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Reviewer: Alex Shih ( talk · contribs) 16:36, 27 January 2018 (UTC)
their 30-year reputation for invincibility in open battle: This claim is properly summarised in the "Legacy" section, but I am concerned that it is somewhat vague. The Hundred Years' War began on 1337, so it has been 33 years. Is there a reason why the claim cannot be more precise? Also, if this battle is significant for being the first time in 33 years that the English forces were defeated in open battle, shouldn't the military strength of the English forces and their previous success be mentioned somewhere in the "Background" section, so that the claim does not appear to be coming out of nowhere?
"burning all the country which refused to pay ransom money.": When I think of "ransom money", I think of something or someone is being taken prisoner; if Knolles is simply raiding and sacking towns and villages, wouldn't it be "tributes" instead? Or is there some missing context that the "ransom money" is alluding to?
The English campaign in the west began achieving some successes: This is very confusing. I am assuming that this campaign is a separate one from Knolles, but where is this "west" referring to? If the English is marching through in the order of Picardy, Champagne, Normandy and Maine, it would appear that this campaign started in the north of France, moving eastward before marching west, a path that is strikingly similar to the one Knolles took (Calais-Reims-Paris-Vendôme). More context and preferably a map is necessary I think.
... by 1370, ...men such as Chandos and Knolles were summoned from their retirements: I think this section should come earlier, as it provides the context needed before going into the detailed military maneuvers made by Knolles. By the way, since Chandos already died in 1369, this sentence does not make much sense at the moment.
However, it is possible that either the King...: This part sounds like speculation. Is it drawn from the Fowler 2001 source? If so, the sentence should be phrased along the lines of "according to Fowler..."
The remainder, numbering about 4,000 men: This paragraph is not really coherent and does not appear to be relevant to the section "Tactics and strategy", more of a repetition of the "Divisions among the English leadership" section. I would probably remove the entire section.
desperate fighting: Seems to me only the English was fighting desperately?
the chronicler: Is this chronicler the contemporary chronicler mentioned earlier in this section, or is it Pierre d'Orgemont? I think a clarification would help.
out of fear of admitting the French as well as their countryfolk: Why would they fear admitting their countryfolk? Or is this sentence meant to say "out of fear of admitting the French as well if they open the gate to admit their countryfolk".
...while the English nobility Knolles because of his low social status: This sentence did not make much sense to me, so I've temporarily removed it.
...in the region: did you mean "in the range"? I am unable to read the source directly, but I am curious about how did they come up with a precise number. In any case, the currency needs to be adjusted for inflation, in which I have done.
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Reviewer: Alex Shih ( talk · contribs) 16:36, 27 January 2018 (UTC)
their 30-year reputation for invincibility in open battle: This claim is properly summarised in the "Legacy" section, but I am concerned that it is somewhat vague. The Hundred Years' War began on 1337, so it has been 33 years. Is there a reason why the claim cannot be more precise? Also, if this battle is significant for being the first time in 33 years that the English forces were defeated in open battle, shouldn't the military strength of the English forces and their previous success be mentioned somewhere in the "Background" section, so that the claim does not appear to be coming out of nowhere?
"burning all the country which refused to pay ransom money.": When I think of "ransom money", I think of something or someone is being taken prisoner; if Knolles is simply raiding and sacking towns and villages, wouldn't it be "tributes" instead? Or is there some missing context that the "ransom money" is alluding to?
The English campaign in the west began achieving some successes: This is very confusing. I am assuming that this campaign is a separate one from Knolles, but where is this "west" referring to? If the English is marching through in the order of Picardy, Champagne, Normandy and Maine, it would appear that this campaign started in the north of France, moving eastward before marching west, a path that is strikingly similar to the one Knolles took (Calais-Reims-Paris-Vendôme). More context and preferably a map is necessary I think.
... by 1370, ...men such as Chandos and Knolles were summoned from their retirements: I think this section should come earlier, as it provides the context needed before going into the detailed military maneuvers made by Knolles. By the way, since Chandos already died in 1369, this sentence does not make much sense at the moment.
However, it is possible that either the King...: This part sounds like speculation. Is it drawn from the Fowler 2001 source? If so, the sentence should be phrased along the lines of "according to Fowler..."
The remainder, numbering about 4,000 men: This paragraph is not really coherent and does not appear to be relevant to the section "Tactics and strategy", more of a repetition of the "Divisions among the English leadership" section. I would probably remove the entire section.
desperate fighting: Seems to me only the English was fighting desperately?
the chronicler: Is this chronicler the contemporary chronicler mentioned earlier in this section, or is it Pierre d'Orgemont? I think a clarification would help.
out of fear of admitting the French as well as their countryfolk: Why would they fear admitting their countryfolk? Or is this sentence meant to say "out of fear of admitting the French as well if they open the gate to admit their countryfolk".
...while the English nobility Knolles because of his low social status: This sentence did not make much sense to me, so I've temporarily removed it.
...in the region: did you mean "in the range"? I am unable to read the source directly, but I am curious about how did they come up with a precise number. In any case, the currency needs to be adjusted for inflation, in which I have done.