The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that among those commemorated by the East Knoyle War Memorial are three brothers who died in the First World War, twelve soldiers killed in the Second, and one
killed by friendly fire in the Iraq War?
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HJ Mitchell, since war memorials seem to be within your wheelhouse, I thought I'd drop you a line and see if you have any suggestions for this article, or for other places to look for sources. I've structured it after
Manchester Cenotaph, and would welcome any feedback you have—one thought that has crossed my mind would be to perhaps include some information on those named on the memorial, although this doesn't seem to be something that you generally do in your articles. Thanks, --
Usernameunique (
talk) 14:28, 23 March 2020 (UTC)reply
Lead is a little brief for an article of this size, there's nothing about the design for example. My rule of thumb is cover the most pertinent part of each major section in brief in the lead.
Added a second paragraph, how does it look now?
"listed building.[1][2]" this, presumably, is referenced in the article so need for the citations in the lead.
Removed. That was a holdover from when the article was a stub, which I forgot to update.
"by 1918, the village had only 650 residents" why? Not dead, but serving still? Or something else?
Ah I see. I think this sentence would be better off in the next para after you explain the reasons for the decline.
Done.
"For Soldiers from East Knoyle killed in war" why the capital S?
Changed. I initially capitalized "soldiers" since it is the first word in the infobox template ("commemorates = Soldiers from East Knoyle killed in war"), without noticing the resulting error.
"had cut his teeth" not encyclopedic in tone.
Changed ("Maryon had established himself")
" University of Reading likewise tapped him" overlinked, and "tapped him" again doesn't feel encyclopedic in tone.
Removed link, and changed word ("likewise commissioned him").
"plinth sits, and a thin, tapering shaft that rises 16 feet (4.9 m) from the plinth" quick repeat of plinth.
Reworded: "It comprises a three-stepped square base set beneath a square plinth, from which a thin, tapering shaft rises 16 feet (4.9 m) and terminates in a small
wheel cross."
St Mary's Church is overlinked.
Fixed.
""East Knoyle - Cross"" en-dash.
Sure.
National Heritage List for England is overlinked.
Those links come automatically with the NHLE citation template.
"9, 557" is that 9,557 or something else? Likewise 10, 338.
No worries. Two more things. The article says "at least 20" died yet exactly 20 are named, the lead is precise. Secondly, a Bible verse is mentioned in the lead but not noted or expanded in the main part. Do we know what verse? Then we're done. Cheers!
The Rambling Man (
Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 18:41, 6 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the heads up,
The Rambling Man—indeed, I forgot to watch this page. The bible verse is covered by the line in "Design" that "
John 15:13 is inscribed to its left". Do you think we need to clarify that John 15:13 is a bible verse? I've also added a footnote after the "at least 20" which explains the discrepancy; how does it look?
No need at all to apologize for "being a pain"; I intend on bringing this to FAC after here, so the attention to detail is particularly appreciated. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 21:00, 7 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Usernameunique looks good (and sorry for the John oversight, my bad). I'll promote now as this is easily GA quality. Let me know if you have anything else in the pipeline that needs review. Cheers.
The Rambling Man (
Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 21:05, 7 April 2020 (UTC)reply
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
this nomination's talk page,
the article's talk page or
Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by
Cwmhiraeth (
talk) 06:15, 22 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the review,
CeeGee. I've given the article another read through (and added another hook). As far as character count goes, the (pictured)is not included, which brings to 197 and 200 characters for ALT0 and ALT1, respectively—just within the limit. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 01:52, 28 March 2020 (UTC)reply
Yes, you are right with the exclusion of "(pictured)" in hook's word count. Sorry about that. Everything is fine now for the original hook. Good to go.
CeeGee 07:45, 28 March 2020 (UTC)reply
The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that among those commemorated by the East Knoyle War Memorial are three brothers who died in the First World War, twelve soldiers killed in the Second, and one
killed by friendly fire in the Iraq War?
Current status: Good article
This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following
WikiProjects:
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Architecture, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Architecture on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.ArchitectureWikipedia:WikiProject ArchitectureTemplate:WikiProject ArchitectureArchitecture articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Death, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Death on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.DeathWikipedia:WikiProject DeathTemplate:WikiProject DeathDeath articles
This article is within the scope of the Military history WikiProject. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project and see a
list of open tasks. To use this banner, please see the
full instructions.Military historyWikipedia:WikiProject Military historyTemplate:WikiProject Military historymilitary history articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Visual arts, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
visual arts on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Visual artsWikipedia:WikiProject Visual artsTemplate:WikiProject Visual artsvisual arts articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Sculpture, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Sculpture on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.SculptureWikipedia:WikiProject SculptureTemplate:WikiProject Sculpturesculpture articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Wiltshire, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Wiltshire on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.WiltshireWikipedia:WikiProject WiltshireTemplate:WikiProject WiltshireWiltshire articles
HJ Mitchell, since war memorials seem to be within your wheelhouse, I thought I'd drop you a line and see if you have any suggestions for this article, or for other places to look for sources. I've structured it after
Manchester Cenotaph, and would welcome any feedback you have—one thought that has crossed my mind would be to perhaps include some information on those named on the memorial, although this doesn't seem to be something that you generally do in your articles. Thanks, --
Usernameunique (
talk) 14:28, 23 March 2020 (UTC)reply
Lead is a little brief for an article of this size, there's nothing about the design for example. My rule of thumb is cover the most pertinent part of each major section in brief in the lead.
Added a second paragraph, how does it look now?
"listed building.[1][2]" this, presumably, is referenced in the article so need for the citations in the lead.
Removed. That was a holdover from when the article was a stub, which I forgot to update.
"by 1918, the village had only 650 residents" why? Not dead, but serving still? Or something else?
Ah I see. I think this sentence would be better off in the next para after you explain the reasons for the decline.
Done.
"For Soldiers from East Knoyle killed in war" why the capital S?
Changed. I initially capitalized "soldiers" since it is the first word in the infobox template ("commemorates = Soldiers from East Knoyle killed in war"), without noticing the resulting error.
"had cut his teeth" not encyclopedic in tone.
Changed ("Maryon had established himself")
" University of Reading likewise tapped him" overlinked, and "tapped him" again doesn't feel encyclopedic in tone.
Removed link, and changed word ("likewise commissioned him").
"plinth sits, and a thin, tapering shaft that rises 16 feet (4.9 m) from the plinth" quick repeat of plinth.
Reworded: "It comprises a three-stepped square base set beneath a square plinth, from which a thin, tapering shaft rises 16 feet (4.9 m) and terminates in a small
wheel cross."
St Mary's Church is overlinked.
Fixed.
""East Knoyle - Cross"" en-dash.
Sure.
National Heritage List for England is overlinked.
Those links come automatically with the NHLE citation template.
"9, 557" is that 9,557 or something else? Likewise 10, 338.
No worries. Two more things. The article says "at least 20" died yet exactly 20 are named, the lead is precise. Secondly, a Bible verse is mentioned in the lead but not noted or expanded in the main part. Do we know what verse? Then we're done. Cheers!
The Rambling Man (
Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 18:41, 6 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the heads up,
The Rambling Man—indeed, I forgot to watch this page. The bible verse is covered by the line in "Design" that "
John 15:13 is inscribed to its left". Do you think we need to clarify that John 15:13 is a bible verse? I've also added a footnote after the "at least 20" which explains the discrepancy; how does it look?
No need at all to apologize for "being a pain"; I intend on bringing this to FAC after here, so the attention to detail is particularly appreciated. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 21:00, 7 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Usernameunique looks good (and sorry for the John oversight, my bad). I'll promote now as this is easily GA quality. Let me know if you have anything else in the pipeline that needs review. Cheers.
The Rambling Man (
Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 21:05, 7 April 2020 (UTC)reply
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
this nomination's talk page,
the article's talk page or
Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by
Cwmhiraeth (
talk) 06:15, 22 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the review,
CeeGee. I've given the article another read through (and added another hook). As far as character count goes, the (pictured)is not included, which brings to 197 and 200 characters for ALT0 and ALT1, respectively—just within the limit. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 01:52, 28 March 2020 (UTC)reply
Yes, you are right with the exclusion of "(pictured)" in hook's word count. Sorry about that. Everything is fine now for the original hook. Good to go.
CeeGee 07:45, 28 March 2020 (UTC)reply