GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Kpddg ( talk · contribs) 04:20, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
Hello @ Kavyansh.Singh . I have reviewed this page. Kpddg ( talk) 04:20, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
This article has failed its Good article nomination. This is how the article, as of December 17, 2021, compares against the six good article criteria:
When these issues are addressed, the article can be renominated. If you feel that this review is in error, feel free to have it reassessed. Thank you for your work so far.— Kpddg ( talk) 04:36, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
Hi there! I'll be giving a second review of this nomination. Comments should be completed within a week. Cheers! theleekycauldron ( talk • contribs) ( they/she) 02:25, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
George W. Bush, the son of George H. W. Bush mentioned his father's dislike of broccoli in a eulogy at his father's funeral.There should be a comma after George H. W. Bush, but I'd honestly recommend rewriting it as "Bush's son, George W. Bush, mentioned ..."
Shortly after, a journalist from U.S. News & World Report broke a story stating that Bush had banned broccoli from Air Force One.This admittedly comes from the feeling of "politics is a huge joke combined with a spectator sport pretending to be important" that this article is giving me, but please, don't call anything in this article "breaking news" journalism.
Bush's anti-broccoli comments did not go down well with the farming community of the United States."go down" is colloquial—I'd recommend "were received poorly"
Many parents, who were trying to get their children to eat vegetablesinsert comma at the end there
Bush's thyroid condition, later announced to be Graves' disease led many Americans to write letters to Bush, insisting he eat more broccoli due to its health benefits.insert comma after "Grave's disease"
During the 1992 presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore, wives of the Democratic nominee Bill Clinton and Al Gore were seen holding a sign which stated: "Let's put broccoli in the White House again".→
Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore, wives of Democratic nominees for President and Vice President Bill Clinton and Al Gore,
Bush's comments on broccoli, along with his later vomiting incident (during which he vomited on the Prime Minister of Japan, Kiichi Miyazawa, after a bout of the 24-hour flu) were seen as examples of Bush's tendency for political gaffes.→
Bush's comments on broccoli, along with an incident in which he vomited on the Prime Minister of Japan, Kiichi Miyazawa, were seen as examples of Bush's tendency for political gaffes.
joked that the workers in the Office of Personnel Management would get merit pay "in broccoli".Should be rephrased somehow—too close to the original source for my comfort
owned a substantial broccoli farmrephrase, too close of a paraphrase
Bush hosted a state dinner to honor Tadeusz Mazowiecki, the prime minister of Polandtoo close of a paraphrase
I went to the volcano, miniature canoe in hand, looking for a decent pint of seltzer.
I went to the volcano (miniature canoe in hand) looking for a decent pint of seltzer.
I went to the volcano looking for a decent pint of seltzer.So, when you have those parenthetical clauses, imagine wrapping it with a parentheses instead, or dashes. That's where you'll put both commas.
These remarks were immediately compared to those of Bush.supported in the Washington Post citation?
ABC News's Liz Neporent said that broccoli "has long been a political vegetable".I'm not sure what this sentence is doing in the middle of Obama's story—what's its relevance?
Broccoli saw an increase in popularity following Bush's comments, with the sale of broccoli rising 10 percent. One supermarket sales director quipped to the Los Angeles Times that "Broccoli has never enjoyed so much publicity".
pass-ifier :)
I find it hard to believe that there's not more images, but illustration isn't a requirement and all the images are relevant.
theleekycauldron (
talk •
contribs) (
they/she) 02:36, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
Actually, if you could take an image from the C-SPAN video (should be public domain, no? If not, it's definitely fair use), that'd work splendidly.
theleekycauldron (
talk •
contribs) (
they/she)
03:02, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
Fantastic job, Kavyansh! There's a lot of little things to hammer out, but I think my main issue so far is that this feels a little small. There's definitely room for expansion here, and I'd want to see a bit more on specific incidents and background trends, possibly in their own paragraphs. Overall, this is going great! I'm going to put this
On hold while we work this out.
theleekycauldron (
talk •
contribs) (
they/she)
03:50, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
Good Article review progress box
|
All righty, Kavyansh, that's a Pass!
Good Article review progress box
|
Thanks! Still can't believe we have an entire article on Bush hating broccoli! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 04:59, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Kpddg ( talk · contribs) 04:20, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
Hello @ Kavyansh.Singh . I have reviewed this page. Kpddg ( talk) 04:20, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
This article has failed its Good article nomination. This is how the article, as of December 17, 2021, compares against the six good article criteria:
When these issues are addressed, the article can be renominated. If you feel that this review is in error, feel free to have it reassessed. Thank you for your work so far.— Kpddg ( talk) 04:36, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
Hi there! I'll be giving a second review of this nomination. Comments should be completed within a week. Cheers! theleekycauldron ( talk • contribs) ( they/she) 02:25, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
George W. Bush, the son of George H. W. Bush mentioned his father's dislike of broccoli in a eulogy at his father's funeral.There should be a comma after George H. W. Bush, but I'd honestly recommend rewriting it as "Bush's son, George W. Bush, mentioned ..."
Shortly after, a journalist from U.S. News & World Report broke a story stating that Bush had banned broccoli from Air Force One.This admittedly comes from the feeling of "politics is a huge joke combined with a spectator sport pretending to be important" that this article is giving me, but please, don't call anything in this article "breaking news" journalism.
Bush's anti-broccoli comments did not go down well with the farming community of the United States."go down" is colloquial—I'd recommend "were received poorly"
Many parents, who were trying to get their children to eat vegetablesinsert comma at the end there
Bush's thyroid condition, later announced to be Graves' disease led many Americans to write letters to Bush, insisting he eat more broccoli due to its health benefits.insert comma after "Grave's disease"
During the 1992 presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore, wives of the Democratic nominee Bill Clinton and Al Gore were seen holding a sign which stated: "Let's put broccoli in the White House again".→
Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore, wives of Democratic nominees for President and Vice President Bill Clinton and Al Gore,
Bush's comments on broccoli, along with his later vomiting incident (during which he vomited on the Prime Minister of Japan, Kiichi Miyazawa, after a bout of the 24-hour flu) were seen as examples of Bush's tendency for political gaffes.→
Bush's comments on broccoli, along with an incident in which he vomited on the Prime Minister of Japan, Kiichi Miyazawa, were seen as examples of Bush's tendency for political gaffes.
joked that the workers in the Office of Personnel Management would get merit pay "in broccoli".Should be rephrased somehow—too close to the original source for my comfort
owned a substantial broccoli farmrephrase, too close of a paraphrase
Bush hosted a state dinner to honor Tadeusz Mazowiecki, the prime minister of Polandtoo close of a paraphrase
I went to the volcano, miniature canoe in hand, looking for a decent pint of seltzer.
I went to the volcano (miniature canoe in hand) looking for a decent pint of seltzer.
I went to the volcano looking for a decent pint of seltzer.So, when you have those parenthetical clauses, imagine wrapping it with a parentheses instead, or dashes. That's where you'll put both commas.
These remarks were immediately compared to those of Bush.supported in the Washington Post citation?
ABC News's Liz Neporent said that broccoli "has long been a political vegetable".I'm not sure what this sentence is doing in the middle of Obama's story—what's its relevance?
Broccoli saw an increase in popularity following Bush's comments, with the sale of broccoli rising 10 percent. One supermarket sales director quipped to the Los Angeles Times that "Broccoli has never enjoyed so much publicity".
pass-ifier :)
I find it hard to believe that there's not more images, but illustration isn't a requirement and all the images are relevant.
theleekycauldron (
talk •
contribs) (
they/she) 02:36, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
Actually, if you could take an image from the C-SPAN video (should be public domain, no? If not, it's definitely fair use), that'd work splendidly.
theleekycauldron (
talk •
contribs) (
they/she)
03:02, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
Fantastic job, Kavyansh! There's a lot of little things to hammer out, but I think my main issue so far is that this feels a little small. There's definitely room for expansion here, and I'd want to see a bit more on specific incidents and background trends, possibly in their own paragraphs. Overall, this is going great! I'm going to put this
On hold while we work this out.
theleekycauldron (
talk •
contribs) (
they/she)
03:50, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
Good Article review progress box
|
All righty, Kavyansh, that's a Pass!
Good Article review progress box
|
Thanks! Still can't believe we have an entire article on Bush hating broccoli! – Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 04:59, 29 December 2021 (UTC)