The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I will be reviewing this article for GA, I have many things that need to be done, but they are some minor changes, so I will not immediately fail this nomination. I will add to this page as I read the article. I will not display that section if I believe that it passes the criteria.
General
Look for occurrences of a word being wikilinked more than once in the article, and delink all but the first mention of that word such as the following:
FixedIn the history: Whopper, Donald N. Smith, Cheddar cheese, Pepper jack cheese, and BK Baguette line. Also there are several occurrences of the linking to the terms "globalization" and "fillets"; Icee is linked twice, delink the second occurrence in the second paragraph of Soft Drinks section. Good --
12george1 (
talk)
17:13, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Lead
FixedOn the second paragraph, the first sentence is: "1978 saw the introduction of breakfast items and an expanded menu featuring the introduction of the company's "Specialty Sandwich" product line". I personally think sentences seem a bit awkward with they start with a date or year. Is there anyway you can re-word that sentence so it doesn't start with 1978, such as: "By 1978, saw the introduction breakfast items were introduced, along with an expanded menu featuring the introduction of the company's "Specialty Sandwich" product line"?--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
FixedWikilink some of the words in the lead that should probably be linked to, like link "United States" in the first paragraph and "Pillsbury" in the third.--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
History
Sandwiches and entrées
Fixed Why is milkshake linked in this section (5th paragraph), rather than the lead? It should be the first time that the word is used.--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Fixed One more thing here: with the mention of US currency with using "(USD)" on the end, it is not shown until the last time in that section (5th paragraph), when it should be after the first or all of the US currency values.--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Fixed Several date inconsistencies, like at first this is what I see: day-month-year. But then going done the list, I see year-month-day, even worse I find the date numerically year-month-date. Please fix all of the inconsistencies.--
12george1 (
talk)
02:09, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Although I see several errors, I am not going to fail just yet, because it is mostly minor stuff, except for the references. Also I would like to see this as a good article because my mom was a former Burger King manager.--
12george1 (
talk)
02:09, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Thanks for picking up on those listed issues and for doing the review. While I work on converting to text the bulleted lists, is there anything else that you see that needs to be addressed? --Jeremy (
blah blah •
I did it!)19:55, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Yes, I have one small task left: some of the references are exposing the URL, like #34, 67, 82, 104. Fix this problem and the dead link for ref #97 and I will pass. Also, sorry for some of the more "nit-picky" tasks, but I am in the WikiCup and I needed to make a legit review for points.--
12george1 (
talk)
21:48, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Done I finished making the edits you requested, if you want to go through and see if there is anything else that needs to be done or that was missed by me that would be great. Otherwise again, thanks for the review. --Jeremy (
blah blah •
I did it!)18:26, 4 January 2011 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I will be reviewing this article for GA, I have many things that need to be done, but they are some minor changes, so I will not immediately fail this nomination. I will add to this page as I read the article. I will not display that section if I believe that it passes the criteria.
General
Look for occurrences of a word being wikilinked more than once in the article, and delink all but the first mention of that word such as the following:
FixedIn the history: Whopper, Donald N. Smith, Cheddar cheese, Pepper jack cheese, and BK Baguette line. Also there are several occurrences of the linking to the terms "globalization" and "fillets"; Icee is linked twice, delink the second occurrence in the second paragraph of Soft Drinks section. Good --
12george1 (
talk)
17:13, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Lead
FixedOn the second paragraph, the first sentence is: "1978 saw the introduction of breakfast items and an expanded menu featuring the introduction of the company's "Specialty Sandwich" product line". I personally think sentences seem a bit awkward with they start with a date or year. Is there anyway you can re-word that sentence so it doesn't start with 1978, such as: "By 1978, saw the introduction breakfast items were introduced, along with an expanded menu featuring the introduction of the company's "Specialty Sandwich" product line"?--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
FixedWikilink some of the words in the lead that should probably be linked to, like link "United States" in the first paragraph and "Pillsbury" in the third.--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
History
Sandwiches and entrées
Fixed Why is milkshake linked in this section (5th paragraph), rather than the lead? It should be the first time that the word is used.--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Fixed One more thing here: with the mention of US currency with using "(USD)" on the end, it is not shown until the last time in that section (5th paragraph), when it should be after the first or all of the US currency values.--
12george1 (
talk)
00:43, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Fixed Several date inconsistencies, like at first this is what I see: day-month-year. But then going done the list, I see year-month-day, even worse I find the date numerically year-month-date. Please fix all of the inconsistencies.--
12george1 (
talk)
02:09, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Although I see several errors, I am not going to fail just yet, because it is mostly minor stuff, except for the references. Also I would like to see this as a good article because my mom was a former Burger King manager.--
12george1 (
talk)
02:09, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Thanks for picking up on those listed issues and for doing the review. While I work on converting to text the bulleted lists, is there anything else that you see that needs to be addressed? --Jeremy (
blah blah •
I did it!)19:55, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Yes, I have one small task left: some of the references are exposing the URL, like #34, 67, 82, 104. Fix this problem and the dead link for ref #97 and I will pass. Also, sorry for some of the more "nit-picky" tasks, but I am in the WikiCup and I needed to make a legit review for points.--
12george1 (
talk)
21:48, 3 January 2011 (UTC)reply
Done I finished making the edits you requested, if you want to go through and see if there is anything else that needs to be done or that was missed by me that would be great. Otherwise again, thanks for the review. --Jeremy (
blah blah •
I did it!)18:26, 4 January 2011 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.