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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk · contribs) 12:49, 13 April 2022 (UTC) reply

Infobox

• Fine

Lead

• "fellow rappers Cam'ron and Consequence" → fellow American rappers Cam'ron and Consequence

•  Not done writing "fellow rappers" without mentioning a separately nationality after an American rapper implies they are too -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• Wouldn't fellow be used to saying they are also rappers? Not sure if it can also be used in nationalities? MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:11, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• That would read repetitively and it seems quite obvious that any nationalities would be mentioned if they are not American. -- K. Peake 16:55, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• "A hip hop track, it contains samples of Otis Redding's version of "It's Too Late". → The hip hop track contains samples of Otis Redding's version of "It's Too Late" (1965).

•  Not done this would be inconsistent with usage of "the song" in the lead; "a hip hop track" is only written because that's what it says in the body. -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• I get it, anyway add the date of release. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:09, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• Is this really notable for the lead when the song was an album track? -- K. Peake 16:55, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• "The clip was a YouTube hit" → what is a Youtube hit? Do you mean it went viral?

 Done

Background and recording

• "on Cam'ron's hit single "Down and Out"" → on American rapper Cam'ron's single "Down and Out"

• He is introduced already in the lead -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

You are correct but remove "hit" as it is biased. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:12, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• Remove the image of Jon Brion. Brion's text image is already added to the body of this section and it's more like a "fun fact", than something relevant or vital to the article.
• "Record producer and composer Jon Brion" → American record producer and composer Jon Brion
• "The pair became connected via their mutual friend Rick Rubin" → The pair became connected via their mutual friend, and American record producer, Rick Rubin

• He does not need a proper introduction as a secondary subject -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

Is there some WP rule regarding this? MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:19, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• "West enlisted him to" → The rapper enlisted him to
• "The producer recalled" → The latter recalled

• This could lead to confusion about who is the latter -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

The latter is the last one mentioned, which in this situation is Brion. How can one be confused? On top of that is trying to avoid repetitive vocabularies, "The producer recalled West taking charge of production"... MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:18, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• "Chuck Willis, the third of which received credit" → shouldn't it be the fourth?

 Done

Composition and lyrics

• Flawless

Release and reception

• Change title to Critical reception
• ""Gone" was released as the nineteenth track on West's second studio album Late Registration on August 28, 2005, standing as the last track before any bonuses." → remove, not relevant information for the article.

•  Not done for the above, releases on albums can be written out for sourcing the infobox dates and a bonus is notable. -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

I would remove it. Doesn't add much to the article. However, I don't see this being a problem in the long run. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:15, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• "At The New Yorker, Sasha Frere-Jones" → Sasha Frere-Jones at The New Yorker, or something in this vein
• "In a lukewarm review at The New York Times, Jon Pareles" → same as previous

 Done

Accolades

• Remove reference 12 in the middle of the paragraph (second). It's always the same source.

 Done

Live performances and other usage

• Create a Commercial performance section and move the commercial portion of this section there.

•  Comment: are you sure commercial info is sufficient enough for that? -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• Perhaps as a subsection of the reception? MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:05, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• Wouldn't this be confusing, as the song's debut was powered by the viral video that is not relevant until media usage? -- K. Peake 16:55, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

  Maybe a subsection here? If it after the other usage it would make sense. The charts are not other usage or anything like that, henceforth that sentence. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 19:08, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• An idea for the first sentence as the songs' chart entry was due to the viral video → "Following Shifrin's viral YouTube video, counting towards 6.2 million streams..." or something in this vein.

 Done

Credits and personnel

• Fine

Charts

• Fine

References

• cokemachineglow → Cokemachineglow

 Done

External links

• Fine

Overall

• Good job providing source that makes this article pass WP:NSongs.
• You can now address the issues, let me know once you are done. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 15:14, 13 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• MarioSoulTruthFan Thanks for the review, I have addressed everything above! -- K. Peake 09:45, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• Kyle Peake I have address the comments, and not done issues. Cheers, MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 13:20, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• MarioSoulTruthFan Much thanks again, continuation of our discussions has been provided by me above. -- K. Peake 16:55, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

  You missed one reply on the "Background and recording" section, so I can close it. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 19:14, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• MarioSoulTruthFan I have now added the record producer identity to Rubin's mention. -- K. Peake 20:58, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

  I have seen. Only the commercial section missing. I made some changes to the lead, let me know what you think. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 22:47, 14 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• MarioSoulTruthFan Thanks for mentioning that and I have added in the sub-section now, while your lead edits look fine! -- K. Peake 07:44, 15 April 2022 (UTC) reply

  So I have checked everything, I'm just on the fence regarding one last thing. In the lead, "...caused the song to enter charts in the United States, debuting at..." Should United States be removed as the song also entered the French charts around the same time? Its not worth mentioning the SNEP peak. But perhaps remove the United States not to give the wrong idea? Let me know you thoughts. MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 11:13, 15 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• That is a valid point; I have reworded the lead to not imply the song only charted in the US while mentioning the region of the charts. -- K. Peake 15:31, 15 April 2022 (UTC) reply

  Kyle Peake Marvelous job! Is there anything else you would like to change before I pass the article? MarioSoulTruthFan ( talk) 18:50, 15 April 2022 (UTC) reply

• MarioSoulTruthFan I made one slight edit to the lead but elsewise, I think this is ready! -- K. Peake 19:54, 15 April 2022 (UTC) reply