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Lead
It is unclear in the lead why the rise of Charles of Anjou was significant. There is no harm in expanding the lead slightly on this, especially given that
WP:LEAD asks for four paragraphs as a rule of thumb.
Good point. I've expanded the lede quite a bit to cover the background of the events since 1261.
Byzantine–Genoese–Venetian relations...
"As a result..." is an odd way to start the first sentence of a new subsection. Readers will be wondering "as a result of what?" I'm thinking that phrase can just be removed without changing any meaning.
Done.
Aftermath
"...500 Venetians seized in Negroponte..." Please expand. Did this happen before or after the treaty coming into force? If before, why were they not returned earlier? If after, was this some kind of treaty breach?
This refers to article 7 of the 1265 treaty and article 1 of the 1268 treaty; the city of Negroponte was a Venetian colony, but in a sort of condominium with the Lombard lords of Euboea (also referred to as Negroponte). Licario attacked the Lombard lords, and the Venetians of Negroponte, on their own initiative, despite the treaty of Venice with Palaiologos. I've rephrased to clear some of the confusion.
Thankyou for the explanation, but it is still unclear in the article when these prisoners were taken and who, if anyone, was in breach of the treaty.
SpinningSpark16:49, 27 March 2019 (UTC)reply
"...and in 1272 renewed his alliance with Genoa..." The text does not say who is being referred to here.
Fixed.
"The terms posed by the Popes..." Why is the plural used here?
Typo error, fixed.
"Angevin". Can we wikilink this please. (Is
Capetian House of Anjou the right link?) It is not obvious if you don't already know that Angevin is the adjectival form of Anjou.
Hi
Spinningspark, thanks a lot for taking the to review this. Anything else? How did the article read? I know it is a complicated issue with multiple actors, so I am always worried about comprehensibility for the average reader. If you have any suggestions above and beyond GA criteria, feel free to add them here.
Constantine ✍ 09:29, 25 March 2019 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
This article is within the scope of the Military history WikiProject. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project and see a
list of open tasks. To use this banner, please see the
full instructions.Military historyWikipedia:WikiProject Military historyTemplate:WikiProject Military historymilitary history articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Greece, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Greek history on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.GreeceWikipedia:WikiProject GreeceTemplate:WikiProject GreeceGreek articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Italy, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Italy on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.ItalyWikipedia:WikiProject ItalyTemplate:WikiProject ItalyItaly articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Middle Ages, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
the Middle Ages on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Middle AgesWikipedia:WikiProject Middle AgesTemplate:WikiProject Middle AgesMiddle Ages articles
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
other graphic symbols, and do not strike through completed items.
Lead
It is unclear in the lead why the rise of Charles of Anjou was significant. There is no harm in expanding the lead slightly on this, especially given that
WP:LEAD asks for four paragraphs as a rule of thumb.
Good point. I've expanded the lede quite a bit to cover the background of the events since 1261.
Byzantine–Genoese–Venetian relations...
"As a result..." is an odd way to start the first sentence of a new subsection. Readers will be wondering "as a result of what?" I'm thinking that phrase can just be removed without changing any meaning.
Done.
Aftermath
"...500 Venetians seized in Negroponte..." Please expand. Did this happen before or after the treaty coming into force? If before, why were they not returned earlier? If after, was this some kind of treaty breach?
This refers to article 7 of the 1265 treaty and article 1 of the 1268 treaty; the city of Negroponte was a Venetian colony, but in a sort of condominium with the Lombard lords of Euboea (also referred to as Negroponte). Licario attacked the Lombard lords, and the Venetians of Negroponte, on their own initiative, despite the treaty of Venice with Palaiologos. I've rephrased to clear some of the confusion.
Thankyou for the explanation, but it is still unclear in the article when these prisoners were taken and who, if anyone, was in breach of the treaty.
SpinningSpark16:49, 27 March 2019 (UTC)reply
"...and in 1272 renewed his alliance with Genoa..." The text does not say who is being referred to here.
Fixed.
"The terms posed by the Popes..." Why is the plural used here?
Typo error, fixed.
"Angevin". Can we wikilink this please. (Is
Capetian House of Anjou the right link?) It is not obvious if you don't already know that Angevin is the adjectival form of Anjou.
Hi
Spinningspark, thanks a lot for taking the to review this. Anything else? How did the article read? I know it is a complicated issue with multiple actors, so I am always worried about comprehensibility for the average reader. If you have any suggestions above and beyond GA criteria, feel free to add them here.
Constantine ✍ 09:29, 25 March 2019 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.