" who? The juvenile females?
done
"However, the two species of cock-of-the-rock are allopatric, and therefore do not meet with one another." However not necessary (there is no contrast)
done
there's still a problem with American/British English spelling consistency (both color/coloration and colour, for example, also behavior & behaviour, labor, etc.)
done
the final three sentences of the 1st paragraph of taxonomy and etymology don't belong there (probably better in description)
done
what work did Linnaeus publish the original description in? Any chance of a citation & link (all of his major works are online)?
I couldn't find anything.
are there no historical synonyms for the species?
don't think so
"which expresses its habit" expresses -> express
done
"The diet of the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock consists mainly of fruits. They are frugivorous." combine sentences (they essentially say the same thing)
done
link canopy
done
"either black or red coloured fruit." ->"either black- or red-coloured fruit."
done
who is Gilliard
done
"As noted above, the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock is primarily frugivorous in adulthood." This short paragraph should be combined with the previous (similar information is presented) with duplicate information trimmed. The sentence referred to previously does not indicate any cchange in dietary habits with age... is this something that should be mentioned?
done
"Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds around the early months of the year and lays its eggs near or during March." suggest "Guianan Cock-of-the-rocks breed early in the year, and females lay their eggs around March."
"The males each have their own area on the forest floor, and this is where they make their courts." suggest "The males each have their own area on the forest floor where they make their courts."
done
There's a lot of short sentences throughout the text, which makes the flow quite staccato. I suggest going through the article again and finding instances where neighboring sentences discussing similar ideas can be joined. Some examples:
got a few.
"The size of each court is about 1 metre (3.3 ft) in diameter. The next bird is often about 3 metres (9.8 ft) away." -> "The size of each court is about 1 metre (3 ft) in diameter, and the next bird is often about 3 metres (10 ft) away." (note also I reduced the sig figs in the output; these values are approximations)
done
"The females and males live separately. Only when it is time to mate do females fly over to observe and choose a male." -> "The females and males live separately; only during mating season do females fly over leks to observe and choose a male."
done
"lower ranking single males" needs a hyphen
done
"The rankings were determined by where they courts were positioned in the lek, the more central they were the more successful and higher ranking the male was." suggest "The rankings were determined by where the courts were positioned in the lek: courts that were more centrally placed indicated more successful and higher-ranking males."
done
"towards larger more centrally" comma after larger
done
"The smaller of the two
cocks-of-the-rocks(the other being Andean Cock-of-the-rock)" remove link (already linked previously), capitalize, & trim unnecessary (already explained)
done.
There is still redundant information in the first two paragraphs of "Male mating behaviour" (repeated in the previous section)
done
"The males also have a variety"
done
"Often Guianan Cock–of–the–rock males engage in courtship disruption practices." -> "Males often engage in courtship disruption practices."
done
"In lower intensity disruptions", "Higher intensity disruptions" needs hyphens
done
"male Guianan Cock–of–the–rocks usually directed its" -> "males usually directed their"
done
"uncommon event which had little effect if any at all on" -> "uncommon event that had little, if any, effect on"
done
"likely because of the fact that older more experienced" -> "probably because older, more experienced"
done
link sex drive
done
"Due to the fact that Guianan Cock–of–the–rock forms large leks" -> "Because Guianan Cock–of–the–rocks form large leks"
done
"Since no attempted breedings Guianan Cock-of-the-rock" missing word
done
link Cotingidae
done
incubate linked twice in close succession
done
"The ideal nesting sites for this species can usually be sought out" -> "The ideal nesting sites for this species are usually located"
done
"and plant material being deposited into the crevices."
done
"This bright coloration provides a sexual advantage for the males, increasing their likelihood of successfully mating." Don't all males have the same coloring? How is this an advantage (or rather, over whom is this an advantage?)
no need for subsections in the small "Conservation" section
done
"The Guianan Cock–of–the–rock is part of the diet of many species of predators. It also plays a key role in the environment it lives in by dispersing seeds from fruit it ingests." this is info already discussed above
done
link vocalization
done
page #for ref 25? Why don't the birds call out when there's a snake?
ref didn't support the info.
Ok, after reviewing the article again, I think it meets the
criteria for Good Article. All images are appropriately licensed, the prose is ok, and I've checked enough sources to convince myself that the sources are being represented correctly and paraphrasing is adequate. Thanks for putting up with my slow review! Passing now, cheers.
Sasata (
talk)
15:47, 19 December 2013 (UTC)reply