"led by initially Walter Raleigh" "Initially" should be placed next to the verb "led".
"including the large Portuguese Carrack Madre de Deus which was captured after a long naval battle off Flores island" "Which" introduces a nonrestrictive clause and needs a comma.
"The expedition, particularly the capture of the great carrack was a huge success" The parenthetical phrase is missing a comma after "carrack".
"and subsequent arguments of share." The clause needs a verb, like "there were subsequent arguments".
General
The
toolbox shows that multiple links need to be disambiguated .
There are problems with the sources:
Pages should be abbreviated p. or pp. and not pg.
Many of the page numbers are also missing a period after the abbreviation.
Some of the references are malformed, like the "[[{{subst:date}}]]" in the Hakluyt reference
Why are there Spanish words in a list of English language sources? "págs. 59." in the Edwards references should be "pages".
This is a minor nitpick, but you should cite the 2004 updated Oxford DNB instead of the outdated 1885 one.
The article is in need of some major copyediting. There are several grammatical and MoS issues, just in the lead alone. Contact
Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors.
The article is broad in coverage, stable, and neutral. However, there are problems with the sources, grammar, and images. The article needs a copyeditor to go through it before the review resumes.--
Khanate General (
talk)
13:07, 10 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Can the clarification needed tag be addressed? If so I'll pass this assuming good faith that the copyedit will finally get done (I did a skim look in the meantime)
Wizardman02:52, 22 February 2014 (UTC)reply
"led by initially Walter Raleigh" "Initially" should be placed next to the verb "led".
"including the large Portuguese Carrack Madre de Deus which was captured after a long naval battle off Flores island" "Which" introduces a nonrestrictive clause and needs a comma.
"The expedition, particularly the capture of the great carrack was a huge success" The parenthetical phrase is missing a comma after "carrack".
"and subsequent arguments of share." The clause needs a verb, like "there were subsequent arguments".
General
The
toolbox shows that multiple links need to be disambiguated .
There are problems with the sources:
Pages should be abbreviated p. or pp. and not pg.
Many of the page numbers are also missing a period after the abbreviation.
Some of the references are malformed, like the "[[{{subst:date}}]]" in the Hakluyt reference
Why are there Spanish words in a list of English language sources? "págs. 59." in the Edwards references should be "pages".
This is a minor nitpick, but you should cite the 2004 updated Oxford DNB instead of the outdated 1885 one.
The article is in need of some major copyediting. There are several grammatical and MoS issues, just in the lead alone. Contact
Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors.
The article is broad in coverage, stable, and neutral. However, there are problems with the sources, grammar, and images. The article needs a copyeditor to go through it before the review resumes.--
Khanate General (
talk)
13:07, 10 December 2013 (UTC)reply
Can the clarification needed tag be addressed? If so I'll pass this assuming good faith that the copyedit will finally get done (I did a skim look in the meantime)
Wizardman02:52, 22 February 2014 (UTC)reply