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Wow
there are so many things wrong with this article I don't even know where to begin --
98.110.43.168 (
talk) 03:13, 8 November 2008 (UTC)reply
Well now it looks a bit better! still short though —
98.110.43.168 (
talk) 22:58, 13 November 2008 (UTC)reply
GA Review
This review is
transcluded from
Talk:Chris Lu/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
My comments will trickle in a few lines at a time. Respond to each line separately. I will strike lines as we progress.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 21:16, 17 February 2009 (UTC)reply
His official title is
Cabinet Secretary, which is a position in the administration. I added some wording to the first sentence to try to make it clearer that the position is part of the administration and not the Cabinet. Does this address the issue? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
attended the same time as Obama s/b attended at the same time as Obama.
The objection right after this one rendered this change moot. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Do you mean they were in the same class or that they overlapped by a year or two? I think you should say he was a classmate of Barack Obama to be clear.
Changed to your suggestion. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Washington, D.C. firm Sidley Austin s/b either the Washington, D.C. firm Sidley Austin or Washington, D.C.-based firm Sidley Austin
I went with the former. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
one of the highest-ranking Asian Americans in the administration: Be concrete here or it is meaningless. Is he the highest, 2nd highest, 3rd highest?--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 21:31, 17 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I simply don't know the answer to this; I based it on a statement from the
New York Times source. In an attempt to address this issue, I used an actual quote from the NYT in my lead, and cited it accordingly. Does this address the issue? Let me know. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
After MD I would add ",where he grew up." cited by the first ref.
Ok. Do I have to put in another citation from that first ref after the "where he grew up"? If you think so, feel free to add it yourself, or I'll do it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
adding in 1974, made it ungrammatical unless he grew up in 1974. I fixed it.
Taiwan-Chinese?? I don't know what this means and it is linked in a meaningless way to me. Does it mean China born of Taiwan decent like African-American, Italia-American, etc. or does it mean "The Taiwan part of China" as it were?
Hmm...well, the "
Taiwan-
Chinese" thing was part of the article before I worked on it, so I kinda just left it be, as my source did seem to reflect it. The exact wording of the source is "Lu’s parents are Eileen and Chien-Yang Lu, both of whom were graduate students in the U.S. from Taiwan during the 1960’s." However, it says repeatedly that Chris Lu is a Chinese-American in the source. Maybe the best way to phrase it would be to say his parents were of Chinese dissent and were living in Taiwan? I'm not sure, what do you think? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
This is a PC issue I am unqualified to advise on. For GA we'll leave it be.
For the "Nationality" field of the infobox, I have changed it from "Taiwan-Chinese" to "United States". He was born in the US, so he has American citizenship. I have left the "Early life" section as is, which states that Lu's parents are "Taiwan-Chinese". But this will probably become problematic when the identity politics warriors discover that statement. I see edit-warring over things like that all the time. My suggestion here is to just say that his parents are from Taiwan, without applying an ethnic label.
Hong Qi Gong (
Talk -
Contribs) 14:42, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I agree and made the change.--
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 18:23, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Ref two mentioned a wife. We should note he is married.
Interestingly enough, I did have a mention about Lu being married under a "Personal life" section and under the "Career" section, both of which had previously been removed from the article by a user identified only with an IP address. (Was that you? It happened recently.) They were removed because they were apparently "unverified," but as you'll see, they are in fact verified by the sources. I think they should stay in and I readded them (which I think deals with your objection too), but you're the reviewer. What do you think?--
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I think it is imperative that the info be included unless he has been divorced, separated, annulled, or widowed.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 05:57, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I agree, and it is now in the story. Hopefully it won't be removed again. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I think family of jurists is a bit misleading. His father was an engineer.[3] There is no information that his mother is ajurist. We only know of one. Add that his father was an engineer and reword.
I dropped the "family of jurists" thing. Also, I had actually had a reference to his father in here before, but that too was dropped by the IP address guy. I readded it, take a look... --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Lu remained in the position until 2005. should follow the sentence about 2004 activities. You may have to reword.
I did some rewording, then I realized that it might work better at the beginning of the next section. I added it, let me know what you think. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Does it work after the comma like so? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 05:38, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
"Lu left his job at the Government Reform Committee in 2005"[6] is a problem now.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 22:55, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Quite right. Fixed it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 03:00, 22 February 2009 (UTC)reply
She is listed as Kathryn
here. I see that she is Katie in
the other source, though. I'm more inclined to stick with Kathryn, but you're the reviewer. Which would you prefer we go with? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
During his time on Capitol Hill, Lu met Obama advisors and future White House staffers Pete Rouse and Phil Schiliro, both of whom he considers among his most influential mentors. has a lot of ambiguous pronouns.
Did I miss the text supporting "laying the groundwork for a possible presidential transition."--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 06:45, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I don't see it either, but that was added by the person who has raised some concerns on the talk page. I've asked him if he has a source for it, am waiting to hear back. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I dropped this and told the guy that he should source it if he readds it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
President
The significance of Blake Roberts and his encyclopedic import is lost on me. Why is this sentence in the article?
Actually, that wasn't added by me, that was somebody else. I dropped it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
The artifacts are always the hardest call when editing.
Change "where he was responsible for the day-to-day operations of the transition" to "a position that was responsible for the day-to-day operations of the transition"
Is conflict of interest hyphenated or not. You present it both ways.
I believe (at least according to AP style) it's hyphenated when you use it when referring to conflict-of-interest rules or conflict-of-interest legislation, but when you are using it as a sentence like "This is a conflict of interest" then you don't use them. But if you prefer we just choose or the other, let me know, and I'll drop the hyphens. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Sorry, guess I missed this one. I tried a new wording, but I'm not married to it, so if you have a better suggestion I'm all for it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 05:38, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Personal
One the sources mentioned that he has lived in MD, DC and VA. That is probably an interesting part of his background to include.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 22:22, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I agree that this article desperately needs a photo, but I haven't had luck finding any that can be used. Have any suggestions for me as to where I can look? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 05:47, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Does Lu attend Obama press gatherings. Maybe he is in the background of some photos by accident.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 22:42, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Not that I've found. There are pictures of him
here,
here,
here and
here but I doubt we're allowed to use any of them. There's a poor-quality YouTube video of him
here, but I don't believe a screenshot from here would be useable. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 03:00, 22 February 2009 (UTC)reply
This provides a clear crystalization of the biographical encyclopedic content of this subject. It uses a sufficiently broad array of sources to help the reader understand the identity and role of the subject.
There are a lot of problems with this article. First, I'm not sure we can or should say that he "fell in love" with his wife at Sidley Austin. It's weirdly personal. Second, he worked in the D.C. office of Sidley Austin, not the Chicago office where the Obamas worked, and there's no evidence that he knew them from that period of time. Other problems will be detailed later. —Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Chaudtheclod (
talk •
contribs) 22:59, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
The other thing I'd point out -- and one reason to tighten up the language -- is that the sourcing for "fell in love" is an unverified English translation of a Chinese language article. Let's not read too much into that. —Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Chaudtheclod (
talk •
contribs) 23:02, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I think you raise a legitimate point, and I think the change you've made regarding this is fine. One thing I wanted to ask, however, was I saw you added a bit about "laying the groundwork for a possible presidential transition." I'm sure you're right about this, but we need to cite a legitimate source for everything we include (and no original research is allowed), and the current source doesn't say this. Do you know of a source anywhere that says he did this groundwork, which we can site? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:36, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I dropped the "laying the groundwork for a possible presidential transition" bit. If you find a source for it, please readd it with the source attached. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
External links modified
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libellous. If such material is repeatedly inserted, or if you have other concerns, please report the issue to
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This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
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This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
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This article is within the scope of WikiProject United States, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of topics relating to the
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This article has been rated as Low-importance on the
importance scale.
Wow
there are so many things wrong with this article I don't even know where to begin --
98.110.43.168 (
talk) 03:13, 8 November 2008 (UTC)reply
Well now it looks a bit better! still short though —
98.110.43.168 (
talk) 22:58, 13 November 2008 (UTC)reply
GA Review
This review is
transcluded from
Talk:Chris Lu/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
My comments will trickle in a few lines at a time. Respond to each line separately. I will strike lines as we progress.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 21:16, 17 February 2009 (UTC)reply
His official title is
Cabinet Secretary, which is a position in the administration. I added some wording to the first sentence to try to make it clearer that the position is part of the administration and not the Cabinet. Does this address the issue? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
attended the same time as Obama s/b attended at the same time as Obama.
The objection right after this one rendered this change moot. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Do you mean they were in the same class or that they overlapped by a year or two? I think you should say he was a classmate of Barack Obama to be clear.
Changed to your suggestion. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Washington, D.C. firm Sidley Austin s/b either the Washington, D.C. firm Sidley Austin or Washington, D.C.-based firm Sidley Austin
I went with the former. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
one of the highest-ranking Asian Americans in the administration: Be concrete here or it is meaningless. Is he the highest, 2nd highest, 3rd highest?--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 21:31, 17 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I simply don't know the answer to this; I based it on a statement from the
New York Times source. In an attempt to address this issue, I used an actual quote from the NYT in my lead, and cited it accordingly. Does this address the issue? Let me know. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 00:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
After MD I would add ",where he grew up." cited by the first ref.
Ok. Do I have to put in another citation from that first ref after the "where he grew up"? If you think so, feel free to add it yourself, or I'll do it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
adding in 1974, made it ungrammatical unless he grew up in 1974. I fixed it.
Taiwan-Chinese?? I don't know what this means and it is linked in a meaningless way to me. Does it mean China born of Taiwan decent like African-American, Italia-American, etc. or does it mean "The Taiwan part of China" as it were?
Hmm...well, the "
Taiwan-
Chinese" thing was part of the article before I worked on it, so I kinda just left it be, as my source did seem to reflect it. The exact wording of the source is "Lu’s parents are Eileen and Chien-Yang Lu, both of whom were graduate students in the U.S. from Taiwan during the 1960’s." However, it says repeatedly that Chris Lu is a Chinese-American in the source. Maybe the best way to phrase it would be to say his parents were of Chinese dissent and were living in Taiwan? I'm not sure, what do you think? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
This is a PC issue I am unqualified to advise on. For GA we'll leave it be.
For the "Nationality" field of the infobox, I have changed it from "Taiwan-Chinese" to "United States". He was born in the US, so he has American citizenship. I have left the "Early life" section as is, which states that Lu's parents are "Taiwan-Chinese". But this will probably become problematic when the identity politics warriors discover that statement. I see edit-warring over things like that all the time. My suggestion here is to just say that his parents are from Taiwan, without applying an ethnic label.
Hong Qi Gong (
Talk -
Contribs) 14:42, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I agree and made the change.--
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 18:23, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Ref two mentioned a wife. We should note he is married.
Interestingly enough, I did have a mention about Lu being married under a "Personal life" section and under the "Career" section, both of which had previously been removed from the article by a user identified only with an IP address. (Was that you? It happened recently.) They were removed because they were apparently "unverified," but as you'll see, they are in fact verified by the sources. I think they should stay in and I readded them (which I think deals with your objection too), but you're the reviewer. What do you think?--
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I think it is imperative that the info be included unless he has been divorced, separated, annulled, or widowed.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 05:57, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I agree, and it is now in the story. Hopefully it won't be removed again. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I think family of jurists is a bit misleading. His father was an engineer.[3] There is no information that his mother is ajurist. We only know of one. Add that his father was an engineer and reword.
I dropped the "family of jurists" thing. Also, I had actually had a reference to his father in here before, but that too was dropped by the IP address guy. I readded it, take a look... --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 06:05, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Lu remained in the position until 2005. should follow the sentence about 2004 activities. You may have to reword.
I did some rewording, then I realized that it might work better at the beginning of the next section. I added it, let me know what you think. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Does it work after the comma like so? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 05:38, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
"Lu left his job at the Government Reform Committee in 2005"[6] is a problem now.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 22:55, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Quite right. Fixed it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 03:00, 22 February 2009 (UTC)reply
She is listed as Kathryn
here. I see that she is Katie in
the other source, though. I'm more inclined to stick with Kathryn, but you're the reviewer. Which would you prefer we go with? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
During his time on Capitol Hill, Lu met Obama advisors and future White House staffers Pete Rouse and Phil Schiliro, both of whom he considers among his most influential mentors. has a lot of ambiguous pronouns.
Did I miss the text supporting "laying the groundwork for a possible presidential transition."--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 06:45, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I don't see it either, but that was added by the person who has raised some concerns on the talk page. I've asked him if he has a source for it, am waiting to hear back. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I dropped this and told the guy that he should source it if he readds it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
President
The significance of Blake Roberts and his encyclopedic import is lost on me. Why is this sentence in the article?
Actually, that wasn't added by me, that was somebody else. I dropped it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
The artifacts are always the hardest call when editing.
Change "where he was responsible for the day-to-day operations of the transition" to "a position that was responsible for the day-to-day operations of the transition"
Is conflict of interest hyphenated or not. You present it both ways.
I believe (at least according to AP style) it's hyphenated when you use it when referring to conflict-of-interest rules or conflict-of-interest legislation, but when you are using it as a sentence like "This is a conflict of interest" then you don't use them. But if you prefer we just choose or the other, let me know, and I'll drop the hyphens. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Sorry, guess I missed this one. I tried a new wording, but I'm not married to it, so if you have a better suggestion I'm all for it. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 05:38, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Personal
One the sources mentioned that he has lived in MD, DC and VA. That is probably an interesting part of his background to include.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 22:22, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I agree that this article desperately needs a photo, but I haven't had luck finding any that can be used. Have any suggestions for me as to where I can look? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 05:47, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Does Lu attend Obama press gatherings. Maybe he is in the background of some photos by accident.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM) 22:42, 21 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Not that I've found. There are pictures of him
here,
here,
here and
here but I doubt we're allowed to use any of them. There's a poor-quality YouTube video of him
here, but I don't believe a screenshot from here would be useable. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 03:00, 22 February 2009 (UTC)reply
This provides a clear crystalization of the biographical encyclopedic content of this subject. It uses a sufficiently broad array of sources to help the reader understand the identity and role of the subject.
There are a lot of problems with this article. First, I'm not sure we can or should say that he "fell in love" with his wife at Sidley Austin. It's weirdly personal. Second, he worked in the D.C. office of Sidley Austin, not the Chicago office where the Obamas worked, and there's no evidence that he knew them from that period of time. Other problems will be detailed later. —Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Chaudtheclod (
talk •
contribs) 22:59, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
The other thing I'd point out -- and one reason to tighten up the language -- is that the sourcing for "fell in love" is an unverified English translation of a Chinese language article. Let's not read too much into that. —Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Chaudtheclod (
talk •
contribs) 23:02, 18 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I think you raise a legitimate point, and I think the change you've made regarding this is fine. One thing I wanted to ask, however, was I saw you added a bit about "laying the groundwork for a possible presidential transition." I'm sure you're right about this, but we need to cite a legitimate source for everything we include (and no original research is allowed), and the current source doesn't say this. Do you know of a source anywhere that says he did this groundwork, which we can site? --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 17:36, 19 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I dropped the "laying the groundwork for a possible presidential transition" bit. If you find a source for it, please readd it with the source attached. --
Hunter Kahn (
talk) 04:48, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
External links modified
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