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![]() | This article is currently the subject of an educational assignment. Further details are available here. |
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available
on the course page. Student editor(s):
Reikosimmons.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT ( talk) 21:23, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Hi Alexa,
I've finished reading your article, and here are my thoughts (they assume that you finished):
Outstanding things:
-Very well researched article. You managed to research the history of enslavement of indigenous peoples in California in the last half-millennium, and as someone from California, I was very impressed with the scope of research while reading your article.
-Divide between section topics is very clear. Unlike some articles, you don't expand a new section whenever you feel like it, and the transition is distinct.
-Citations were plentiful, which is always good.
Almost-there things:
- Word count (I think this has to be over 2000?)
- Tone sometimes was not completely objective (it is not ideal to do this, even if you cite a source) Ex. "fearing them for no historical reason"
Good job! Ryan Li
-- Liryans ( talk) 13:53, 11 April 2015 (UTC)
Hello, this is Peter Carley from your Human Rights of Indigenous Peoples class with some feedback for the peer-review component of class. Some strong points of your article include:
Some Areas that could use improvement include:
Made some basic grammar edits. Helped some things flow a little better. Looks good!
Evan.j.miranda (
talk)
05:52, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
I think this sentence sounds a little weird. I get that you're trying to say the Mexican rule perpetuated the free labor system as can be seen through the indentured servitude of native Californians, but it can maybe be said a little more clearly. "The Mexican rule of California after the Spanish continued this trend through many of the native Californians becoming indentured servants to wealthy Mexican landowners." 2nd Paragraph Evan.j.miranda ( talk) 02:01, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Under Spanish Conquest:
"There were several recorded uprisings of Indians resisting Spanish rule, one of the earliest was the attack on the Mission San Diego on November 4, 1775. The Ipai-Tipai organized nine villages into a force of around 800 to destroy the mission and kill three of the Spanish, one of them being Padre Jaime. It should be noted, however, that not every Californian Indian uprising was violent. In September of 1795, over two hundred natives, including many old neophytes, simply deserted San Francisco all in different directions. When uprisings occurred, the natives did not go unpunished: some Indians were put to death but many were imprisoned and forced into hard labor." SOURCE??? Evan.j.miranda ( talk) 02:02, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
You definitely know just as much as I do about Wikipedia, but instead of copying and pasting each of those paragraphs I'll just say that there are some like “Any person could go before a Justice of Peace" under Gold Rush and US that don't have sources. Maybe you don't need them? Evan.j.miranda ( talk) 02:20, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Hi, Overall I thought that this article was filled with good information that was supported by several reliable sources. The links to other topics were helpful in understanding terms that are specific to California history and the Native population. I was slightly distracted when the article jumped from talking about enslavement to genocide. I think that to discuss genocide there should be a transition that connects the topic of genocide with the title of the article. I found that providing history of the mission system and Spanish conquest was very important to the topic and I was glad it was included in the article. Reikosimmons ( talk) 18:30, 3 October 2016 (UTC) Reiko Simmons
Reikosimmons Possibly, except that the indigenous people of California were never enslaved by the Spanish. There were instances of abuse (evidently) but not the institution nor the widespread practice of slavery. I strongly disagree with your perception of the quality of sources. The article was based on sub-standard non-academic sources (mainly activist websites) which seriously distorted the region's historical reality. Slavery evidently became widespread during the genocide after the U.S. occupation in the mid to late 19th century. In fact, the enslavement of the native american population was probably one of the main drivers of this genocide. The prior unsourced version was a severe exercise of blame-shifting, manipulation and Anglo-centric bias. Asilah1981 ( talk) 10:54, 4 October 2016 (UTC)
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 22 August 2023 and 12 December 2023. Further details are available
on the course page. Student editor(s):
Uncle Tacitus,
Lumberjack Banana Splitter,
FindingMothman,
Lonelyrhino,
TimBlurr,
Chris.garcia02 (
article contribs).
— Assignment last updated by Ghamilton5000 ( talk) 20:58, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
This is the
talk page for discussing improvements to the
Forced labor in California article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google ( books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
![]() | This article is rated Start-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
![]() | This article is currently the subject of an educational assignment. Further details are available here. |
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available
on the course page. Student editor(s):
Reikosimmons.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT ( talk) 21:23, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Hi Alexa,
I've finished reading your article, and here are my thoughts (they assume that you finished):
Outstanding things:
-Very well researched article. You managed to research the history of enslavement of indigenous peoples in California in the last half-millennium, and as someone from California, I was very impressed with the scope of research while reading your article.
-Divide between section topics is very clear. Unlike some articles, you don't expand a new section whenever you feel like it, and the transition is distinct.
-Citations were plentiful, which is always good.
Almost-there things:
- Word count (I think this has to be over 2000?)
- Tone sometimes was not completely objective (it is not ideal to do this, even if you cite a source) Ex. "fearing them for no historical reason"
Good job! Ryan Li
-- Liryans ( talk) 13:53, 11 April 2015 (UTC)
Hello, this is Peter Carley from your Human Rights of Indigenous Peoples class with some feedback for the peer-review component of class. Some strong points of your article include:
Some Areas that could use improvement include:
Made some basic grammar edits. Helped some things flow a little better. Looks good!
Evan.j.miranda (
talk)
05:52, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
I think this sentence sounds a little weird. I get that you're trying to say the Mexican rule perpetuated the free labor system as can be seen through the indentured servitude of native Californians, but it can maybe be said a little more clearly. "The Mexican rule of California after the Spanish continued this trend through many of the native Californians becoming indentured servants to wealthy Mexican landowners." 2nd Paragraph Evan.j.miranda ( talk) 02:01, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Under Spanish Conquest:
"There were several recorded uprisings of Indians resisting Spanish rule, one of the earliest was the attack on the Mission San Diego on November 4, 1775. The Ipai-Tipai organized nine villages into a force of around 800 to destroy the mission and kill three of the Spanish, one of them being Padre Jaime. It should be noted, however, that not every Californian Indian uprising was violent. In September of 1795, over two hundred natives, including many old neophytes, simply deserted San Francisco all in different directions. When uprisings occurred, the natives did not go unpunished: some Indians were put to death but many were imprisoned and forced into hard labor." SOURCE??? Evan.j.miranda ( talk) 02:02, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
You definitely know just as much as I do about Wikipedia, but instead of copying and pasting each of those paragraphs I'll just say that there are some like “Any person could go before a Justice of Peace" under Gold Rush and US that don't have sources. Maybe you don't need them? Evan.j.miranda ( talk) 02:20, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Hi, Overall I thought that this article was filled with good information that was supported by several reliable sources. The links to other topics were helpful in understanding terms that are specific to California history and the Native population. I was slightly distracted when the article jumped from talking about enslavement to genocide. I think that to discuss genocide there should be a transition that connects the topic of genocide with the title of the article. I found that providing history of the mission system and Spanish conquest was very important to the topic and I was glad it was included in the article. Reikosimmons ( talk) 18:30, 3 October 2016 (UTC) Reiko Simmons
Reikosimmons Possibly, except that the indigenous people of California were never enslaved by the Spanish. There were instances of abuse (evidently) but not the institution nor the widespread practice of slavery. I strongly disagree with your perception of the quality of sources. The article was based on sub-standard non-academic sources (mainly activist websites) which seriously distorted the region's historical reality. Slavery evidently became widespread during the genocide after the U.S. occupation in the mid to late 19th century. In fact, the enslavement of the native american population was probably one of the main drivers of this genocide. The prior unsourced version was a severe exercise of blame-shifting, manipulation and Anglo-centric bias. Asilah1981 ( talk) 10:54, 4 October 2016 (UTC)
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 22 August 2023 and 12 December 2023. Further details are available
on the course page. Student editor(s):
Uncle Tacitus,
Lumberjack Banana Splitter,
FindingMothman,
Lonelyrhino,
TimBlurr,
Chris.garcia02 (
article contribs).
— Assignment last updated by Ghamilton5000 ( talk) 20:58, 21 October 2023 (UTC)