The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Adog ( talk · contribs) 07:46, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Hello! Sticking with a new category for GAN. I will take on this review fully by Monday, August 14 or Tuesday, August 15. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 07:46, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
As with my review on Talk:Big (Rita Ora, David Guetta and Imanbek song)/GA1, I did my homework and listened to the song. I will say I like this song's beat and flow. The music video was pretty wholesome...up until the DEA scene. Anyways, for my reviews, I do a first skim through the prose regarding sentence structure and grammar for the editor-at-large. If you feel these suggestions are improper or not appropriate for the text, please disregard them:
Cole recruited TLC ...
... embracing one's flaws and self-acceptance.
Focus was placed ...is a bit awkward. I believe this is still about the reviewers, so maybe it could be worded as:
Reviewers focused on his ....
... his authentic message and some critics ...Comma before "and"?
The song peaked at number 27 on the US Billboard Hot 100, alongside reaching ...I would omit "alongside" as it does not add to the sentence.
... and British Phonographic Industry (BPI), respectively.Missing "the" before "British".
The music video depicts Cole as a marijuana dealer and he celebrates his sister's birthday with their family, until the Drug Enforcement Administration raid the house and kill her.I would add a comma before "and" and remove the one after "family" for flow.
... police raid, whose mother Dominika Jones was grateful for the scene.I believe this phrase is missing commas before and after "Dominika Jones".
After achieving success ...
She understood that the song's message is what the group stand for ..."stood" instead of "stand"?
Musically, "Crooked Smile" is a hip hop and R&B ballad, with elements of dance music.I would consider removing the comma after "ballad".
TLC reply to those who had tried to bring them down ..."replies" instead of "reply"?
Background
7-year-old.
Despite being featured on the song, TLC do not appear ..."Does" instead of "do".
Synopsis and accolades
He is eventually revealed as a marijuana dealer, and sets the stage for a DEA raid on his home during the night. The raid occurs following the depiction of the agent's planning, drawing parallels to the police raid that took place in 2010.
At the 2013 BET Awards, Cole performed the song solo as he sat on a stool and ...I would consider adding a comma before "and".
He was flanked by a live band and two female back-up singers, who sang the hook"backup" instead of "back-up" and remove comma after "singers"?
Cole performed the song with TLC at the 2013 iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas, standing as their first joint performance and the ...Possibly adding another comma before "and", as it is lengthy.
Cole wore a leather jacket and a hat facing backwards ...Singular "backward" instead of "backwards"?
The first skim-through was really nice! Onto a full read. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 06:22, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
... later singing it with ...
"Crooked Smile" was later released ...
... instead of being conformist."instead of being a conformist"?
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewing |
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visual edit |
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Reviewer: Adog ( talk · contribs) 07:46, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
Hello! Sticking with a new category for GAN. I will take on this review fully by Monday, August 14 or Tuesday, August 15. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 07:46, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
As with my review on Talk:Big (Rita Ora, David Guetta and Imanbek song)/GA1, I did my homework and listened to the song. I will say I like this song's beat and flow. The music video was pretty wholesome...up until the DEA scene. Anyways, for my reviews, I do a first skim through the prose regarding sentence structure and grammar for the editor-at-large. If you feel these suggestions are improper or not appropriate for the text, please disregard them:
Cole recruited TLC ...
... embracing one's flaws and self-acceptance.
Focus was placed ...is a bit awkward. I believe this is still about the reviewers, so maybe it could be worded as:
Reviewers focused on his ....
... his authentic message and some critics ...Comma before "and"?
The song peaked at number 27 on the US Billboard Hot 100, alongside reaching ...I would omit "alongside" as it does not add to the sentence.
... and British Phonographic Industry (BPI), respectively.Missing "the" before "British".
The music video depicts Cole as a marijuana dealer and he celebrates his sister's birthday with their family, until the Drug Enforcement Administration raid the house and kill her.I would add a comma before "and" and remove the one after "family" for flow.
... police raid, whose mother Dominika Jones was grateful for the scene.I believe this phrase is missing commas before and after "Dominika Jones".
After achieving success ...
She understood that the song's message is what the group stand for ..."stood" instead of "stand"?
Musically, "Crooked Smile" is a hip hop and R&B ballad, with elements of dance music.I would consider removing the comma after "ballad".
TLC reply to those who had tried to bring them down ..."replies" instead of "reply"?
Background
7-year-old.
Despite being featured on the song, TLC do not appear ..."Does" instead of "do".
Synopsis and accolades
He is eventually revealed as a marijuana dealer, and sets the stage for a DEA raid on his home during the night. The raid occurs following the depiction of the agent's planning, drawing parallels to the police raid that took place in 2010.
At the 2013 BET Awards, Cole performed the song solo as he sat on a stool and ...I would consider adding a comma before "and".
He was flanked by a live band and two female back-up singers, who sang the hook"backup" instead of "back-up" and remove comma after "singers"?
Cole performed the song with TLC at the 2013 iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas, standing as their first joint performance and the ...Possibly adding another comma before "and", as it is lengthy.
Cole wore a leather jacket and a hat facing backwards ...Singular "backward" instead of "backwards"?
The first skim-through was really nice! Onto a full read. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 06:22, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
... later singing it with ...
"Crooked Smile" was later released ...
... instead of being conformist."instead of being a conformist"?