Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Hello. This is a very nice article, but still needs a bit of improvement to become a good article. Below is a list of what I feel is missing based on the criteria.
*The Image
File:McPheeBradley.JPG does not have a fair use rationale for using it on this article. I am not sure that one exists either. I beleive the use of this image would only be acceptable on an article about the book itself. See
WP:F for more details.
*
File:Billbradleytimemagazine.jpg has the same issue as above. The image likely is only acceptable on an article about the magazine itself. In any case, there is no fair use rationale for its use on this article.
**Bradley chose Princeton University—even though, as an Ivy League school, it could not offer an athletic scholarship—after backing out of a commitment to Duke University. Could be: After backing out of a commitment to Duke University, Bradley chose to attend Princeton University—even though, as an Ivy League school, it could not offer an athletic scholarship.
**During his high school years, Bradley maintained a maniacal practice schedule. Maniacle sounds a bit odd here unless you are quoting someone. How about "rigorous" instead?
**Bradley is an Eagle Scout and recipient of the Distinguished Eagle Scout Award from the Boy Scouts of America. One sentance paragraps should be merged in somewhere else or expanded. See
WP:Paragraph
**More than four decades after completing his college career, Bradley holds a number of Ivy League career records, including total and average points (1,253/29.83, respectively), and free throws made and attempted (409/468, 87.4%). This is not going to age very well. Keep in mind that in another twenty years this article will still be here. Maybe say something like, "As of 2009, Bradley still holds a number of Ivy League career records..."
**Harry S Truman should be Harry S. Truman
**Although Gore was considered the party favorite,[29] Bradley did receive several high-profile endorsements. He was supported by senators Paul Wellstone,[34] Bob Kerrey, and Daniel Patrick Moynihan;[35] former senators John A. Durkin and Adlai Stevenson III; Governor John Kitzhaber; former governors Lowell Weicker (a former Republican),[36] Tony Earl, Ray Mabus, Brendan Byrne, Robert W. Scott, Neil Goldschmidt, Philip W. Noel, Kenneth M. Curtis, and Patrick Lucey; Representatives George Miller, Bill Lipinski, Pete Stark, Jerrold Nadler, Luis Gutiérrez, Anna Eshoo, Jim McDermott, and Diana DeGette; former Representatives Jim McNulty, Mary Rose Oakar, Michael J. Harrington, Andy Jacobs, and David Skaggs; former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich; former New York City mayor Ed Koch; former Federal Reserve chairman Paul Volcker; filmmaker Spike Lee; San Francisco Supervisor Tom Ammiano; Seattle Mayor Paul Schell; Harvard Professor Cornel West; feminist icon Betty Friedan; former Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox; and basketball stars Michael Jordan and Bradley's former Knicks teammate and close friend Phil Jackson.[37][38][39] This list is really execsive. Cut it down to five of the most important and either footnote the rest, or remove them.
**The article relies heavily on newspaper sources, which is ok, but you would get a much better picture and more details if you could find a book with a more comprehnsive look at his life. This is not such a problem, as I feel the sourcing meets the GA requirements, but it will be a definite needs to improve this if you intend to take this article for a
featured review.
*There is some problem with the reference formatting. Each web reference must include an access date. Ref #35 has a syntax problem.
If you can fix up these issues the article should pass. I am placing the review on hold for one week for these improvements to made. Good luck! — Charles Edward ( Talk | Contribs) 18:56, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
I am going to go ahead and pass this GA review now. You have brought it up to what I feel to be a minimum standard for a good article. There is still alot of information that could be added into this article, and it still needs alot of work to continue improving it. To take it to the next level, it will be important to focus on expanding the content primarily, and to a lesser degree cleaning up the prose for a better read and finding more comprehensive sources on his life. His political career could use the most expansion. Good job so far! — Charles Edward ( Talk | Contribs) 23:15, 10 September 2009 (UTC)
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Hello. This is a very nice article, but still needs a bit of improvement to become a good article. Below is a list of what I feel is missing based on the criteria.
*The Image
File:McPheeBradley.JPG does not have a fair use rationale for using it on this article. I am not sure that one exists either. I beleive the use of this image would only be acceptable on an article about the book itself. See
WP:F for more details.
*
File:Billbradleytimemagazine.jpg has the same issue as above. The image likely is only acceptable on an article about the magazine itself. In any case, there is no fair use rationale for its use on this article.
**Bradley chose Princeton University—even though, as an Ivy League school, it could not offer an athletic scholarship—after backing out of a commitment to Duke University. Could be: After backing out of a commitment to Duke University, Bradley chose to attend Princeton University—even though, as an Ivy League school, it could not offer an athletic scholarship.
**During his high school years, Bradley maintained a maniacal practice schedule. Maniacle sounds a bit odd here unless you are quoting someone. How about "rigorous" instead?
**Bradley is an Eagle Scout and recipient of the Distinguished Eagle Scout Award from the Boy Scouts of America. One sentance paragraps should be merged in somewhere else or expanded. See
WP:Paragraph
**More than four decades after completing his college career, Bradley holds a number of Ivy League career records, including total and average points (1,253/29.83, respectively), and free throws made and attempted (409/468, 87.4%). This is not going to age very well. Keep in mind that in another twenty years this article will still be here. Maybe say something like, "As of 2009, Bradley still holds a number of Ivy League career records..."
**Harry S Truman should be Harry S. Truman
**Although Gore was considered the party favorite,[29] Bradley did receive several high-profile endorsements. He was supported by senators Paul Wellstone,[34] Bob Kerrey, and Daniel Patrick Moynihan;[35] former senators John A. Durkin and Adlai Stevenson III; Governor John Kitzhaber; former governors Lowell Weicker (a former Republican),[36] Tony Earl, Ray Mabus, Brendan Byrne, Robert W. Scott, Neil Goldschmidt, Philip W. Noel, Kenneth M. Curtis, and Patrick Lucey; Representatives George Miller, Bill Lipinski, Pete Stark, Jerrold Nadler, Luis Gutiérrez, Anna Eshoo, Jim McDermott, and Diana DeGette; former Representatives Jim McNulty, Mary Rose Oakar, Michael J. Harrington, Andy Jacobs, and David Skaggs; former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich; former New York City mayor Ed Koch; former Federal Reserve chairman Paul Volcker; filmmaker Spike Lee; San Francisco Supervisor Tom Ammiano; Seattle Mayor Paul Schell; Harvard Professor Cornel West; feminist icon Betty Friedan; former Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox; and basketball stars Michael Jordan and Bradley's former Knicks teammate and close friend Phil Jackson.[37][38][39] This list is really execsive. Cut it down to five of the most important and either footnote the rest, or remove them.
**The article relies heavily on newspaper sources, which is ok, but you would get a much better picture and more details if you could find a book with a more comprehnsive look at his life. This is not such a problem, as I feel the sourcing meets the GA requirements, but it will be a definite needs to improve this if you intend to take this article for a
featured review.
*There is some problem with the reference formatting. Each web reference must include an access date. Ref #35 has a syntax problem.
If you can fix up these issues the article should pass. I am placing the review on hold for one week for these improvements to made. Good luck! — Charles Edward ( Talk | Contribs) 18:56, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
I am going to go ahead and pass this GA review now. You have brought it up to what I feel to be a minimum standard for a good article. There is still alot of information that could be added into this article, and it still needs alot of work to continue improving it. To take it to the next level, it will be important to focus on expanding the content primarily, and to a lesser degree cleaning up the prose for a better read and finding more comprehensive sources on his life. His political career could use the most expansion. Good job so far! — Charles Edward ( Talk | Contribs) 23:15, 10 September 2009 (UTC)