GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: MSG17 ( talk · contribs) 02:46, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Hello! I will be reviewing this GA. Since it is rather short, I hope I can get it done by the end of the weekend (give or take), although, as usual, we should try to get this completed within a week. Anyway, after your awesome work with Hindi cinema (and
one Tamil film), it's great to see you improve an article for a Telugu film. And what more fitting than the first Telugu "talkie"!
MSG17 (
talk)
02:46, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Mostly good, just needs some copyediting.
The film is about the Hindu religious leader Prahlada.I think it would be more appropriate to describe him as a "Hindu legendary figure".
The same cast, all were Telugus, from it was also used for the film adaptation."The same cast, all Telugus, was used..."
was considered the first protagonistdon't think "considered" is needed here, since it is established this is the first Telugu sound film
L. V. Prasad, who worked as an assistant director and appeared as the comical cameo of Prahlada's classmate, became the first comedian in the history of Telugu sound films.- might be better to word it like this: "...assistant director, played the first comedic role in Telugu sound cinema in a cameo appearance as Prahlada's classmate." (L. V. Prasad is not considered a "comedian" in the Telugu film industry, which has a very specific/typescripted idea of a "comedian" actor playing humorous characters for their entire career, often with similar personalities in each role, e.g. Brahmanandam.)
with orchestra located far from the camera."an orchestra"
The film's duration ran for 108 minutes."ran for" -> "was"/"lasted"
22 January 1932 censorship"censorship" is ungrammatical, maybe "censor [certificate] date" or "censorship date"?
the picture's unclarityunclarity is wrong here, better to say "low clarity" or "low quality"
but praise the sound and songs"praised", past tense
using the cellulose acetate filmno "the"
more uninflammable"uninflammable" is technically correct (due to some funny aspects of English), but is quite a mouthful; maybe "fire-resistant"
Looks pretty good here. Don't see any issues with reliability, plagarism/copyvio or original research. Only one thing:
Looks pretty good on all these fronts. Scope is good, it could be expanded but given the lack of materials for this film it is understandable that coverage is limited. No bias that I see. Not many changes in the past weeks. If there is a better synopsis of the film available, though, I'd recommend you include or expand from it.
Good Article review progress box
|
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: MSG17 ( talk · contribs) 02:46, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Hello! I will be reviewing this GA. Since it is rather short, I hope I can get it done by the end of the weekend (give or take), although, as usual, we should try to get this completed within a week. Anyway, after your awesome work with Hindi cinema (and
one Tamil film), it's great to see you improve an article for a Telugu film. And what more fitting than the first Telugu "talkie"!
MSG17 (
talk)
02:46, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Mostly good, just needs some copyediting.
The film is about the Hindu religious leader Prahlada.I think it would be more appropriate to describe him as a "Hindu legendary figure".
The same cast, all were Telugus, from it was also used for the film adaptation."The same cast, all Telugus, was used..."
was considered the first protagonistdon't think "considered" is needed here, since it is established this is the first Telugu sound film
L. V. Prasad, who worked as an assistant director and appeared as the comical cameo of Prahlada's classmate, became the first comedian in the history of Telugu sound films.- might be better to word it like this: "...assistant director, played the first comedic role in Telugu sound cinema in a cameo appearance as Prahlada's classmate." (L. V. Prasad is not considered a "comedian" in the Telugu film industry, which has a very specific/typescripted idea of a "comedian" actor playing humorous characters for their entire career, often with similar personalities in each role, e.g. Brahmanandam.)
with orchestra located far from the camera."an orchestra"
The film's duration ran for 108 minutes."ran for" -> "was"/"lasted"
22 January 1932 censorship"censorship" is ungrammatical, maybe "censor [certificate] date" or "censorship date"?
the picture's unclarityunclarity is wrong here, better to say "low clarity" or "low quality"
but praise the sound and songs"praised", past tense
using the cellulose acetate filmno "the"
more uninflammable"uninflammable" is technically correct (due to some funny aspects of English), but is quite a mouthful; maybe "fire-resistant"
Looks pretty good here. Don't see any issues with reliability, plagarism/copyvio or original research. Only one thing:
Looks pretty good on all these fronts. Scope is good, it could be expanded but given the lack of materials for this film it is understandable that coverage is limited. No bias that I see. Not many changes in the past weeks. If there is a better synopsis of the film available, though, I'd recommend you include or expand from it.
Good Article review progress box
|