The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
So I'm reviewing one of your articles once again; thought I'd do this since you have three song nominees currently pending review. --
K. Peake 08:58, 31 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Infobox and lead
Infobox looks good, apart from the lack of
streaming under release formats
"posing and walking around the area." → "posing in the area, as well as walking around."
"The video is a" → "According to Lipa, the video is a"
"Lipa also promoted the single with live performances at
BBC Radio 1's live lounge" → "Lipa further promoted the song in 2016 with live performances for
BBC Radio 1's
Live Lounge" with the wikilink
"Night Moves and Black Saint" → "Night Moves, and Black Saint"
Mention the release dates of the acoustic version and remixes; maybe write the acoustic was simultaneous with the initial single release and then state the release date exactly of the remixes ep?
Doesn't the lyrics sentence belong in the ending para instead?
Usually yes, but I was analyzing the lyrics from every part of the song so for the first paragraph, I just wrote it for the song as a whole, then the other paragraphs are about the different parts of the song.: verse, chorus, pre-chorus.
LOVI33 17:26, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
"
synths and echoing tribal drums." → "
synths, and echoing tribal drums."
Shouldn't the closing para be ordered so the positive reviews come before mixed/negative ones?
Re-ordered.
LOVI33 17:40, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
Done
Commercial performance
"In the United Kingdom, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" debuted at" → ""Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" debuted at"
"becoming her second entry on the chart" → "becoming Lipa's second entry on the chart,"
Add release year of the song in brackets
"reached a peak of 30 and lasted for an additional eight weeks after that." → "reached a peak of number 30 and lasted for an additional eight weeks afterwards."
"the song received a platinum certification from the" → "the song was certified platinum by the"
"for selling over 600,000 units." → "for selling 600,000 units in the UK."
"to eventually peak at" → "and eventually peaked at"
"The single was more successful" → "The song was more successful"
"and reached a peak of 15." → "and later reached a peak of number 15."
"in Australia, where it reached a peak of 59." → "of Australia, on which it reached number 59."
"In the United States, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)"" → "In the US, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)""
"and only lasted one week." → "though the song only lasted one week."
"it reached number 23 on US Pop Radio," → "it reached number 23 on the US
Mainstream Top 40 chart," with the wikilink
Remove target on Billboard
"the song received a gold certification from the" → "the song was certified gold by the"
"for selling over 500,000 units." → "for sales of 500,000 certified units in the US."
"through a megaphone with" → "through a
megaphone, accompanied by" on the img main text with the wikilink, plus are you sure she was not singing?
"speaking" → "singing".
LOVI33 18:05, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
"The video opens with Lipa" → "The music video opens with Lipa"
"the girls were noted for having individualistic appearances." → "the girls appear in a manner that was noted for being individualistic."
The bench statement does not appear to be backed up, unless it has been worded differently and I did not look properly
"They chew gum" → "The group chew gum"
"blow bubbles as" → "blow bubbles, as"
This sentence appears not to be backed up; I will not instate this for every sentence that has not been done so, I assume you can back any unsourced ones up yourself
"and "You Can Sit With Us."" → "and "You Can Sit With Us"."
"goes to a roof top where" → "go to a roof top on which"
"with the song's title" → "with the song's title on it"
"Mike Nied of Idolator called the visual a" → "Nied called the visual a"
"V, viewed it" → "The staff of V viewed the video"
"Bianca Gracie stated the" → "Bianca Gracie stated that the"
"In Coup De Main Magazine, Rose Riddell" → "In Coup De Main Magazine, Rose Riddell"
"DIY stated that the video makes London look like paradise." → "The staff from DIY stated that the video makes London look like a paradise."
My mistake for the unsourced ones. I sourced it all at the end because I didn't want to repeat the same citation so many times. It is the
I Want My Pop Culture source. Should I add it in everywhere that applies?
LOVI33 18:05, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
Done
Credits and personnel
Promonews should be italicised
Use {{
spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel
Done
Live performances
"in 2016 and 2017 as well as the" → "in 2016 and 2017, respectively, as well as at the"
"On 13 October, she performed" → "On 13 October of that year, she performed the song"
"she performed the song" → "Lipa performed the song"
"On 29 November 2016, she performed the song on American talk show Today." → "She performed the song for American talk show Today on 29 November 2016."
"She also performed the song in a session" → "Lipa performed the song during a session"
"she performed it in" → "she performed it for"
Done
Track listings
Maybe add streaming to the titles of the digital downloads?
Remove target on EP
Done
Credits and personnel
Use spaced ndash so there is the right space between credits and personnel
Cite
iTunes Store (US) as publisher instead for ref 5, removing the location parameter and add more citations with the formatting to back up that the release was various
Replaced with media source, the song was removed from iTunes after the release of Dua Lipa.
Cite iTunes Store (GB) as publisher instead for ref 10, removing the location parameter and add more citations with the formatting to back up that the release was various
Do the same for ref 11
de la Rosa, Manzanares → Rosa, Manzanares de la on ref 15
Unfortunately did not finish this today, sorry but I am really tired though will definitely wrap up the review tomorrow. --
K. Peake 21:10, 31 July 2020 (UTC)reply
On hold after taking a look through at what was remaining. --
K. Peake 07:03, 1 August 2020 (UTC)reply
Hey
Kyle Peake, thanks so much for reviewing this article. I have addressed all your comments. Is there anything else you need me to do?
LOVI33 19:55, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
LOVI33 Much thanks, I fixed the issue with the ref in the music video section and you can take a look at that
here. ✓Pass time for this article now though after that brief copy editing! --
K. Peake 20:27, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
So I'm reviewing one of your articles once again; thought I'd do this since you have three song nominees currently pending review. --
K. Peake 08:58, 31 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Infobox and lead
Infobox looks good, apart from the lack of
streaming under release formats
"posing and walking around the area." → "posing in the area, as well as walking around."
"The video is a" → "According to Lipa, the video is a"
"Lipa also promoted the single with live performances at
BBC Radio 1's live lounge" → "Lipa further promoted the song in 2016 with live performances for
BBC Radio 1's
Live Lounge" with the wikilink
"Night Moves and Black Saint" → "Night Moves, and Black Saint"
Mention the release dates of the acoustic version and remixes; maybe write the acoustic was simultaneous with the initial single release and then state the release date exactly of the remixes ep?
Doesn't the lyrics sentence belong in the ending para instead?
Usually yes, but I was analyzing the lyrics from every part of the song so for the first paragraph, I just wrote it for the song as a whole, then the other paragraphs are about the different parts of the song.: verse, chorus, pre-chorus.
LOVI33 17:26, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
"
synths and echoing tribal drums." → "
synths, and echoing tribal drums."
Shouldn't the closing para be ordered so the positive reviews come before mixed/negative ones?
Re-ordered.
LOVI33 17:40, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
Done
Commercial performance
"In the United Kingdom, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" debuted at" → ""Blow Your Mind (Mwah)" debuted at"
"becoming her second entry on the chart" → "becoming Lipa's second entry on the chart,"
Add release year of the song in brackets
"reached a peak of 30 and lasted for an additional eight weeks after that." → "reached a peak of number 30 and lasted for an additional eight weeks afterwards."
"the song received a platinum certification from the" → "the song was certified platinum by the"
"for selling over 600,000 units." → "for selling 600,000 units in the UK."
"to eventually peak at" → "and eventually peaked at"
"The single was more successful" → "The song was more successful"
"and reached a peak of 15." → "and later reached a peak of number 15."
"in Australia, where it reached a peak of 59." → "of Australia, on which it reached number 59."
"In the United States, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)"" → "In the US, "Blow Your Mind (Mwah)""
"and only lasted one week." → "though the song only lasted one week."
"it reached number 23 on US Pop Radio," → "it reached number 23 on the US
Mainstream Top 40 chart," with the wikilink
Remove target on Billboard
"the song received a gold certification from the" → "the song was certified gold by the"
"for selling over 500,000 units." → "for sales of 500,000 certified units in the US."
"through a megaphone with" → "through a
megaphone, accompanied by" on the img main text with the wikilink, plus are you sure she was not singing?
"speaking" → "singing".
LOVI33 18:05, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
"The video opens with Lipa" → "The music video opens with Lipa"
"the girls were noted for having individualistic appearances." → "the girls appear in a manner that was noted for being individualistic."
The bench statement does not appear to be backed up, unless it has been worded differently and I did not look properly
"They chew gum" → "The group chew gum"
"blow bubbles as" → "blow bubbles, as"
This sentence appears not to be backed up; I will not instate this for every sentence that has not been done so, I assume you can back any unsourced ones up yourself
"and "You Can Sit With Us."" → "and "You Can Sit With Us"."
"goes to a roof top where" → "go to a roof top on which"
"with the song's title" → "with the song's title on it"
"Mike Nied of Idolator called the visual a" → "Nied called the visual a"
"V, viewed it" → "The staff of V viewed the video"
"Bianca Gracie stated the" → "Bianca Gracie stated that the"
"In Coup De Main Magazine, Rose Riddell" → "In Coup De Main Magazine, Rose Riddell"
"DIY stated that the video makes London look like paradise." → "The staff from DIY stated that the video makes London look like a paradise."
My mistake for the unsourced ones. I sourced it all at the end because I didn't want to repeat the same citation so many times. It is the
I Want My Pop Culture source. Should I add it in everywhere that applies?
LOVI33 18:05, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
Done
Credits and personnel
Promonews should be italicised
Use {{
spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel
Done
Live performances
"in 2016 and 2017 as well as the" → "in 2016 and 2017, respectively, as well as at the"
"On 13 October, she performed" → "On 13 October of that year, she performed the song"
"she performed the song" → "Lipa performed the song"
"On 29 November 2016, she performed the song on American talk show Today." → "She performed the song for American talk show Today on 29 November 2016."
"She also performed the song in a session" → "Lipa performed the song during a session"
"she performed it in" → "she performed it for"
Done
Track listings
Maybe add streaming to the titles of the digital downloads?
Remove target on EP
Done
Credits and personnel
Use spaced ndash so there is the right space between credits and personnel
Cite
iTunes Store (US) as publisher instead for ref 5, removing the location parameter and add more citations with the formatting to back up that the release was various
Replaced with media source, the song was removed from iTunes after the release of Dua Lipa.
Cite iTunes Store (GB) as publisher instead for ref 10, removing the location parameter and add more citations with the formatting to back up that the release was various
Do the same for ref 11
de la Rosa, Manzanares → Rosa, Manzanares de la on ref 15
Unfortunately did not finish this today, sorry but I am really tired though will definitely wrap up the review tomorrow. --
K. Peake 21:10, 31 July 2020 (UTC)reply
On hold after taking a look through at what was remaining. --
K. Peake 07:03, 1 August 2020 (UTC)reply
Hey
Kyle Peake, thanks so much for reviewing this article. I have addressed all your comments. Is there anything else you need me to do?
LOVI33 19:55, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
LOVI33 Much thanks, I fixed the issue with the ref in the music video section and you can take a look at that
here. ✓Pass time for this article now though after that brief copy editing! --
K. Peake 20:27, 2 August 2020 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.