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CarpetCrawler
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23:07, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
This article looks good, but I have a few concerns.
- In the lead, might want to wikify that Julian fellow, he may be pretty well known. ;)
- Also, can you expand the last paragraph of the lead? Maybe even put that sentence into another paragraph? It makes it look stubby.
- the "guitar groups are on the way out, Mr. Epstein" comment is cute. :)
- In the "Please Please Me: the breakthrough" section, combine that sentence into the paragraph. Also, the statement needs a source.
- "Two of the nationwide tours were led by popular American stars, but at every show during both tours, the crowds would not stop screaming for The Beatles, who proved even more popular than the American stars." Are the names of the American stars known?
- "Three months after "Please Please Me", The Beatles recorded their first album, also titled Please Please Me (1962). The follow up single, "From Me to You", became the band's first undisputed #1 song, which marked the pattern of only releasing singles which would not appear on the group's original albums in the UK." This paragraph is stubby, please combine or expand it. :)
- Once again, might want to wikify Lennon's son in the "1963: a year of touring" section.
- for the "February 1963: first nationwide tour", once again, combine the one sentence paragraph into the other paragraph.
- do the same as above for the "March 1963: second nationwide tour" and "May 1963: third nationwide tour" sections.
- Could you combine or expand the last three paragraphs of the "November 1963: fourth nationwide tour" section? They are all 1-2 sentence paragraphs.
- All of the website citations need to be properly formatted using the cite web template.
Also, citation number 42 is a deadlink, and needs to be fixed.
Until my concerns have been addressed, I will place this article on hold. Please leave me a message on my talkpage if you have any questions, or if you have addressed my concerns. Thanks, good work, and good luck! CarpetCrawler message me 23:37, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
OK, the article looks great now, so I will pass it! Great job with fixing everything up! I'm very happy to see an article of such importance get very good coverage. Keep up the great work, thanks, and congratulations! CarpetCrawler message me 18:47, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
Article (
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visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Hello, I will be reviewing this article. Check back soon for a full review!
CarpetCrawler
message me
23:07, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
This article looks good, but I have a few concerns.
- In the lead, might want to wikify that Julian fellow, he may be pretty well known. ;)
- Also, can you expand the last paragraph of the lead? Maybe even put that sentence into another paragraph? It makes it look stubby.
- the "guitar groups are on the way out, Mr. Epstein" comment is cute. :)
- In the "Please Please Me: the breakthrough" section, combine that sentence into the paragraph. Also, the statement needs a source.
- "Two of the nationwide tours were led by popular American stars, but at every show during both tours, the crowds would not stop screaming for The Beatles, who proved even more popular than the American stars." Are the names of the American stars known?
- "Three months after "Please Please Me", The Beatles recorded their first album, also titled Please Please Me (1962). The follow up single, "From Me to You", became the band's first undisputed #1 song, which marked the pattern of only releasing singles which would not appear on the group's original albums in the UK." This paragraph is stubby, please combine or expand it. :)
- Once again, might want to wikify Lennon's son in the "1963: a year of touring" section.
- for the "February 1963: first nationwide tour", once again, combine the one sentence paragraph into the other paragraph.
- do the same as above for the "March 1963: second nationwide tour" and "May 1963: third nationwide tour" sections.
- Could you combine or expand the last three paragraphs of the "November 1963: fourth nationwide tour" section? They are all 1-2 sentence paragraphs.
- All of the website citations need to be properly formatted using the cite web template.
Also, citation number 42 is a deadlink, and needs to be fixed.
Until my concerns have been addressed, I will place this article on hold. Please leave me a message on my talkpage if you have any questions, or if you have addressed my concerns. Thanks, good work, and good luck! CarpetCrawler message me 23:37, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
OK, the article looks great now, so I will pass it! Great job with fixing everything up! I'm very happy to see an article of such importance get very good coverage. Keep up the great work, thanks, and congratulations! CarpetCrawler message me 18:47, 1 June 2009 (UTC)