I feel that an info box , using the
Template:Infobox person should be provided at the head of the article.
There are a large number of one sentence paragraphs.
Amid the negative publicity that followed, Barbara Walters dubbed Lorenzo "probably the most hated man in America" in a 1989 interview, which he denied, blaming the unions for the bad press. Unclear grammar
The Lead does not adequately summarize the article. Please read
WP:LEAD and apply those guidelines.
From 1972 to 1978, Lorenzo and his management team turned a $6.3 million loss on $63 million in revenue into a $13.2 million profit on $158 million in revenue. How?
TIA's attempted takeover of the much larger National "surprised a lot of people". Why?
Although mostly well written the prose is choppy and somewhat disconnected. Needs work to make a smooth flowing narrative, whilct remaining encyclopedic in tone.
There is a lot of coverage of the individual companies which Lorenzo has been involved with, much of this material would be better in the company articles rather than here. Remain focussed on the article subject.
Little or no coverage of his life outside of business.
I have had a long hard look at this and I feel that the main problems is this: Is this artcile about Frank Lorenzo or about Jet Capital / Texas Air /Eastern or Continenetal? At persent large parts of the article make no direct reference to Lorenzo, but are about the machinations of various company boards, in which Lorenzo undoubtedly played a part. I would recommend that you havee a long hard think about this. You may well have material for two or more articles here on aspects of the US airline business. I am not able to list this as a good article at present as the article is not sufficiently focussed on the purported subject, Frank Lorenzo.
Jezhotwells (
talk)
10:16, 18 November 2009 (UTC)reply
A fair point; I would say in response that the whole reason for Lorenzo's notability is his single-minded focus on the machinations of the airline industry for over 20 years. I can't say whether or not he pursued other interests in that time, but they certainly don't appear to be reported. His polarizing effect on companies, especially with respect to unionization and cost-cutting, are still legendary. Frank |
talk 13:41, 18 November 2009 (UTC)reply
I feel that an info box , using the
Template:Infobox person should be provided at the head of the article.
There are a large number of one sentence paragraphs.
Amid the negative publicity that followed, Barbara Walters dubbed Lorenzo "probably the most hated man in America" in a 1989 interview, which he denied, blaming the unions for the bad press. Unclear grammar
The Lead does not adequately summarize the article. Please read
WP:LEAD and apply those guidelines.
From 1972 to 1978, Lorenzo and his management team turned a $6.3 million loss on $63 million in revenue into a $13.2 million profit on $158 million in revenue. How?
TIA's attempted takeover of the much larger National "surprised a lot of people". Why?
Although mostly well written the prose is choppy and somewhat disconnected. Needs work to make a smooth flowing narrative, whilct remaining encyclopedic in tone.
There is a lot of coverage of the individual companies which Lorenzo has been involved with, much of this material would be better in the company articles rather than here. Remain focussed on the article subject.
Little or no coverage of his life outside of business.
I have had a long hard look at this and I feel that the main problems is this: Is this artcile about Frank Lorenzo or about Jet Capital / Texas Air /Eastern or Continenetal? At persent large parts of the article make no direct reference to Lorenzo, but are about the machinations of various company boards, in which Lorenzo undoubtedly played a part. I would recommend that you havee a long hard think about this. You may well have material for two or more articles here on aspects of the US airline business. I am not able to list this as a good article at present as the article is not sufficiently focussed on the purported subject, Frank Lorenzo.
Jezhotwells (
talk)
10:16, 18 November 2009 (UTC)reply
A fair point; I would say in response that the whole reason for Lorenzo's notability is his single-minded focus on the machinations of the airline industry for over 20 years. I can't say whether or not he pursued other interests in that time, but they certainly don't appear to be reported. His polarizing effect on companies, especially with respect to unionization and cost-cutting, are still legendary. Frank |
talk 13:41, 18 November 2009 (UTC)reply