The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The lead needs some sprucing up, as it doesn't currently meet requirements of summarizing the entire article; it dwells too long on his conversion to Islam and awards, and not enough on his biography and career path. (
WP:LEAD)
There are many instances throughout the article of one or two-sentence groupings all by themselves. These are not true paragraphs (which by definition need three or more sentences as a bare minimum) and so these need to be cut, merged into other paragraphs or combined to form them, or else expanded. Ex in the lead are "He currently lives with his wife and children in London, and spends part of each year in Dubai.[4]" and "His newest album, Roadsinger, was released on 5 May 2009."
The sourcing and references of the article need to be checked. At the very least, there are many trailing sentences to paragraphs that are unsourced. Some examples:
"His parents divorced when he was about 8 years old, but they continued to maintain the family restaurant and live above it."
""I'm Gonna Get Me a Gun" reached Britain's Top 10, and the album Matthew and Son itself began charting. The original version of the The Tremeloes cover hit, "Here Comes My Baby", was written and recorded by Stevens" and the following paragraph.
"He recorded on all but two of the succeeding pop music albums Stevens released, and continued performing and recording with him until Stevens' retirement. The two remained friends, however, and years later, when Stevens re-emerged as Yusuf Islam after 27 years, Davies appeared again performing at his side, and has remained there."
"In addition, the song, "Pop Star", about his experience as a teen star, and "Katmandu", featuring Genesis frontman Peter Gabriel playing flute, were featured. Mona Bone Jakon was an early example of the solo singer-songwriter album format that was becoming popular for other artists as well."
I'm concerned about the recent news and Muslim activities bias of the article. Everything before it gets around 25 paragraphs (counting the single sentence quasiparagraphs.) Everything at the Muslim conversion section and after is about twice as long (46 paragraphs). I think more info could be added to his early career, and some of the more detailed information about recent albums moved to the respective subarticles, or cut if it already appears there.
As no progress has been made towards the above, I am delisting the article. It may be renominated at
WP:GAN at any time, however I stress addressing the above issues. If you have questions on any of the above, please use my talk page.
Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(
talk)16:01, 21 December 2009 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The lead needs some sprucing up, as it doesn't currently meet requirements of summarizing the entire article; it dwells too long on his conversion to Islam and awards, and not enough on his biography and career path. (
WP:LEAD)
There are many instances throughout the article of one or two-sentence groupings all by themselves. These are not true paragraphs (which by definition need three or more sentences as a bare minimum) and so these need to be cut, merged into other paragraphs or combined to form them, or else expanded. Ex in the lead are "He currently lives with his wife and children in London, and spends part of each year in Dubai.[4]" and "His newest album, Roadsinger, was released on 5 May 2009."
The sourcing and references of the article need to be checked. At the very least, there are many trailing sentences to paragraphs that are unsourced. Some examples:
"His parents divorced when he was about 8 years old, but they continued to maintain the family restaurant and live above it."
""I'm Gonna Get Me a Gun" reached Britain's Top 10, and the album Matthew and Son itself began charting. The original version of the The Tremeloes cover hit, "Here Comes My Baby", was written and recorded by Stevens" and the following paragraph.
"He recorded on all but two of the succeeding pop music albums Stevens released, and continued performing and recording with him until Stevens' retirement. The two remained friends, however, and years later, when Stevens re-emerged as Yusuf Islam after 27 years, Davies appeared again performing at his side, and has remained there."
"In addition, the song, "Pop Star", about his experience as a teen star, and "Katmandu", featuring Genesis frontman Peter Gabriel playing flute, were featured. Mona Bone Jakon was an early example of the solo singer-songwriter album format that was becoming popular for other artists as well."
I'm concerned about the recent news and Muslim activities bias of the article. Everything before it gets around 25 paragraphs (counting the single sentence quasiparagraphs.) Everything at the Muslim conversion section and after is about twice as long (46 paragraphs). I think more info could be added to his early career, and some of the more detailed information about recent albums moved to the respective subarticles, or cut if it already appears there.
As no progress has been made towards the above, I am delisting the article. It may be renominated at
WP:GAN at any time, however I stress addressing the above issues. If you have questions on any of the above, please use my talk page.
Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(
talk)16:01, 21 December 2009 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.