The article has indeed improved a lot from the last time. Nice work. I only sampled the lead section, and will do some copyediting shortly. I plan to deliver my verdict this weekend after a more thorough check. Cheers.--
Artoasis (
talk)
14:48, 1 June 2011 (UTC)reply
I did some ce for the lead to make it more concise. I also took out the last sentence — Radcliffe is an atheist and also suffers from a mild form of the neurological disorder dyspraxia. An "atheist" and some "neurological disorder" sounded a little weird together. If you think they are essential information for the lead, please consider rewording the sentence before adding it back. I will finish the rest of the article by the weekend.
Thanks! I think the lead looks better now then it did before.
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have
fair use rationales:
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
I have completed my review with some ce, and all the issues I raised have been addressed by Crystal Clear. Congratulations, it is a GA now, :) --
Artoasis (
talk)
15:09, 5 June 2011 (UTC)reply
The article has indeed improved a lot from the last time. Nice work. I only sampled the lead section, and will do some copyediting shortly. I plan to deliver my verdict this weekend after a more thorough check. Cheers.--
Artoasis (
talk)
14:48, 1 June 2011 (UTC)reply
I did some ce for the lead to make it more concise. I also took out the last sentence — Radcliffe is an atheist and also suffers from a mild form of the neurological disorder dyspraxia. An "atheist" and some "neurological disorder" sounded a little weird together. If you think they are essential information for the lead, please consider rewording the sentence before adding it back. I will finish the rest of the article by the weekend.
Thanks! I think the lead looks better now then it did before.
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have
fair use rationales:
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
I have completed my review with some ce, and all the issues I raised have been addressed by Crystal Clear. Congratulations, it is a GA now, :) --
Artoasis (
talk)
15:09, 5 June 2011 (UTC)reply