![]() | Muhammad I of the Eretnids has been listed as one of the
History good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: November 12, 2023. ( Reviewed version). |
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I left the following feedback for the creator/future reviewers while reviewing this article: Thanks for the article!.
✠ SunDawn ✠ (contact) 08:16, 10 June 2022 (UTC)
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Reviewer: An anonymous username, not my real name ( talk · contribs) 17:54, 12 November 2023 (UTC)
General comments:
Lead / word choice:
Though, Muḥammad's rule did not fare well as he turned out to be debaucherous and treated his siblings unfairly.This should say "however" instead of "though" and "behaved debaucherously" instead of "turned out to be debaucherous".
Nevertheless, Muḥammad was deposed by his emirs, and his half-brother Jafar reigned for a year."Nevertheless" doesn't work here. I am tempted to say that it should be replaced with "however", but that would make three "howevers" in one section. Could the whole sentence be reworded to make this flow better?
taking refuge in the KaramanidsIn → amongst.
The governor Ibn KurdOf the Sivas?
enthroning his son Ali.Exactly whose son is Ali? Elsewhere it says he is Eretna's.
Muḥammad was about 25 years old on his death."At the time of his death" would read better.
Eretna's son ʿAlāʾ al-Dīn ʿAlī succeeded him after his murder. According to Karamanname, Muḥammad also had an older son named Eretna.So was Ali Muhammad's brother or son? And who is Eretna older than, if he is an older son? And I assume there are two different Eretnas in this article, given that Muhammad's father had the same name.
While he could reclaim the throne for some time,Suggest rewording to "while he held the throne for some time".
However, he is not mentioned by any other sources of that era.If there are "other" sources, then what is the original source in question?
This is a nice article; it just needs some work before it can be promoted. I changed a few small things myself that didn't feel worth bringing up here. I'm putting it on hold for now. Good luck. Anonymous 17:54, 12 November 2023 (UTC)
The result of the move request was: moved to Muhammad I of the Eretnids. While the level of enthusiasm for this title was admittedly tepid, it appears to have been viewed as acceptable by all participants, who found it to be a clear and unambiguous option. No prejudice to future RMs on this topic. ( closed by non-admin page mover) ModernDayTrilobite ( talk • contribs) 19:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Ghiyath al-Din Muhammad I → Ghiyath al-Din Muhammad (Eretnid) – Current title is confusing. There was no "Ghiyath al-Din Muhammad II". He is just Muhammad I of the Eretnids. There was a Muhammad II, but he wasn't a Ghiyath al-Din. Srnec ( talk) 18:11, 15 June 2024 (UTC) — Relisting. BilledMammal ( talk) 20:48, 22 June 2024 (UTC)
![]() | Muhammad I of the Eretnids has been listed as one of the
History good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: November 12, 2023. ( Reviewed version). |
![]() | This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | ||||||||||||||||||||
|
I left the following feedback for the creator/future reviewers while reviewing this article: Thanks for the article!.
✠ SunDawn ✠ (contact) 08:16, 10 June 2022 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Reviewer: An anonymous username, not my real name ( talk · contribs) 17:54, 12 November 2023 (UTC)
General comments:
Lead / word choice:
Though, Muḥammad's rule did not fare well as he turned out to be debaucherous and treated his siblings unfairly.This should say "however" instead of "though" and "behaved debaucherously" instead of "turned out to be debaucherous".
Nevertheless, Muḥammad was deposed by his emirs, and his half-brother Jafar reigned for a year."Nevertheless" doesn't work here. I am tempted to say that it should be replaced with "however", but that would make three "howevers" in one section. Could the whole sentence be reworded to make this flow better?
taking refuge in the KaramanidsIn → amongst.
The governor Ibn KurdOf the Sivas?
enthroning his son Ali.Exactly whose son is Ali? Elsewhere it says he is Eretna's.
Muḥammad was about 25 years old on his death."At the time of his death" would read better.
Eretna's son ʿAlāʾ al-Dīn ʿAlī succeeded him after his murder. According to Karamanname, Muḥammad also had an older son named Eretna.So was Ali Muhammad's brother or son? And who is Eretna older than, if he is an older son? And I assume there are two different Eretnas in this article, given that Muhammad's father had the same name.
While he could reclaim the throne for some time,Suggest rewording to "while he held the throne for some time".
However, he is not mentioned by any other sources of that era.If there are "other" sources, then what is the original source in question?
This is a nice article; it just needs some work before it can be promoted. I changed a few small things myself that didn't feel worth bringing up here. I'm putting it on hold for now. Good luck. Anonymous 17:54, 12 November 2023 (UTC)
The result of the move request was: moved to Muhammad I of the Eretnids. While the level of enthusiasm for this title was admittedly tepid, it appears to have been viewed as acceptable by all participants, who found it to be a clear and unambiguous option. No prejudice to future RMs on this topic. ( closed by non-admin page mover) ModernDayTrilobite ( talk • contribs) 19:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Ghiyath al-Din Muhammad I → Ghiyath al-Din Muhammad (Eretnid) – Current title is confusing. There was no "Ghiyath al-Din Muhammad II". He is just Muhammad I of the Eretnids. There was a Muhammad II, but he wasn't a Ghiyath al-Din. Srnec ( talk) 18:11, 15 June 2024 (UTC) — Relisting. BilledMammal ( talk) 20:48, 22 June 2024 (UTC)