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Reviewer: Coemgenus ( talk) 13:12, 13 August 2011 (UTC) Looks very good, but I have a few comments:
- You might want to link or explain "land agent".
- Linked. Frickeg ( talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- Exactly what sort of land reform did Millen espouse? The link doesn't help much.
- Expanded - I couldn't find much on this. Frickeg ( talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
- Maybe some brief explanation of Australian federation would be useful to non-Australians in understanding the politics of the era. Just a sentence or two, nothing too elaborate.
- Added a little bit at the start of the "state politics" section - how's that? Frickeg ( talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
- "...elected in the second position" Are these multi-member districts? Some explanation, again, would help the non-Australian.
- Reworded. Frickeg ( talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- You might want to explain the job of the Minister for Repatriation. Was it just about demobilization, or did he deal with veterans afterward, too?
- Almost exclusively veterans; the portfolio eventually became Veterans' Affairs. I've tried to clarify the wording a little. Frickeg ( talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
I'll get to the rest of these on the weekend. Frickeg ( talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- OK. I probably won't be able to review them until then, anyway. -- Coemgenus ( talk) 12:53, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- These changes are all good. I'm a little concerned about how closely the "Early life" section follows the Rutledge article -- some of the sentences are very close to the source. I understand that there's going to be some overlap in a chronological history -- things happened in that order, no matter how they're sourced -- but a little re-arranging might help. --
Coemgenus (
talk)
15:54, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
- Hopefully addressed.
Frickeg (
talk)
13:20, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
- Works for me. -- Coemgenus ( talk) 22:03, 3 September 2011 (UTC)
- Hopefully addressed.
Frickeg (
talk)
13:20, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
| GA toolbox |
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| Reviewing |
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Coemgenus ( talk) 13:12, 13 August 2011 (UTC) Looks very good, but I have a few comments:
- You might want to link or explain "land agent".
- Linked. Frickeg ( talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- Exactly what sort of land reform did Millen espouse? The link doesn't help much.
- Expanded - I couldn't find much on this. Frickeg ( talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
- Maybe some brief explanation of Australian federation would be useful to non-Australians in understanding the politics of the era. Just a sentence or two, nothing too elaborate.
- Added a little bit at the start of the "state politics" section - how's that? Frickeg ( talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
- "...elected in the second position" Are these multi-member districts? Some explanation, again, would help the non-Australian.
- Reworded. Frickeg ( talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- You might want to explain the job of the Minister for Repatriation. Was it just about demobilization, or did he deal with veterans afterward, too?
- Almost exclusively veterans; the portfolio eventually became Veterans' Affairs. I've tried to clarify the wording a little. Frickeg ( talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
I'll get to the rest of these on the weekend. Frickeg ( talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- OK. I probably won't be able to review them until then, anyway. -- Coemgenus ( talk) 12:53, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
- These changes are all good. I'm a little concerned about how closely the "Early life" section follows the Rutledge article -- some of the sentences are very close to the source. I understand that there's going to be some overlap in a chronological history -- things happened in that order, no matter how they're sourced -- but a little re-arranging might help. --
Coemgenus (
talk)
15:54, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
- Hopefully addressed.
Frickeg (
talk)
13:20, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
- Works for me. -- Coemgenus ( talk) 22:03, 3 September 2011 (UTC)
- Hopefully addressed.
Frickeg (
talk)
13:20, 2 September 2011 (UTC)