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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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Cited: - The cited source implies that he was the top student in Clarendon, but it may not be the case. I suppose the hook can be at least as cautious as the source on this.
Hey Howard the Duck, thanks for the review, but I don't quite agree. The source says "which means he was the top student for Clarendon", so that's unambiguous (as opposed to "which suggests", etc.). I wouldn't second-guess what the source is literally saying (that "it may not be the case") In any case I don't know how cautious the reworded hook can be, never mind that its original wording is verifiable, without sounding awkward.
Kingoflettuce (
talk)
08:57, 12 May 2020 (UTC)reply
I suppose a short explanation of him attending Munro College on a government scholarship means he was considered the top student of the county.
Howard the Duck (
talk)
09:58, 12 May 2020 (UTC)reply
In the hook? I just find it a mouthful and it doesn't change that at the end of the day the source does unambiguously say that he was the top student.
Kingoflettuce (
talk)
12:13, 12 May 2020 (UTC)reply
More of a comment than a review, but I'm not so sure about the hook interest. Being a top student in a place is a remarkable achievement, but also fairly common place and doesn't seem to make a good hook if it refers to a fairly obscure location. There's probably still potential for the hook fact, but at the very least it could be reworded to make it more appealing, like perhaps he got a scholarship because of it. Is it also known if the scholarship was the reason he entered politics? If it was, that might work better as a hook.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew08:29, 31 May 2020 (UTC)reply
There really is little to work with in the article at present, which is little more than a list of his positions and awards. I have dug up some sources on his views, which would help make a good hook. I listed some sources on the article talk page.
Yoninah (
talk)
17:22, 15 June 2020 (UTC)reply
@
Yoninah: have you found anything? I think the Clarendon fact is interesting enough to carry a hook, but if you have more options now we can go from there.
Kingsif (
talk)
11:50, 23 June 2020 (UTC)reply
The primary reviewer is Howard the Duck, but any editor can comment on their thoughts on the article and hooks. Nominations still need to follow consensus of editors when applicable.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew14:39, 25 June 2020 (UTC)reply
I concur with BarrelProof and Narutolovehinata5 that the hook is not appealing to a broad audience. Being the top student in a parish is not interesting. I suggest closing the nomination unless something interesting can be found.
Flibirigit (
talk)
03:17, 10 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Right now the only angle that seems to be possible is the Order of Jamaica aspect. If additional information could be added to the article, maybe suggestions based on that could work.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew00:34, 11 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Leaving this as a possible option:
ALT1 ... that former Jamaican education minister Burchell Whiteman has been praised for contributing to quality and affordable education in the country?
I'm not a big fan of ALT1 given that it sounds vague a bit promotional, but its fact is the only other part of the article that seems suitable right now. Upon further research, it turns out that the
Order of Jamaica is actually only the fourth most-prestigious title in the country, so it probably wouldn't work as a hook anymore given its relatively lower status. If no other appropriate proposals can be written, this may need to be marked for closure.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew12:45, 15 July 2020 (UTC)reply
I'm sorry that the nominator hasn't come back to improve the article. Whiteman was a significant figure but this page reads like a dry resume. I would mark for closure right now.
Yoninah (
talk)
13:29, 15 July 2020 (UTC)reply
I concur with the statement above. The "Career" section is too short to cover the subject and the nomination has been abandoned. If the article becomes GA it could be nominated again.
Flibirigit (
talk)
23:06, 15 July 2020 (UTC)reply
This article must adhere to the biographies of living persons (BLP) policy, even if it is not a biography, because it contains material about living persons. Contentious material about living persons that is unsourced or
poorly sourcedmust be removed immediately from the article and its talk page, especially if potentially
libellous. If such material is repeatedly inserted, or if you have other concerns, please report the issue to
this noticeboard.If you are a subject of this article, or acting on behalf of one, and you need help, please see this help page.
This article is rated Start-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following
WikiProjects:
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
join the project and
contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
this nomination's talk page,
the article's talk page or
Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
Cited: - The cited source implies that he was the top student in Clarendon, but it may not be the case. I suppose the hook can be at least as cautious as the source on this.
Hey Howard the Duck, thanks for the review, but I don't quite agree. The source says "which means he was the top student for Clarendon", so that's unambiguous (as opposed to "which suggests", etc.). I wouldn't second-guess what the source is literally saying (that "it may not be the case") In any case I don't know how cautious the reworded hook can be, never mind that its original wording is verifiable, without sounding awkward.
Kingoflettuce (
talk)
08:57, 12 May 2020 (UTC)reply
I suppose a short explanation of him attending Munro College on a government scholarship means he was considered the top student of the county.
Howard the Duck (
talk)
09:58, 12 May 2020 (UTC)reply
In the hook? I just find it a mouthful and it doesn't change that at the end of the day the source does unambiguously say that he was the top student.
Kingoflettuce (
talk)
12:13, 12 May 2020 (UTC)reply
More of a comment than a review, but I'm not so sure about the hook interest. Being a top student in a place is a remarkable achievement, but also fairly common place and doesn't seem to make a good hook if it refers to a fairly obscure location. There's probably still potential for the hook fact, but at the very least it could be reworded to make it more appealing, like perhaps he got a scholarship because of it. Is it also known if the scholarship was the reason he entered politics? If it was, that might work better as a hook.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew08:29, 31 May 2020 (UTC)reply
There really is little to work with in the article at present, which is little more than a list of his positions and awards. I have dug up some sources on his views, which would help make a good hook. I listed some sources on the article talk page.
Yoninah (
talk)
17:22, 15 June 2020 (UTC)reply
@
Yoninah: have you found anything? I think the Clarendon fact is interesting enough to carry a hook, but if you have more options now we can go from there.
Kingsif (
talk)
11:50, 23 June 2020 (UTC)reply
The primary reviewer is Howard the Duck, but any editor can comment on their thoughts on the article and hooks. Nominations still need to follow consensus of editors when applicable.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew14:39, 25 June 2020 (UTC)reply
I concur with BarrelProof and Narutolovehinata5 that the hook is not appealing to a broad audience. Being the top student in a parish is not interesting. I suggest closing the nomination unless something interesting can be found.
Flibirigit (
talk)
03:17, 10 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Right now the only angle that seems to be possible is the Order of Jamaica aspect. If additional information could be added to the article, maybe suggestions based on that could work.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew00:34, 11 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Leaving this as a possible option:
ALT1 ... that former Jamaican education minister Burchell Whiteman has been praised for contributing to quality and affordable education in the country?
I'm not a big fan of ALT1 given that it sounds vague a bit promotional, but its fact is the only other part of the article that seems suitable right now. Upon further research, it turns out that the
Order of Jamaica is actually only the fourth most-prestigious title in the country, so it probably wouldn't work as a hook anymore given its relatively lower status. If no other appropriate proposals can be written, this may need to be marked for closure.
Narutolovehinata5tccsdnew12:45, 15 July 2020 (UTC)reply
I'm sorry that the nominator hasn't come back to improve the article. Whiteman was a significant figure but this page reads like a dry resume. I would mark for closure right now.
Yoninah (
talk)
13:29, 15 July 2020 (UTC)reply
I concur with the statement above. The "Career" section is too short to cover the subject and the nomination has been abandoned. If the article becomes GA it could be nominated again.
Flibirigit (
talk)
23:06, 15 July 2020 (UTC)reply