The novel was generally well-received...—it might throw off the paragraph sizes, but I think this sentence would fit better alongside It was praised by... in the second paragraph
Consider removing the subheadings from this section, since there are only four paragraphs total and each section introduces its topic nicely without the heading
The sentence about Trump could probably be combined with the following one, and perhaps elaborated upon with footnotes—e.g., Abbott took remarks
Donald Trump made about
Megyn Kelly having "blood coming out of her wherever"[a] and
Hillary Clinton using the restroom as a "metaphor for demonizing women"
^Critics took Trump's comment as a reference to
menstruation. Trump said he was referring to Kelly's nose.[1]
There is also a focus on class in the novel.—consider rephrasing to active voice; e.g. The novel [also] emphasizes class.
while Kit is used twice in close proximity—consider rephrasing
This class focus... → The novel's focus on class affects how Kit views Diane, believing that she has had an easier life because she was raised with money.
The Observer, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29, Marie Claire, and the Financial Times → Cosmopolitan, Financial Times, Marie Claire, The Observer, and Refinery29
The previous order seemed random; I've reordered alphabetically. If there was a specific reason for this order, feel free to revert.
☔
one of her biggest → one of [Abbott's] biggest
the narrator Cannon's performance portraying the varying characters and emotions in the novel. → Cannon's performance portraying the varying characters and emotions.
praised the haunting nature of the book → the novel's haunting nature
Ruth Ware in The New York Times...—consider rephrasing this sentence for concision; e.g., something like The New York Times's Ruth Ware compared the focus on female friendship and competition to Abbott's Dare Me and You Will Know Me, despite its departure from teenage athletics
the character's teenage → the characters' teenage (I think)
The A.V. Club gave the novel a B+, commending its → The A.V. Club commended the novel's, and but arguing that → but argued
a conscious choice on the part of Abbott → a conscious choice by Abbott
With only three nominations, I think the awards might be better suited in prose, perhaps even in the section's first paragraph—but I'll leave this to you
What a great read! This is in fantastic shape—the Themes section is especially impressive. Most of my comments are nitpicky so you're welcome to disagree with any of them—and anything written like this is purely a personal suggestion that can be safely ignored without impacting the review. I'll put it on hold while my comments are addressed, but I expect this to have its green plus in no time! –
Rhain☔ (
he/him)04:46, 5 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thanks for addressing everything! I've responded twice above and will do some minor edits on my way out, but I'm very happy with this article; it is certainly worthy of GA. Congratulations, this is yours: ! –
Rhain☔ (
he/him)00:53, 7 February 2024 (UTC)reply
The novel was generally well-received...—it might throw off the paragraph sizes, but I think this sentence would fit better alongside It was praised by... in the second paragraph
Consider removing the subheadings from this section, since there are only four paragraphs total and each section introduces its topic nicely without the heading
The sentence about Trump could probably be combined with the following one, and perhaps elaborated upon with footnotes—e.g., Abbott took remarks
Donald Trump made about
Megyn Kelly having "blood coming out of her wherever"[a] and
Hillary Clinton using the restroom as a "metaphor for demonizing women"
^Critics took Trump's comment as a reference to
menstruation. Trump said he was referring to Kelly's nose.[1]
There is also a focus on class in the novel.—consider rephrasing to active voice; e.g. The novel [also] emphasizes class.
while Kit is used twice in close proximity—consider rephrasing
This class focus... → The novel's focus on class affects how Kit views Diane, believing that she has had an easier life because she was raised with money.
The Observer, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29, Marie Claire, and the Financial Times → Cosmopolitan, Financial Times, Marie Claire, The Observer, and Refinery29
The previous order seemed random; I've reordered alphabetically. If there was a specific reason for this order, feel free to revert.
☔
one of her biggest → one of [Abbott's] biggest
the narrator Cannon's performance portraying the varying characters and emotions in the novel. → Cannon's performance portraying the varying characters and emotions.
praised the haunting nature of the book → the novel's haunting nature
Ruth Ware in The New York Times...—consider rephrasing this sentence for concision; e.g., something like The New York Times's Ruth Ware compared the focus on female friendship and competition to Abbott's Dare Me and You Will Know Me, despite its departure from teenage athletics
the character's teenage → the characters' teenage (I think)
The A.V. Club gave the novel a B+, commending its → The A.V. Club commended the novel's, and but arguing that → but argued
a conscious choice on the part of Abbott → a conscious choice by Abbott
With only three nominations, I think the awards might be better suited in prose, perhaps even in the section's first paragraph—but I'll leave this to you
What a great read! This is in fantastic shape—the Themes section is especially impressive. Most of my comments are nitpicky so you're welcome to disagree with any of them—and anything written like this is purely a personal suggestion that can be safely ignored without impacting the review. I'll put it on hold while my comments are addressed, but I expect this to have its green plus in no time! –
Rhain☔ (
he/him)04:46, 5 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thanks for addressing everything! I've responded twice above and will do some minor edits on my way out, but I'm very happy with this article; it is certainly worthy of GA. Congratulations, this is yours: ! –
Rhain☔ (
he/him)00:53, 7 February 2024 (UTC)reply