You described Eucidaris thouarsii as a scraper before you had described what a scraper is. I'd say you should put the Types of corallivory and Feeding strategies sections directly after Etymology User:Dunkleosteus77 |
push to talk04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)reply
Thank you for your thoughtful review and sorry again for the delay. Here we go:
Changes made to article:
Added DOIs. Couldn't find one for citation #8.
Added definition of facultative corallivore to "Types" section, deleted line about facultative/obligate in the lead, its probably better without it.
Turned etymology section into a complete sentence.
Moved "corallivory in nature" section and made "impacts on ecosystem" a subsection. Definitely a better flow, thanks for that observation.
Added citation for Eucidaris thouarsii sentence.
Fixed table.
changed Arothron meleagris to golden pufferfish.
Added more context to the sentence concerning radulas.
Additional comments:
Regarding your question about the organism observed by Cousteau, I don't know right now. I'll try to dive deeper into that and see if I can find the genesis of that fact.
Thanks for your tips on linking science words and using convert
The organisms discussed in the "in nature" section were based off of what was present in the literature I had available and had citations to support. Most organisms included are significant in their local environment for their corallivory and some are cases that readers might find interesting, such as the crabs that keep coral clean to eat mucus.
Thats a good suggestion, I will take a deeper look into Darwin and Cousteau's experiences and see what I can find and will try to create a "History" section.
I changed the sentence about butterflyfish to make it connect with the material in the "Feeding strategies" section without overlapping. I removed all examples from the "Feeding strategies" section and moved anything relevant to the "In nature" section to make a clearer distinction between content.
This article is written in American English. If you notice any grammar that needs improvement, let me know. I did have some trouble writing the etymology section, wasn't sure what the best verbiage would be.
As for the scientific names, this is one of the first projects I worked on for Wikipedia, so there are a few things I would do differently if I wrote it today. I think I was thinking that not all of the organisms would have a common name (such as the Drupella snails), so to stay consistent I used scientific names for all the organisms. I see now that that is probably not the most accessible for our readers, so I'll go through and change all the scientific names to common names, as applicable.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk21:26, 17 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Aug 19 update
I have removed the sentences regarding Darwin and Cousteau from the lead, since there is no supporting information in the body. I did a quick look around to find more about those encounters, but wasn't able to find much of anything, so for now I'll leave it out. I will try at a later date to build a history section including those encounters if I can find additional sources to support.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk19:26, 19 August 2018 (UTC)reply
I'll take a look into that. I know that certain organisms have adaptations to facilitate corallivory, like strong teeth or strong digestive enzymes. I'll see what I can add.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk02:14, 21 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Added everything I could find on adaptations. During that time, I found the original source about Darwin's discovery of corallivory, so I'll add that in later tonight and ping you when its all ready.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk23:10, 26 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Okay that's good. Also you don't have to keep repeating the same reference after every sentence in a paragraph (so instead of, "Bioeroders consume dead coral substrate.[1] Bioeroders are thought to help reshape coral reef landscapes by eroding dead corals.[1]," it's just, "Bioeroders consume dead coral substrate. Bioeroders are thought to help reshape coral reef landscapes by eroding dead corals.[1]"), so long as it's clear which ref was used for a sentence it's fine User:Dunkleosteus77 |
push to talk23:18, 26 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the feedback. I personally like to do it that way so it is easier for editors to add or move sentences in the future; I find it more difficult to add to people's work when its unclear exactly what content is covered by which citation.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk23:27, 26 August 2018 (UTC)reply
What year did Darwin do this, and while you’re there you’re missing a space before ship’s name, and after that, that about wraps it up. Good job and good luck on your next marine project User:Dunkleosteus77 |
push to talk03:56, 27 August 2018 (UTC)reply
You described Eucidaris thouarsii as a scraper before you had described what a scraper is. I'd say you should put the Types of corallivory and Feeding strategies sections directly after Etymology User:Dunkleosteus77 |
push to talk04:50, 20 July 2018 (UTC)reply
Thank you for your thoughtful review and sorry again for the delay. Here we go:
Changes made to article:
Added DOIs. Couldn't find one for citation #8.
Added definition of facultative corallivore to "Types" section, deleted line about facultative/obligate in the lead, its probably better without it.
Turned etymology section into a complete sentence.
Moved "corallivory in nature" section and made "impacts on ecosystem" a subsection. Definitely a better flow, thanks for that observation.
Added citation for Eucidaris thouarsii sentence.
Fixed table.
changed Arothron meleagris to golden pufferfish.
Added more context to the sentence concerning radulas.
Additional comments:
Regarding your question about the organism observed by Cousteau, I don't know right now. I'll try to dive deeper into that and see if I can find the genesis of that fact.
Thanks for your tips on linking science words and using convert
The organisms discussed in the "in nature" section were based off of what was present in the literature I had available and had citations to support. Most organisms included are significant in their local environment for their corallivory and some are cases that readers might find interesting, such as the crabs that keep coral clean to eat mucus.
Thats a good suggestion, I will take a deeper look into Darwin and Cousteau's experiences and see what I can find and will try to create a "History" section.
I changed the sentence about butterflyfish to make it connect with the material in the "Feeding strategies" section without overlapping. I removed all examples from the "Feeding strategies" section and moved anything relevant to the "In nature" section to make a clearer distinction between content.
This article is written in American English. If you notice any grammar that needs improvement, let me know. I did have some trouble writing the etymology section, wasn't sure what the best verbiage would be.
As for the scientific names, this is one of the first projects I worked on for Wikipedia, so there are a few things I would do differently if I wrote it today. I think I was thinking that not all of the organisms would have a common name (such as the Drupella snails), so to stay consistent I used scientific names for all the organisms. I see now that that is probably not the most accessible for our readers, so I'll go through and change all the scientific names to common names, as applicable.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk21:26, 17 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Aug 19 update
I have removed the sentences regarding Darwin and Cousteau from the lead, since there is no supporting information in the body. I did a quick look around to find more about those encounters, but wasn't able to find much of anything, so for now I'll leave it out. I will try at a later date to build a history section including those encounters if I can find additional sources to support.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk19:26, 19 August 2018 (UTC)reply
I'll take a look into that. I know that certain organisms have adaptations to facilitate corallivory, like strong teeth or strong digestive enzymes. I'll see what I can add.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk02:14, 21 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Added everything I could find on adaptations. During that time, I found the original source about Darwin's discovery of corallivory, so I'll add that in later tonight and ping you when its all ready.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk23:10, 26 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Okay that's good. Also you don't have to keep repeating the same reference after every sentence in a paragraph (so instead of, "Bioeroders consume dead coral substrate.[1] Bioeroders are thought to help reshape coral reef landscapes by eroding dead corals.[1]," it's just, "Bioeroders consume dead coral substrate. Bioeroders are thought to help reshape coral reef landscapes by eroding dead corals.[1]"), so long as it's clear which ref was used for a sentence it's fine User:Dunkleosteus77 |
push to talk23:18, 26 August 2018 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the feedback. I personally like to do it that way so it is easier for editors to add or move sentences in the future; I find it more difficult to add to people's work when its unclear exactly what content is covered by which citation.
†Basilosauridae❯❯❯Talk23:27, 26 August 2018 (UTC)reply
What year did Darwin do this, and while you’re there you’re missing a space before ship’s name, and after that, that about wraps it up. Good job and good luck on your next marine project User:Dunkleosteus77 |
push to talk03:56, 27 August 2018 (UTC)reply