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Reviewer: Mike Christie ( talk · contribs) 02:14, 19 January 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 02:14, 19 January 2018 (UTC)
I used to play Carroms at an Indian friend's house in London in about 1970, so was delighted to discover what this was about when I picked it to review. I'd forgotten the name of the game.
I'll add comments as I go through; it might take me a day or two to complete the review. Please revert my copyedits if I make a mess of anything.
The advertisement notes that it was patented on October 26, 1897, and that other associated patents were "pending.": suggest cutting this; it's evident from the display of patents.
Readers could obtain a catalog of the CARROMS products by requesting one from Ludington Novelty in Michigan: We already know Ludington is in Michigan, and it's not exactly a surprise that Ludington Novelty is where the catalogs could be requested from. I'd make this just "Catalogs of CARROMS products were available on request", or something similar.
-- More later, probably tomorrow. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 12:15, 19 January 2018 (UTC)
All the fixes above look fine. Reading through the whole article, I think there are some confusing points in the chronology. Here's a timeline I pulled out of the article; I've left this in the order the article gives it.
Here are some questions and issues based on the history section and on looking at the list above.
At one time in the 20th century it was the only domestic manufacturer of chess sets; in the 21st century it was in financial difficulty and nearly went out of business: I can't tell if this refers to Drueke or Merdel.
The Drueke Company, along with its employees and equipment, was merged into the game division of Merdel Manufacturing Company in Ludington after Affiliated Hospital Products Company acquired it: I don't understand this. Merdel bought Drueke in 1992. AHP sold their carroms games branch to Merdel in 1972. So what does the reference to AHP in this sentence mean? They were no longer involved in carroms, were they?
-- Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 13:05, 20 January 2018 (UTC)
Everything now looks good; in particular it's now clear that there is still a "Carrom Company" today, even after all the mergers and acquisitions. Passing. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 15:25, 21 January 2018 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Mike Christie ( talk · contribs) 02:14, 19 January 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 02:14, 19 January 2018 (UTC)
I used to play Carroms at an Indian friend's house in London in about 1970, so was delighted to discover what this was about when I picked it to review. I'd forgotten the name of the game.
I'll add comments as I go through; it might take me a day or two to complete the review. Please revert my copyedits if I make a mess of anything.
The advertisement notes that it was patented on October 26, 1897, and that other associated patents were "pending.": suggest cutting this; it's evident from the display of patents.
Readers could obtain a catalog of the CARROMS products by requesting one from Ludington Novelty in Michigan: We already know Ludington is in Michigan, and it's not exactly a surprise that Ludington Novelty is where the catalogs could be requested from. I'd make this just "Catalogs of CARROMS products were available on request", or something similar.
-- More later, probably tomorrow. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 12:15, 19 January 2018 (UTC)
All the fixes above look fine. Reading through the whole article, I think there are some confusing points in the chronology. Here's a timeline I pulled out of the article; I've left this in the order the article gives it.
Here are some questions and issues based on the history section and on looking at the list above.
At one time in the 20th century it was the only domestic manufacturer of chess sets; in the 21st century it was in financial difficulty and nearly went out of business: I can't tell if this refers to Drueke or Merdel.
The Drueke Company, along with its employees and equipment, was merged into the game division of Merdel Manufacturing Company in Ludington after Affiliated Hospital Products Company acquired it: I don't understand this. Merdel bought Drueke in 1992. AHP sold their carroms games branch to Merdel in 1972. So what does the reference to AHP in this sentence mean? They were no longer involved in carroms, were they?
-- Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 13:05, 20 January 2018 (UTC)
Everything now looks good; in particular it's now clear that there is still a "Carrom Company" today, even after all the mergers and acquisitions. Passing. Mike Christie ( talk - contribs - library) 15:25, 21 January 2018 (UTC)