I'll take a look and make straightforward copyedits as I go (please revert if I accidentally change the meaning!) and jot notes below
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 19:54, 27 November 2017 (UTC)reply
Lead is a bit slim
What do you suggest I add? I think it's reasonably long for an article that has nearly 6k prose size
Maybe it's just because I am looking at it on a widescreen - yeah not sure either. Need ot think about this
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 15:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Alright, I expanded this a tad bit by adding his frequent collaboration with his wife. Let me know what's up.
Slightlymad 11:31, 2 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Try to minimise (if possible) the number of paragraphs that start with "Gilroy..."
Done
Dan Gilroy recalled growing up "in a house where our father was a working writer and working at home. We got to see him write, and that demystified the process of becoming a writer." - rewrite and paraphrase without quoting.
Done
The Career section is a bit listy. It would greatly benefit from any other information or fleshing out of his involvement with each or any movie. Any extra sourceable material here would be great.
I've added some blurb about his new film, though I couldn't really find coverage of his involvement on those films he had previously written as a screenwriter.
Slightlymad 14:06, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Hmm, a pity - I keep thinking there must be something out there....
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 15:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
as the previous cut had lay much emphasis on the characters - grammar? "lain"?
I suppose that's correct, changed.
Slightlymad 14:59, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Hi Casliber, can I get a status update on the review? Did you want me to expand it further with regard to the remaining issues?
Slightlymad 05:02, 5 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Sorry, I meanto to have a look myself to see whether there was anything out there to add. Hang on....
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 05:13, 5 December 2017 (UTC) bleh, you're right...nothing coming up.
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 05:21, 5 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Major aspects: (in an ideal world, there'd be some more background on some earlier movies but then, are we surprised that Freejack has been well and truly forgotten about by everybody?
I'll take a look and make straightforward copyedits as I go (please revert if I accidentally change the meaning!) and jot notes below
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 19:54, 27 November 2017 (UTC)reply
Lead is a bit slim
What do you suggest I add? I think it's reasonably long for an article that has nearly 6k prose size
Maybe it's just because I am looking at it on a widescreen - yeah not sure either. Need ot think about this
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 15:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Alright, I expanded this a tad bit by adding his frequent collaboration with his wife. Let me know what's up.
Slightlymad 11:31, 2 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Try to minimise (if possible) the number of paragraphs that start with "Gilroy..."
Done
Dan Gilroy recalled growing up "in a house where our father was a working writer and working at home. We got to see him write, and that demystified the process of becoming a writer." - rewrite and paraphrase without quoting.
Done
The Career section is a bit listy. It would greatly benefit from any other information or fleshing out of his involvement with each or any movie. Any extra sourceable material here would be great.
I've added some blurb about his new film, though I couldn't really find coverage of his involvement on those films he had previously written as a screenwriter.
Slightlymad 14:06, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Hmm, a pity - I keep thinking there must be something out there....
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 15:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
as the previous cut had lay much emphasis on the characters - grammar? "lain"?
I suppose that's correct, changed.
Slightlymad 14:59, 1 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Hi Casliber, can I get a status update on the review? Did you want me to expand it further with regard to the remaining issues?
Slightlymad 05:02, 5 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Sorry, I meanto to have a look myself to see whether there was anything out there to add. Hang on....
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 05:13, 5 December 2017 (UTC) bleh, you're right...nothing coming up.
Cas Liber (
talk·contribs) 05:21, 5 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Major aspects: (in an ideal world, there'd be some more background on some earlier movies but then, are we surprised that Freejack has been well and truly forgotten about by everybody?