![]() | Cyclone Kelvin has been listed as one of the
Natural sciences good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: May 29, 2021. ( Reviewed version). |
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I am not sure if this is enough for GAN, given that the most of this article is based on a single source. Mario Jump 83! 09:36, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: KN2731 ( talk · contribs) 05:29, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this. At a glance, the prose has much room for improvement, especially in the lead and impacts section. I also notice the impacts contain a lot of rainfall totals with little mention of why each of them is notable (and thus worthy of inclusion). Aside from that, the use of km/h or kph isn't consistent and should be fixed. ~
KN2731 {
talk ·
contribs}
05:29, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
Lead
Property damage was sustained at Broome and Nita Downs, where the cyclone made landfall, as well as infrastructural damage to the Great Northern Highway and was cut off as a result of the heavy rainfall and flooding, leading to shortage of supplies and the repairs was estimated to take months.This is a very, very long sentence, and the sentence structure is all over the place. What was cut off? Broome and Nita Downs? And how so? Were the repairs to the highway or to property damage? What is causing what here?
Pastoralist stations were heavily affected by the cyclone, including Anna Plains Station, which was sustaining property damages as well, and Mandora Station, which flooded the half of entire station.Firstly, "Pastoralist" is a noun meaning someone who farms sheep or cattle. I think the word you're looking for here is "pastoral". Next: "was sustaining" should be simply "sustained" (past tense for damage that occurred in the past). Property damage was the effect of Kelvin on Anna Plains Station, the words "as well" indicate some additional form of damage and should be scrapped. Lastly, "which flooded the half of entire station" reads like a word is in the wrong place.
Meteorological history
the period of rapid intensification that had been forecast finally eventuated.There's no earlier mention of RI being forecast, so this seems somewhat out of place.
local time on the following dayimplies AWST but it would be best to clarify that.
Impacts
Repeated impact also caused exhaustionWhat does "repeated impact" mean? The deluge of cyclones during the season or responding to multiple calls during one cyclone? Also, is "exhaustion" used just to indicate feelings of tiredness or in the medical sense?
Infrastructural damage in excess of AUS$16 million (US$12.7 million) also occurred along the Great Northern Highway due to the heavy rainfall and flooding,[21][20] causing some parts of the highway to be closed, especially in Willare Roadhouse and Sandfire Roadhouse, as well as a road between Broome and Roebuck Plains.[2]There are a couple of things wrong with this sentence. First, Willare and Sandfire Roadhouses are fuel stations and thus point locations, not regions. The source states that parts of the highway between the two roadhouses were closed, not at the two roadhouses as the sentence currently implies. Furthermore, "a road between Broome and Roebuck Plains" is still part of the highway according to the source.
Cutting off several towns in the Kimberley region for some time, flooding led into shortage of food supplies.Sentence fragment, needs to be reworded for flow.
It is estimated that due to repeated impacts from previous cyclones, which led into road infrastructure being weakened, repairs were estimated to take months."Estimated" is unnecessarily repeated, "led into" should be "led to", and if you read carefully the source specifies that it was previous repairs to road infrastructure that were weakened, not road infrastructure in general.
References
|website=ABC News|publisher=Australian Broadcasting Corporation
into |work=ABC News
.
Mario
Jump
83!
09:17, 16 May 2021 (UTC)The prose is somewhat disjointed and doesn't flow very well, especially in the lead and impacts section. If you have difficulties addressing the prose issues (I do note you mention on your user page that your level of English is intermediate), you may want to request for a copyedit or ping someone to help out. There are also some verifiability issues but those shouldn't be too hard to fix. ~ KN2731 { talk · contribs} 05:29, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
Couple more things:
Nearly there @ MarioJump83:, just a few things left to work through. ~ KN2731 { talk · contribs} 02:38, 26 May 2021 (UTC)
Passing, well done. Hope your finals went smoothly, MarioJump83. ~ KN2731 { talk · contribs} 03:36, 29 May 2021 (UTC)
![]() | Cyclone Kelvin has been listed as one of the
Natural sciences good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: May 29, 2021. ( Reviewed version). |
![]() | This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I am not sure if this is enough for GAN, given that the most of this article is based on a single source. Mario Jump 83! 09:36, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Reviewer: KN2731 ( talk · contribs) 05:29, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this. At a glance, the prose has much room for improvement, especially in the lead and impacts section. I also notice the impacts contain a lot of rainfall totals with little mention of why each of them is notable (and thus worthy of inclusion). Aside from that, the use of km/h or kph isn't consistent and should be fixed. ~
KN2731 {
talk ·
contribs}
05:29, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
Lead
Property damage was sustained at Broome and Nita Downs, where the cyclone made landfall, as well as infrastructural damage to the Great Northern Highway and was cut off as a result of the heavy rainfall and flooding, leading to shortage of supplies and the repairs was estimated to take months.This is a very, very long sentence, and the sentence structure is all over the place. What was cut off? Broome and Nita Downs? And how so? Were the repairs to the highway or to property damage? What is causing what here?
Pastoralist stations were heavily affected by the cyclone, including Anna Plains Station, which was sustaining property damages as well, and Mandora Station, which flooded the half of entire station.Firstly, "Pastoralist" is a noun meaning someone who farms sheep or cattle. I think the word you're looking for here is "pastoral". Next: "was sustaining" should be simply "sustained" (past tense for damage that occurred in the past). Property damage was the effect of Kelvin on Anna Plains Station, the words "as well" indicate some additional form of damage and should be scrapped. Lastly, "which flooded the half of entire station" reads like a word is in the wrong place.
Meteorological history
the period of rapid intensification that had been forecast finally eventuated.There's no earlier mention of RI being forecast, so this seems somewhat out of place.
local time on the following dayimplies AWST but it would be best to clarify that.
Impacts
Repeated impact also caused exhaustionWhat does "repeated impact" mean? The deluge of cyclones during the season or responding to multiple calls during one cyclone? Also, is "exhaustion" used just to indicate feelings of tiredness or in the medical sense?
Infrastructural damage in excess of AUS$16 million (US$12.7 million) also occurred along the Great Northern Highway due to the heavy rainfall and flooding,[21][20] causing some parts of the highway to be closed, especially in Willare Roadhouse and Sandfire Roadhouse, as well as a road between Broome and Roebuck Plains.[2]There are a couple of things wrong with this sentence. First, Willare and Sandfire Roadhouses are fuel stations and thus point locations, not regions. The source states that parts of the highway between the two roadhouses were closed, not at the two roadhouses as the sentence currently implies. Furthermore, "a road between Broome and Roebuck Plains" is still part of the highway according to the source.
Cutting off several towns in the Kimberley region for some time, flooding led into shortage of food supplies.Sentence fragment, needs to be reworded for flow.
It is estimated that due to repeated impacts from previous cyclones, which led into road infrastructure being weakened, repairs were estimated to take months."Estimated" is unnecessarily repeated, "led into" should be "led to", and if you read carefully the source specifies that it was previous repairs to road infrastructure that were weakened, not road infrastructure in general.
References
|website=ABC News|publisher=Australian Broadcasting Corporation
into |work=ABC News
.
Mario
Jump
83!
09:17, 16 May 2021 (UTC)The prose is somewhat disjointed and doesn't flow very well, especially in the lead and impacts section. If you have difficulties addressing the prose issues (I do note you mention on your user page that your level of English is intermediate), you may want to request for a copyedit or ping someone to help out. There are also some verifiability issues but those shouldn't be too hard to fix. ~ KN2731 { talk · contribs} 05:29, 15 May 2021 (UTC)
Couple more things:
Nearly there @ MarioJump83:, just a few things left to work through. ~ KN2731 { talk · contribs} 02:38, 26 May 2021 (UTC)
Passing, well done. Hope your finals went smoothly, MarioJump83. ~ KN2731 { talk · contribs} 03:36, 29 May 2021 (UTC)