The second paragraph does not need the phrase "Miller grew up in New Castle, Indiana where" unless he was notable while growing up. Just jump to high school if that is his first. Then pare down the details.
If you are going to make the claim "Brandon Miller went on to became a star point guard for New Castle." it needs some further detail. Was he All-American, All-State, All-Metro. How did he rank in the
Indiana Mr. Basketball voting during his senior year? Does he have any state records or high rankings?--
TonyTheTiger (
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23:20, 30 September 2013 (UTC)reply
He did not have a significant contribution. Do you want me to make this explicit with a statement like "Miller scored no points in 12 minutes of NCCA tournament action."? --
ThaddeusB (
talk)
21:58, 4 November 2013 (UTC)reply
Thank you for the review and your patience in not failing it when I was not around. I will attempt to address your concerns this weekend. Sorry for the delay,
ThaddeusB (
talk)
19:19, 18 October 2013 (UTC)reply
I am working on researching Miller's HS days and will definitely take your suggestion of providing specifics rather than the vague "star" label. --
ThaddeusB (
talk)
17:56, 21 October 2013 (UTC)reply
This review is inching along. I see that on November 4, you responded to another concern. I can be patient, but we need to see constant progress. It should not be a full week between attempts to respond to more of the concerns.--
TonyTheTiger (
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00:55, 11 November 2013 (UTC)reply
My apologies about another gap in activity... I plan to make substantial progress over the next week, as I will have more free time than I've had recently. --
ThaddeusB (
talk)
20:02, 22 November 2013 (UTC)reply
I have tried to be patient. You have barely editted this article since October 24. The only edits were two template substitution edits on November 4. It is now almost 4 weeks without an edit and 5.5 weeks without a significant one. I am FAILING this review. When you have time to respond to concerns renominate.--
TonyTheTiger (
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23:38, 1 December 2013 (UTC)reply
The second paragraph does not need the phrase "Miller grew up in New Castle, Indiana where" unless he was notable while growing up. Just jump to high school if that is his first. Then pare down the details.
If you are going to make the claim "Brandon Miller went on to became a star point guard for New Castle." it needs some further detail. Was he All-American, All-State, All-Metro. How did he rank in the
Indiana Mr. Basketball voting during his senior year? Does he have any state records or high rankings?--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR /
WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD)
23:20, 30 September 2013 (UTC)reply
He did not have a significant contribution. Do you want me to make this explicit with a statement like "Miller scored no points in 12 minutes of NCCA tournament action."? --
ThaddeusB (
talk)
21:58, 4 November 2013 (UTC)reply
Thank you for the review and your patience in not failing it when I was not around. I will attempt to address your concerns this weekend. Sorry for the delay,
ThaddeusB (
talk)
19:19, 18 October 2013 (UTC)reply
I am working on researching Miller's HS days and will definitely take your suggestion of providing specifics rather than the vague "star" label. --
ThaddeusB (
talk)
17:56, 21 October 2013 (UTC)reply
This review is inching along. I see that on November 4, you responded to another concern. I can be patient, but we need to see constant progress. It should not be a full week between attempts to respond to more of the concerns.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO /
WP:WAWARD)
00:55, 11 November 2013 (UTC)reply
My apologies about another gap in activity... I plan to make substantial progress over the next week, as I will have more free time than I've had recently. --
ThaddeusB (
talk)
20:02, 22 November 2013 (UTC)reply
I have tried to be patient. You have barely editted this article since October 24. The only edits were two template substitution edits on November 4. It is now almost 4 weeks without an edit and 5.5 weeks without a significant one. I am FAILING this review. When you have time to respond to concerns renominate.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:WAWARD)
23:38, 1 December 2013 (UTC)reply