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GA Review

Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Calvin999 ( talk · contribs) 14:15, 10 February 2012 (UTC) reply

I will review the article :) Aaron You Da One 14:15, 10 February 2012 (UTC) reply

Thanks. Oz talk 20:38, 10 February 2012 (UTC) reply


  • Please put a  Done or  Not done explaining your concern next to addressed points.

Lead

  • Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship where neither side wants to compromise." → When you put a quote in the lead, you have to put the source there.
  • I did a slight copyedit of the lead. There were no major issues.

Background and release

  • "She later received a phone call saying she was going to record "Battlefield"." → I think this could be worded better. How about "She later received a phone call which confirmed that she was to record "Battlefield"."  Done
  • "was first released" → removed "first"  Done
  • "A Digital EP with" → why is "Digital" capitalised.  Done
  • "Germany on July 10" → put a comma after 10.  Done
  • "A Compact Disc single" → change to [[Compact Disc single|CD single]].  Done

Composition

  • "Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship..." → "The song's lyrics revolve around "a tumultuous relationship..."  Done
  • "Nick Levine of Digital Spy" → Link Digital Spy
  • Can you provide a better caption for the audio file?  Done

Critical reception

  • ", writing that," → ", writing"  Done
  • ""incredible" and wrote, " → ""incredible," writing "  Done
  • You say "Battlefield" 10 times in this section. Replace some of them with "the song" or "it".  Done
  • This is like WP:QUOTEFARM, can you paraphrase some of the quotes.  Done
  • You say "writing" or "wrote" a lot, how about "described", "stated", "noted", "thought", "concluded" ?  Done

Chart performance

  • Again, you write "Battlefield" 11 times, it's very repetitive.  Done
  • Numbers one to nine should be written as such. Only double digits should be written numerically. Be consistent, as you flick between the two.  Done
  • "In the United Kingdom, "Battlefield" debuted on the UK Singles Chart" → Use either United Kingdom or UK Singles Chart, you don't need to say both.  Done
  • "In Ireland, "Battlefield" debuted and peaked at number nine on the Irish Singles Chart" → Same here. Don't need to say both.
  • "number 81.." → There are two full stops.  Done
  • "the Netherlands" → The Netherlands  Done
  • "In Switzerland, "Battlefield" debuted and peaked on the Swiss Singles Chart" → Same as UK and Ireland points above.  Done
  • "In Sweden, "Battlefield" debuted on the Swedish Singles Chart" → Same as UK, Ireland and Switzerland.  Done
  • I made some corrections to the sales certifications.

Music video

  • Would be really good if you could uploaded a screenshot.
  • "1971 De Tomaso Pantera sports car" → Unless you find a source for this, you will have to simply say "car"  Done
  • "Sparks lying out in a field" → "Sparks laying down in a field"  Done
  • Could you expand the synopsis a bit more? Only because this is quite a small section.  Done

Live performances and cover versions

  • "and was accompanied" → "and accompanied" Accompanied is already in the past tense, no need for was.  Done
  • The first paragraph could be refined more, at the moment is just like a list.  Done

Track listing and formats

  • No issues.

Credits and personnel

  • I did a slight copyedit. Put the list into two columns.
  • No other issues.

Charts and certifications

  • "Battlefield" charted on the US Adult Contemporary chart [1]  Done
  • Use the certification style table which can be seen here [2]  Done

Release history

  • For Germany, put the footnotes next to the country, not the format.  Done

References

  • MTV references: work parameters are MTV/MTV News etc., and the publisher is Viacom.  Done
  • Apple references: Only put Apple, not Apple Inc.  Done
  • FN6: Link [[iTunes Store]] and [[Apple Inc.|Apple]] as this is the first Apple ref.  Done
  • FN19: Link [[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]] and [[Prometheus Global Media]] as this is the first Billboard ref.  Done
  • 7digital.com is not a reliable source, so you need to remove all of them.  Done
  • FN23: Remove Inc., link CBS  Done
  • FN34: Unlink Billboard and PGM, as this is the second reference instance.  Done
  • FN37: Remove Inc.  Done
  • Chartstats.com is a big no no.  Done
  • Jordinsparks.com is also not reliable, it's self published.

Summary

On hold for 7 days. Let me know when you have addressed everything. If you have any questions, just ask me. Aaron You Da One 17:42, 13 February 2012 (UTC) reply

Are you still amending issues without a  Done ? Aaron You Da One 13:36, 14 February 2012 (UTC) reply
No I just havent finished yet. Sorry if I'm taking long. Oz talk 19:43, 14 February 2012 (UTC) reply
Completely done? Can you not expand the music video synopsis? Aaron You Da One 01:34, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
Internet is slow at the moment its pissing me off. I can't remember what the video looks like. Oz talk 03:12, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
OKay. I'm passing the article. Everything else has been addressed. It's not the end of the world that there isn't a screenshot, at least there is an audio sample. Aaron You Da One 12:50, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
I was talking about the synopsis but thanks. Oz talk 13:35, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Calvin999 ( talk · contribs) 14:15, 10 February 2012 (UTC) reply

I will review the article :) Aaron You Da One 14:15, 10 February 2012 (UTC) reply

Thanks. Oz talk 20:38, 10 February 2012 (UTC) reply


  • Please put a  Done or  Not done explaining your concern next to addressed points.

Lead

  • Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship where neither side wants to compromise." → When you put a quote in the lead, you have to put the source there.
  • I did a slight copyedit of the lead. There were no major issues.

Background and release

  • "She later received a phone call saying she was going to record "Battlefield"." → I think this could be worded better. How about "She later received a phone call which confirmed that she was to record "Battlefield"."  Done
  • "was first released" → removed "first"  Done
  • "A Digital EP with" → why is "Digital" capitalised.  Done
  • "Germany on July 10" → put a comma after 10.  Done
  • "A Compact Disc single" → change to [[Compact Disc single|CD single]].  Done

Composition

  • "Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship..." → "The song's lyrics revolve around "a tumultuous relationship..."  Done
  • "Nick Levine of Digital Spy" → Link Digital Spy
  • Can you provide a better caption for the audio file?  Done

Critical reception

  • ", writing that," → ", writing"  Done
  • ""incredible" and wrote, " → ""incredible," writing "  Done
  • You say "Battlefield" 10 times in this section. Replace some of them with "the song" or "it".  Done
  • This is like WP:QUOTEFARM, can you paraphrase some of the quotes.  Done
  • You say "writing" or "wrote" a lot, how about "described", "stated", "noted", "thought", "concluded" ?  Done

Chart performance

  • Again, you write "Battlefield" 11 times, it's very repetitive.  Done
  • Numbers one to nine should be written as such. Only double digits should be written numerically. Be consistent, as you flick between the two.  Done
  • "In the United Kingdom, "Battlefield" debuted on the UK Singles Chart" → Use either United Kingdom or UK Singles Chart, you don't need to say both.  Done
  • "In Ireland, "Battlefield" debuted and peaked at number nine on the Irish Singles Chart" → Same here. Don't need to say both.
  • "number 81.." → There are two full stops.  Done
  • "the Netherlands" → The Netherlands  Done
  • "In Switzerland, "Battlefield" debuted and peaked on the Swiss Singles Chart" → Same as UK and Ireland points above.  Done
  • "In Sweden, "Battlefield" debuted on the Swedish Singles Chart" → Same as UK, Ireland and Switzerland.  Done
  • I made some corrections to the sales certifications.

Music video

  • Would be really good if you could uploaded a screenshot.
  • "1971 De Tomaso Pantera sports car" → Unless you find a source for this, you will have to simply say "car"  Done
  • "Sparks lying out in a field" → "Sparks laying down in a field"  Done
  • Could you expand the synopsis a bit more? Only because this is quite a small section.  Done

Live performances and cover versions

  • "and was accompanied" → "and accompanied" Accompanied is already in the past tense, no need for was.  Done
  • The first paragraph could be refined more, at the moment is just like a list.  Done

Track listing and formats

  • No issues.

Credits and personnel

  • I did a slight copyedit. Put the list into two columns.
  • No other issues.

Charts and certifications

  • "Battlefield" charted on the US Adult Contemporary chart [1]  Done
  • Use the certification style table which can be seen here [2]  Done

Release history

  • For Germany, put the footnotes next to the country, not the format.  Done

References

  • MTV references: work parameters are MTV/MTV News etc., and the publisher is Viacom.  Done
  • Apple references: Only put Apple, not Apple Inc.  Done
  • FN6: Link [[iTunes Store]] and [[Apple Inc.|Apple]] as this is the first Apple ref.  Done
  • FN19: Link [[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]] and [[Prometheus Global Media]] as this is the first Billboard ref.  Done
  • 7digital.com is not a reliable source, so you need to remove all of them.  Done
  • FN23: Remove Inc., link CBS  Done
  • FN34: Unlink Billboard and PGM, as this is the second reference instance.  Done
  • FN37: Remove Inc.  Done
  • Chartstats.com is a big no no.  Done
  • Jordinsparks.com is also not reliable, it's self published.

Summary

On hold for 7 days. Let me know when you have addressed everything. If you have any questions, just ask me. Aaron You Da One 17:42, 13 February 2012 (UTC) reply

Are you still amending issues without a  Done ? Aaron You Da One 13:36, 14 February 2012 (UTC) reply
No I just havent finished yet. Sorry if I'm taking long. Oz talk 19:43, 14 February 2012 (UTC) reply
Completely done? Can you not expand the music video synopsis? Aaron You Da One 01:34, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
Internet is slow at the moment its pissing me off. I can't remember what the video looks like. Oz talk 03:12, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
OKay. I'm passing the article. Everything else has been addressed. It's not the end of the world that there isn't a screenshot, at least there is an audio sample. Aaron You Da One 12:50, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply
I was talking about the synopsis but thanks. Oz talk 13:35, 15 February 2012 (UTC) reply

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