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Nominator: Arberian2444 ( talk · contribs) 22:46, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
Nominator: Arberian2444 ( talk · contribs) 22:46, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Fritzmann2002 ( talk · contribs) 17:51, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
Arberian2444, I'll be taking this review and should have it completed by the end of the day!
Fritzmann (
message me)
17:51, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
General Prose
- Changed to "and the Navarrese Company, which was under the command of Louis of Évreux"
- Changed to "Louis of Évreux had hired the Navarrese Company to support him in reclaiming his newly acquired rights over Durazzo and the Kingdom of Albania, inherited through his marriage to Joanna, Duchess of Durazzo."
- Changed to "Joanna, Duchess of Durazzo, inherited the rights to the Kingdom of Albania upon her father Charles, Duke of Durazzo's death, and subsequently ruled as a duchess."
- Yes they are different ways to say the name of the city but Durrës is the native name so I will be using that.
- Changed to "Durrës was the last stronghold of the Angevins, who maintained control over the kingdom until Karl Thopia conquered the city, leading to the disestablishment of the Kingdom of Albania."
- Changed to "After this event, Louis made various attempts to expel the intruders from Durrës and Albania as a whole. However, detailed records of these attempts have been lost over time, leaving little documentation of his efforts."
- Changed to "The final effort by Louis of Évreux to assert his claim to the Kingdom of Albania and restore its rule began in the early 1370s."
- Deleted this sentence
- Deleted this sentence
- Changed to "However, scant information is available regarding the Albanian expedition overall."
- I removed Navarre Company and it only states the Navarrese Company
- Changed to "The Navarrese Company was led by four individuals: Pedro de la Saga and Mahiot de Coquerel, both chamberlains of the Navarrese king; John de Urtubia; and Garro (or Guarro), who is documented as a squire."
- Changed to "The battle began in the midsummer of 1376, and Louis and the Navarrese Company were successful in occupying Durrës, which officially reestablished the Kingdom of Albania."
- Fixed to "After Louis of Évreux and the Navarrese Company succeeded in gaining back Durrës and reestablishing the Kingdom of Albania, Louis of Évreux died shortly after in the same year."
- Fixed to "Durrës remained under the control of Joanna, Duchess of Durazzo, and her second husband Robert IV of Artois, for a few years until Karl Thopia invaded in 1383, leading to the final disestablishment of the Kingdom of Albania."
- Changed it to help the brevity and flow
Content
- Added onto it with "Following their successful occupation of Durrës, the Navarrese Company faced challenges after Louis's death, eventually relocating to Morea under new leadership. Meanwhile, Durrës remained contested until Karl Thopia's invasion in 1383, which led to the final disestablishment of the Kingdom of Albania."
- The Kingdom of Albania was ruled by the Angevins while the Principality of Albania was ruled by the Albanian Thopia family.
- Changed it to "The final effort by Louis of Évreux to assert his claim to the Kingdom of Albania and restore its rule began in the early 1370s."
- Deleted Sentence
- Changed to "Additional soldiers were recruited into the ranks of the Navarrese Company, primarily bolstering their numbers by 1375–1376, most of whom hailed from Navarre." And removed Chief contingents from sentence.
- Removed that sentence
- I found a source that states that France gave Louis 50,000 ducats and his brother helped him militarily by helping him acquire the kingdom
- The Midsummer would by around Late June to early July
- Yes that is why I want to change the title to either the Expedition of Durrës
Referencing
- Removed that Sentence
- Changed to "Louis enlisted four companies of knights from Navarre, known as the Navarrese Company, to support his claim and captured Durrës by 1376."
- Changed to "Louis garnered substantial support from his brother Charles II of Navarre who was the King of Navarre and from Charles V of France who was the King of France."
- Changed to "However, detailed records of these attempts have been lost over time, leaving little documentation of his efforts."
- I could remove some from those said statements
Summary This article requires major work to achieve Good Article status. It needs to be comprehensively rewritten to avoid plagiarism and close paraphrasing, as well as meet the quality of writing that is required for GA. I am also dubious of the broadness of the article, as there is no mention of the Battle of Durazzo in an article on the Battle of Durazzo. I will place the review on hold to allow the author time to respond, and am happy to help if they desire assistance in rewriting anything or in moving this article towards a GA pass. Fritzmann ( message me) 18:23, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
Final Sweep I have rewritten the lead and done copyediting for clarity and conciseness for the body of the article. Parts of the Battle (Expedition) section seemed to be out of order, so I have switched up a few sentences. Per your suggestion, I also moved it to Durres Expedition which seems much more fitting. In the last round, I looked for close paraphrasing and I think we have gotten most of it; a second sweep shows the article is much improved after your edits. The extensive quotes in the notes section allowed easy verification of source-text integrity, and I am eschewing spot checks for the few non-quoted sources on good faith. At this point, I have just two concerns:
One those two things are taken care of, I will give the article one last read of the article, and hopefully all will be good and I can promote! My apologies for the radio silence over the last few days, I have been travelling over the 4th of July holiday weekend. Fritzmann ( message me) 01:04, 9 July 2024 (UTC)
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Nominator: Arberian2444 ( talk · contribs) 22:46, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
Nominator: Arberian2444 ( talk · contribs) 22:46, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Fritzmann2002 ( talk · contribs) 17:51, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
Arberian2444, I'll be taking this review and should have it completed by the end of the day!
Fritzmann (
message me)
17:51, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
General Prose
- Changed to "and the Navarrese Company, which was under the command of Louis of Évreux"
- Changed to "Louis of Évreux had hired the Navarrese Company to support him in reclaiming his newly acquired rights over Durazzo and the Kingdom of Albania, inherited through his marriage to Joanna, Duchess of Durazzo."
- Changed to "Joanna, Duchess of Durazzo, inherited the rights to the Kingdom of Albania upon her father Charles, Duke of Durazzo's death, and subsequently ruled as a duchess."
- Yes they are different ways to say the name of the city but Durrës is the native name so I will be using that.
- Changed to "Durrës was the last stronghold of the Angevins, who maintained control over the kingdom until Karl Thopia conquered the city, leading to the disestablishment of the Kingdom of Albania."
- Changed to "After this event, Louis made various attempts to expel the intruders from Durrës and Albania as a whole. However, detailed records of these attempts have been lost over time, leaving little documentation of his efforts."
- Changed to "The final effort by Louis of Évreux to assert his claim to the Kingdom of Albania and restore its rule began in the early 1370s."
- Deleted this sentence
- Deleted this sentence
- Changed to "However, scant information is available regarding the Albanian expedition overall."
- I removed Navarre Company and it only states the Navarrese Company
- Changed to "The Navarrese Company was led by four individuals: Pedro de la Saga and Mahiot de Coquerel, both chamberlains of the Navarrese king; John de Urtubia; and Garro (or Guarro), who is documented as a squire."
- Changed to "The battle began in the midsummer of 1376, and Louis and the Navarrese Company were successful in occupying Durrës, which officially reestablished the Kingdom of Albania."
- Fixed to "After Louis of Évreux and the Navarrese Company succeeded in gaining back Durrës and reestablishing the Kingdom of Albania, Louis of Évreux died shortly after in the same year."
- Fixed to "Durrës remained under the control of Joanna, Duchess of Durazzo, and her second husband Robert IV of Artois, for a few years until Karl Thopia invaded in 1383, leading to the final disestablishment of the Kingdom of Albania."
- Changed it to help the brevity and flow
Content
- Added onto it with "Following their successful occupation of Durrës, the Navarrese Company faced challenges after Louis's death, eventually relocating to Morea under new leadership. Meanwhile, Durrës remained contested until Karl Thopia's invasion in 1383, which led to the final disestablishment of the Kingdom of Albania."
- The Kingdom of Albania was ruled by the Angevins while the Principality of Albania was ruled by the Albanian Thopia family.
- Changed it to "The final effort by Louis of Évreux to assert his claim to the Kingdom of Albania and restore its rule began in the early 1370s."
- Deleted Sentence
- Changed to "Additional soldiers were recruited into the ranks of the Navarrese Company, primarily bolstering their numbers by 1375–1376, most of whom hailed from Navarre." And removed Chief contingents from sentence.
- Removed that sentence
- I found a source that states that France gave Louis 50,000 ducats and his brother helped him militarily by helping him acquire the kingdom
- The Midsummer would by around Late June to early July
- Yes that is why I want to change the title to either the Expedition of Durrës
Referencing
- Removed that Sentence
- Changed to "Louis enlisted four companies of knights from Navarre, known as the Navarrese Company, to support his claim and captured Durrës by 1376."
- Changed to "Louis garnered substantial support from his brother Charles II of Navarre who was the King of Navarre and from Charles V of France who was the King of France."
- Changed to "However, detailed records of these attempts have been lost over time, leaving little documentation of his efforts."
- I could remove some from those said statements
Summary This article requires major work to achieve Good Article status. It needs to be comprehensively rewritten to avoid plagiarism and close paraphrasing, as well as meet the quality of writing that is required for GA. I am also dubious of the broadness of the article, as there is no mention of the Battle of Durazzo in an article on the Battle of Durazzo. I will place the review on hold to allow the author time to respond, and am happy to help if they desire assistance in rewriting anything or in moving this article towards a GA pass. Fritzmann ( message me) 18:23, 27 June 2024 (UTC)
Final Sweep I have rewritten the lead and done copyediting for clarity and conciseness for the body of the article. Parts of the Battle (Expedition) section seemed to be out of order, so I have switched up a few sentences. Per your suggestion, I also moved it to Durres Expedition which seems much more fitting. In the last round, I looked for close paraphrasing and I think we have gotten most of it; a second sweep shows the article is much improved after your edits. The extensive quotes in the notes section allowed easy verification of source-text integrity, and I am eschewing spot checks for the few non-quoted sources on good faith. At this point, I have just two concerns:
One those two things are taken care of, I will give the article one last read of the article, and hopefully all will be good and I can promote! My apologies for the radio silence over the last few days, I have been travelling over the 4th of July holiday weekend. Fritzmann ( message me) 01:04, 9 July 2024 (UTC)